Most often it takes someone who knows you thoroughly to bring you white roses, even though your beauty would melt there courage. I know the sight of the roses would make your smile shine no matter how infuriated you were. I imagine as you open this letter you gentle face will be knotted and go in a deep struggle to link this face to the name on the cover. Please don’t feel guilty for not knowing my name, I am nobody many people have told me that but I never knew if you were of those people. We have not been formally introduced.
I always had a feeling you were a major part of my life. I miss your smile that kept me warm in the cold dark shadows of my disappointing house that always seem to trap me in their inexplicable wall patterns. It’s already been two weeks since you smiled at me. The last time you smiled at me was on the dusty trails of an unknown path that we had taken to school. I remember that you had on the special rose that I had gave you in your hair. You were wearing a white dress that brings out the color of your eyes that looked like golden brown moon shining over my earth. You were also wearing a yellow top that made your hair glisten in the luxurious sunlight. You had brightened the dusty trails with broken down abandon houses with just a smile.
It was hilarious how you would glare around searching for a sign of your father before you leap out of the window and continued on your path. It seems like you were crazy enough to go where ever your curiosity would take you, and I was crazier for following your blinding eyes surrounded by your light skinned glory. I used to look forwards to those moments as if they were the essentials that kept me breathing. Every day I would go home hoping it wasn't my last day because I wanted to see you smile again. I dreamed of how I would gain the courage to finally go up to your father and ask you out.
Today I write to apologize jasmine for even you name I learned in the most inappropriate manner. It was when I stared at you and you didn't stare back. You, for the first time did not speak a word. You had dust on you and didn't dare to look my way. It was on my way back from school and you wanted something to do but, I had to go back to my prison cell of a room and finish my homework and get intimidated by my brothers. As you walk me home you decided that you wanted to go adventure even if it was on your own. I suggest that you should stay with me and check out the walls that we had painted yellow to chase away the darkness, yet you still disagreed. When we went our separate ways and I couldn't see your shadow for much longer, then I decided to go find you along the trails.
When I found you your smiled said hi yet your eyes said “save yourself, run now.” It was like your eyes had a mind of its own. I ask you what was wrong but the only thing that answered were the silence of your spirt that looked disappointed. I felt a sign of betrayal and that something was going to go terribly wrong. A man walk up behind you looking like an over protected body guard. He looked like he was out to complete a mission. His dangerous hand shook in fright because he had startled among my face. He gave me a confusing glace that told me to get away. He smelled like coffee and energy drink, like he had too much to drink. He had four gun holsters like a cop that was probably what he was. He looked very dangerous, in fact he smelled a little like intimidation. “Run away or your friend dies,” he said promptly. Worried I took my loaded bag and ran away frighten. “I am a wimp I can’t even stand up for myself how would I be able to stand up for a friend.” I felt my conscious tugging me and tell to turn around. Then a quickly figured that you were always playing jokes on me maybe that was one of you “funny” jokes. I turn as told and went back to the spot but you were not to be found. As I look in the far distance I saw a warehouse and assume that you were hiding in it. “Wow she must think I’m an idiot” I thought to myself.
I open the heavy steel warehouse door that creeps and squeaks like a mouse. The darkness of the warehouse hit me repeatedly. It was alarming that I had to walk to the light switch. I walk into the door in search of the lights. A frightening sight blinded my eyes. Closing my eyes afraid of what would happen next I keep them close. I open my eyes to see the same thing again. Chills ran down my spine paralyzing my brain into what I had seen.
There were so many beautiful young ladies who had been badly bruised, beaten and killed but not all of them had a red rose in their hair. The bruises on your face carved my heart finding sadness, despite, anger and frustration. Why would anyone do this to young innocent girls? My heart weep as the tear fell from my face, unstoppable. Guilt killed my heart and dragged my soul. I felt my life falling on my head, for all the year I knew her I was still a stranger I didn't bother asking her name I thought It would be longer. My good day rotted with the sight starting my memories.
