There is a well-known gentleman of this city who does business in Aurora, Inü. Ilis place of business and residence are connected by telephone. He has been in the habit of returning every evening on the flve o'clock train, or when press of work detained him, of telephoning his faithf ui better half to that effect. This arrangement was eminently satisfactory until recently. It isn't so now, and this is the why and wherefore : A few days ago Head (we cali him Head because that is a long way from his name) callea up nis wite ana m a troubled tone informed her through the telephone with microphone attachment that he was absolutely overloaded witli business and wouldn't be able to leave untilthe late train. "Yery well, dear," she replied ; "come as soon as you can." Just as he received this message, a friend sitting in the ottïce started up and remarked : "Ilello, Head, there go the Misses Blank that I prornisedto introduce you to." "That so?" said Head, "cali thein in; I would ïike to know them." A moment later and the ladies were introduced, and the overworked Benedict was bowing and smiling and getting off neat littie speeches, something like this: "I am realiy delighted to meet you, ladies. lt is so refreshing to have such pleasant society in our dusty, musty office. The time has been hangine: so wearily on our hands we have absolutely nothing to do." Here the telephone bell began to jingle. "Well, what is it? impatiently asked Mr. Head. Then a sweet voice, in which were blended mild anger and sad reproach, softly murmured over tne wire from the city thirty miles away : "My dear, couldn't you catch that flve o'clock train if you were to try Y" The unhappy young man had been talking in too close proximity to the microphone. - Cincinnati Times. The coal dealers coalesce, and that is the reason we can't coal less expensively.