Johnny's Essay On Lions

Once there was a opery man wich l iiired fokes for to sing, he was a goin thra the woods and a lion carne along and luked at hini, and wipped itself with its tail, and sticked its main up, and opened its mowth, and roared fritefle, yu never seen sech bellerinl ! The opery man lie said : "Thats ol rite, 1 consider yuré selluf engaged for the 1 seeson at yuré own terms, but I got to Lie excused now, cos seve teen barry ' tones is waitin for me to hear theirn." And the opery man he walked a way ' mity lifely like he was frade the barry : tones wud bust theirselfs a holding in i the sing fore he cude git there. One time Franky was a suckin the end of a ax handle wich had been sawd off, and Únele Ned he see him a suckin it, and he hollered to me : "Hun quick, Johnny, and pull it out, its too late to save the ax, but the handle will do for to rebuke Mose with, which is the cat, and exort Bildad, that's the new dog, to a better life." A other time Franky was left a sleep sick and father he went in the room for to luke at him, and wen he cum out mother sheast: "Has he got sech a hot fever like he had ?" Then father he sed : "No, not quite, but I guess he wil have agin purty soon, cos he is ausin the fire poker mity vigerously in his inside." An wen mother she went fer to see, Franky was snoim tho bi.vcK end.uut lickerish is the stuff fer me wen it comes to suckn sumthing. Once a man who lived in the woods was cuttin down trees, and he had so many children that lus wife cudent mind 'em all to home, so he tuke the baby with him and laid it on a stump wile he workt. The baby was red heded, and the wood-peckera there is red heded, too, and one was a settin on a libra. Pretty soon the baby begun to cri, and wen the woodpecker see its mouth open and herd it a crine it thot to itself poor thing, were is your ole birds, you mus be offle hungry, lle see if I can do anything for you; and wen the man carne up to the baby to say gitchy, gitchy, gitchy, he see the woodpecker drop a long red wurm in the baby's mouth and ily back to the libm Then the man pull'd out the werm and lookt at the woodpecker and sed my good feller, if you keep a bordin house liere wot is your terms ? Plain A clergyman in Wiltshire was visited by a friend f ruin London,and tho Londen preaoher expressed a desire to preach to the men of AVilts. The country parson at last consented, but honestly told his friend that lie feared his style would lly over the heads of his liearers. YVith many resolves to be "plain," the city parson mounted the pulpit; but soon indeed he asked the people to "draw an inf erence f rom the text." 2iext day the two friends were in the garden togetber, and the gardener passed. 'Thomas," said the vicar, "here is the gentleman who preached. He told us to draw an inference from the text to us yesterday. What do you think he nieantV" "Well, sir," replied the gardener, "I can't exaetly say ; but of this I aiu sure, that, iL there'a a horse in the parish can draw it, 'tia our Blackblrd."