Trifles

A tail bearer - the peacock. Roll-call - the baker's visit. Played out - a retired actor. A summer resort - linen dusters. A seedy occupation - the florist'a. Ot'ÍHi found wbere it is not - fault. Xautical - boatmen are apt to be crafiy. The optícian lenses goods before selling them. Blushing - least used by those who have the most occasion for it. Sun-struck by the frost is what St. Louis calis being frozen to death. Birds are not noted for courage, but many of them die game. When a cobbler beats his wife, he does it with shoemaker's whacks. Farmers are like f owls ; neither will get full crops without industry. The man who is waiting for something to turn up generally flnds it when he steps on a barrel-hoop. It is said a shad lives but one year. It is almost incredible that he can develop such a wilderness of bones in so brief a time. An Illinois man writing to the clerk of the Supreme Court of the State for a license to practise law, said, "If you have two sizes send me the largest one." A Rhode Island policeman was shot last week. As the wound was in front und not behind, it is plain to be seen that he shot himself. - [Rockland Courier. Some enterprising Westerners talk of buying Sitting Buil. They propose to sink a shaft in him and run him on shares. They think he contains rich veins of copper. Mrs. Lot gave a backward g'ance and became a pillar of salt. If that peculiar process of salt manufacture was in vogue at the present day the market would soon be glutted. "Though I have only one eye 111 bet you 1 can see more'n you can." "Done!" "I can see your two eyes in your face and you can see only one in mine. Hand me over the stakes." A beggar boy made application to a farmer's wife in Scotland for relief,and was refused, on the ground that she "had no copper ;" to which the unchin very accommodatingly replied, "I take siller, mem." "My dear," said an Irish gentleman to bis wife, "I would rather the children were keut.in thp. "t wiin i ,uu „t rióme, although 1 should not objecr to their noise, if they wouid only be quiet." Hoo'l, in an article of singular humor, siates that the phrase "repubüc oí letters" was hit upon to insinúate that, taking the whole lot of authors together, they had not got a sovereign amongst them. "Oh, grandma !" cried a mischievous little urchin, "I cheated the hens so nicely just now ! I threw them your gold beads and they thought they were corn, and ate them up as fast as they could." If yon carve a goose, and it should be tough, and slip off the dish through your awkwardness and fall into a lady's lap, it's reckoned polite to niake a bow and say, "Please ma'am, may 1 trouble you f or that goose again ?" The latest dog story is of two dogs who feil to fighting in a saw mili. In the course of the tussle one of the dogs went plump against a saw in rapid motion, which cut Mm in two instanter. The hind legs ran away, but the fore legs continued the flght and whipped the other dog.