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Love And Bald Heads

Love And Bald Heads image
Parent Issue
Day
7
Month
March
Year
1879
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

No one who looks down f rom a gallery in a church, upon a devout and God-like eongregation, can fail to notice how prone the Christian is to the loss of nis hair. Piety and bald-headadness seem to go together, that the head of the believer mightbe ashiningliglit, a city on the hill. And yet if one goes to a Godless theatre, the same thing is observable. Worldliness is as bad as piety. The bloated capitalist and the horny-handed son of toil are equally liable to the barei'ootedness on the top of the head. And this, too, in the face of the fact that proud science has long wrestled with this problem, andinvwitions innumerable announce themselves as causing a luxuriant growth of hair. Baldheadedness, liowever, does not impair a man's valué in the ordinary affairs of life. He can buy or sell, insure, run a bank, or accept an ofllce, with not hairenough on his head to make a first-class eyebrow ; but when it comes to making love to a girl it is very much in the way. Tliere is a great deal of capillary attraction in love. Girls adore a handsome suit of glossy hair. It is lovely. And wlien a lover comes to woo her with the top of his head shining like a greased pumpkin, he is at a disadvantage. Just as the words that glow and the thoughts that burn hegto to awaken in her bosona a sympathetie tluill, she may happen to notico two ov three llies promenading over his phrenological organs- and all is over. Girls are so frivolous. She immediately becomes more interested in those flies than in all his lovely language. While he is pouring out his love and passion she is wondering how the flies manage to hold on to such a slippery surface. One of the Bichmond papers objects to the stocking the Virginia rivera with flsh, on the ground that it would "encourage idleness among the people, who being thus fnrnished with free iood, would negleet agriculture.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Michigan Argus