Old Stories

Meeting Major Brereton, the ' dus gambler, in the Pump-room at ' Bath, Sheridan jauntily asked him how lie was. The Major assumed a serious ' expression of face, and said, gravely, "You have not, then, heard of my loss since I last savv you?" -'No," replied Sheridan, "I have not." "Ah," exclaimed the Major, with a sigh of deep dejection, "I have lost my wite!" "Indeed!" replied the incorrigible wit. "And how did you lose her - at hazard or quinzet" Au artist had painted a picture of the b.attle of Waterloo.which the Duke of Wellington bought. As desired, the man of thebrush called upon his Grace for payment, and the Duke proceeded to count out some bank-notes. The artist, anxious tliat the time of the Duke should not be taken up in this manner, suggested that a cheque on his Grace's bankers would be a simpler arrangement. The gracious reply wes, "And do you suppose I would allow Coutts's people to know what a fooi 1 have been '?" This story may not be true, in spite of its inherent probability ; but it ?s said tluit not long since a resident of 1 agara Falla feil off the bridge to fioat Island, and was instan tly swept tothe brink of the awfnl gulf below. There he managed to get hold of a iock, and held on half an liour. A sympathizing crowd ruslied into the house and grounds near by, where the man's wife was hystericully watching the struggles of her unfortunate husband,as that spot affordedthc best view whereupon, from the force of habit, the distracted woman immediately revived svifñciently to charge and eollect one dollar apiece from the crowd for the privilege of viewing the catastrophe from her premises. The following authenticated anecdote inay be appreciated by men of the most opposite ways of thinking: on the Eastern Question. One day Abilul Medjid took a walk with Riza Faaba in the streets of Constantinople, wljen they met some Swiss street-hawkers, whose blue blouses seerued a strauge apparel to the Sultan. "What kind of eople are these?" asked Abdul Mejid. 'They are Switzevs," replied Riza. 'Svvitzers?" What country is theirs?" nquired the Sultan. "It is a small Republic bordering upon Germany and France," was the answer of the Pasha, vvho had some better notions of political geography than his imperial mas ter. "They must be very good people,' Abdul Medjid said musingly; "they keep no ambassador here to worry me." _____ Female Accomplishments- IIow much in modern education is calculated, if not intended, rather to prepare our females to daz.le in the ei iele of fashion and the gay party than to sliine in the retirement of home! To polish the exterior by what are called aeoompliskments seems to be more the object than to give a solid substratum of piety, intelligence, good. sense, and social virtue. Xever was a subject" less nderstood than education. To store the memory with facts, or to cultivate the taste for music, singing, drawinj, languages, and needlework, are the ultimatum with many. The use of the intellect in the vvay of deep reflection, sound judgment, accurate disevimination, is not tauglit as it should be ; while the direction of the will, the cultivation of the heart, and the formation of the character are lamentably negleced. We aak not the sacriflee of anything that can add grace and elegance and ornament to the feminine character; but we do want incorporated with tlüs more of what is masculina in knowledge and wisdom. A clergyman, a widower, recently created a sensation in his household. which consisted of seven grown-up daughlers. The reverend gentleman was absent irom home tor a number of days, visiting in an adjoining county. Tlie daughters received a letter froin their father which stated that he bad "married a widow with six sprightly children," and that he inight be expected home at a certain time. The effect of that news was a great shock to the happy family. The girls, noted for their meekness and aniiable temperaments, seemed another set of be ings; there were weeping and wailiri and tearing of hair. and all mauner o naughty things said. The tidy home was neglected, and whe the day of arrival came the hoi-= was anything but inviting. At Jast the Kev. X. came. but he W!o alone. He greeted his daughters as usual, and, as he viewed t'ie neglected apartments, there was a nierry twinkle in his eye. The daughters were nervous and evidently anxious. At last the eldest mustered courage and asked, "Wliere is our mother ?" "In heaven," said the good man. But where is the wldow with six children which yon wrote yon liad married? "Why, I married her to another man, my dears," he said,"delighted at the success of his joke.