O, What A Hat!

Yes, son, yon are correct. The lirsl time yon wear a stove-pipe hat,every body lookB at yon. Not, as you muy vainly imagine, because you are the first young man who ever wore a stove-pipe nat, lut because it is apparent even to tlie oíd blind man who sita in the back pew, without any cushioii in.away back under the gallery where the poor have the gospel preached at Ihem, tliat it is the lirsl time you ever wore a hat of that description. Your okl f atfier claps one on the back of his bead, puts his hands into his pockets holds Hp his head and walks off down the Btreets in a gale of wind and never tliinks of his hat. Hut yon, son, you pull yours on atthe most graceful angle it can be posed, and you go teetering along,.both hands reaÖy to fly at the it the sllghtest provocation oL the itlieat phantom of a puft of wind. ifou tl'.n't lo -U coini'oitable, son. Your hat íh il mí - '■.' ;' ■ tocóme olí; you ímni)) it against everytmng ;u yema, you rnb it the wrong way when you tiy to brush the dust off it; when you cany it in your hand up the aisle, everybody smiles, because yoi first hold it by the brini and let the crown ti] gracefully over your arm, and by the time you have hit three or four worsliippers in the head with it, you ehange and turn it under yoir arm and try to carry it that way without touching it, and the tirst thing you do in that pose, you put a woraan's eye out witli your elbow. Then wlien you sit down, y ou put the hat on the Hoor, setting it on the brim; a fatal intstake. And then before the sermón is half through, you put your feet on it tliree time9. But never mimi ; you have to learn some time. Only don't imagine that people never saw anything of the kind bef re, because tliey have. And finally, son, if you are only live feet three inchestall, don't think that a hat three feet live inches high improves your appearance, or inakes you look taller. Because it doesn't. It may w ■' you look as though you clerked in a second-hand clothing store, but it doesn't make you look ta'ler. By and hye, when you liave worn a high hat two or three years, you will wear it so naturally that It will become you. But Ihe tirst'tinie- oh, nay son, my son!