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The Owl Critic

The Owl Critic image
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" Who stufled that white owl?" No onc spoke in the shop; The barber was busy, and he couldn't stop; The customers, waiüng1 thelr turns, were all readbw The Daily, the Ilerald, the Post, little liceclin The youn man who blurted out such a olunt qucstton; Not one raised a head, or even made a sugestión; And the barber kept on sha ving'. " Don't you see, Mister lïrown," Cried the youth, wilha ïrown, "IIow wrön the whole thing; is, IIow prepostcrous each wing is, JIow Üattened the head is, how jammed down the neck is - In short, the whole owl, what an inoraut wreek 'lis; I tnake no Bpologyj I've learned owl-colog-v, Tve passcd days and nights in a hmtdred collections, And cannot be blinded to any defectiohs Arisinjr from unskilltul finecra t i.u taii To stuff a bird rijjht, fiom his be ik to his teil. Mister Brown! Mister lirown! Do take that bird down, Or you'll soon be the laughiu stock all over town! " And the barber kept o;i shavin-. "I've studied owls, And other nif(ht fowls, And I teil you What I know to be truc: An owl cannot roost With his limbs so unloosed; No owl in this world Ever had his claw curled, Kver had his lees slanted, Ever had his bilí cantad. Ever had his neck screwed Into that attitude. Ife can'l dn it, bccause 'Tis against all bird laws. Anatomy teaches, Ornithoíogpy preaches, An owl has a toe That can' i turn out so! Tve made the white owl tny study for years. And to see such a job almost moves iiie to tears! Mr. Brown, I'm amazed You should be so jjone crazed As to put up a bird In that posture absurd! To lonk at that owl really brins on n diz.incss; Iheman who stufled him don't h ilt know his business! ' Aud the barber kept on shavinff. " Examine those eyes, I'm filled with surprise Taxidermists should pasa Off on you such poor glass ; So unnatural they seem Thev'd make Audubon ecreftm, Anu John Burroughs laugh To encounter such chaft'. Do take that bird down ; Have him stuñed apain, Brown!" And the barber kept on shaving. "With some sawdust and bark I could stuff In the dark An owl better than that. I could make an oíd hat Look more like an owl Than that horrid fowL Stuck n p there so stifflike a side of coarfe leather. ín lact, about him there's not one feather." Just then, with a wink and a sly normal lurch, The owl, very Rravely, got down from his perch, Walked round, and regardedhisfault-findinifcri tic (Who tlioujíht he was 8tuffed)with an "lance analytic, " And then iairly hooted, as if he would nay: Your learninr'sat fault this time, anywáy Uon t waste it iigain on a live bird, I p'ray I'm an owl ; you're another. Sir Ci itic, good-day!" And the barber kept on shaving. - James T. Fieldt, n Harper's Magazine. The Demócrata will opon the campaign in Obio early ia August, with speeches by Thurman, Ewing, Rice, Durbin Ward, McMahon, Converse, Hurd, Warner, Pendleton, Steedman, and others. Tho Republicana will open out in July with Garfield, Foster, Taf't, Matthews, Sherman, McKinley, Keiffer, Cox, Gibson, Grosvenor, and others. Speakers frotn other states will be in Ohio by the score on both Eides.


Old News
Michigan Argus