Jasmine I hope you can find it in your hart to forgive me for I have failed you. Tear fall out my eyes like a running stream. Please do not cast your anger upon me. I promise I will find the person who did this they will pay and they will suffer but it will take patients. I won’t let anyone else die because of a misunderstood person. Forever your name would be carved into my heart and engraved in my memory. I promise to be courageous to outcast the enemy. I will not let you down; I write this letter with tears in my swollen eyes. I tell you I love you and I will always remember you for the beautiful person you were. Let your spirt be with me through all time. May you rest in peace R.I.P.
Mother you know since jasmine died it’s been a great depression for me. Mom I want to pour out my heart to you, since you died my father has not been anything but a burden on my back constantly bugging me about how I am a failure and I won’t go anywhere. Since jasmine died I really felt that he was right and that jasmine is a shame of me. Every time I flash back to that moment I shiver with tears. I have learned to stop crying about it but the tear and the fear just strike me like a cobra. I am the weakest of all people of me people take advantage of me in every way. I have let a lot of people down since I was born. But that is going to change. No more walking around with my head hanging down of failure. My skinny and tall body hovers over people that are younger than me but they still take advantage of me and walk all over me.
I have made a decision that I will no longer stay in the house with my father. My 17 year old body can no longer take the beating of my enraged father. I've stayed quiet all my life and listen to others people suggestions but now it’s time to make my own decisions. I’m done with life with my father now it’s time for everyone to see the real me especially jasmine. My promise will be fulfill to jasmine and I will succeed no matter how much I fall. Justice is for all people, of all race and religion and jasmine needs it most right now. I will find the creature that killed her and justice will be established. Mom I love and this is for the best for justice for you and jasmine I love you with all my heart and everyone who didn't get justice will pay. If I want the world to change and have justice it must start with me.
“Dad my decision is to leave the house because I can’t take it no more, you say you love me but the only thing you ever do is beat me. Mother always told me that love is when someone sacrifices there life for your. You certainly do not do that for me so I won’t let you bruise my body. Instead I will go off and leave this house to find who kill jasmine,” I said frighten.
“What you think I don’t make sacrifices for you. If I didn't make sacrifices for you do you think you would be here? You are a slow dumb weak boy and now you think you are a man and you want to leave my house don’t you dare bring this topic up anymore.”
So you’re mad because I want to be a man I thought that I needed to be a man to be able to live in your house, and if you are I true man then I don’t want to be a man. I never told mom that you cheated on her and you would beat her for no reason. I don’t want to …..”He cut me off with one of his powerful slaps that shook all my teeth.
“Do no talk to me like that your mother was a crazy women and she didn't take control so I went to a women who did. She would run her mouth about the money she didn't get but she never did anything to earn that money.”
Anger push me forwards and all of a sudden my hand ball out and I said “she was loyal to you and she loved you there is no reason you should open your mouth and TALK ABOUT HER.” He strike again and aimed for my stomach. My guts stirred as his punch damage my inside like rotten meat; I still did not say a word. I saw his hand go up aiming for my face again but I grabbed his hand just in time and twisted it. With his other hand he stretched for my shirt and pulled me. I stared to aim to I punch to his face but the courage I had build was gone. I can’t hit my dad I thought but the punch was for my mom that he killed. “I yelled stop what the point”
At this moment there was no point he was going to beat me and I was going to look down and feel bad for the rest of my life.
“Your right there is no point take you dirty unclean self and leave the house you got 1 minute or you will die right there after all I don’t care for you. You’re not even my son I just had to put up with this, because of your mom. Seems to me like that’s all you had.
“And you took her away. You are a mindless hurting creature that will do anything to get there way. You are not even a person, If you knew that all a had Why did you take it from me you killed her and you use me to cover it. You used every lie in the book to get away with this. I’m done,” I jumped swiftly across the room leaving the law of gravity nothing but false. Tear pulp down my eye, blood ran down my face, shivers wiggle down my spine. I no longer had control of my body. I tackled him to his week knees as the anger pushed my hand balling it into a fist and setting it off it into the air. My hand hit his dreary face and I didn’t feel bad for him not a moment.
As I walk alone though the cold winter breeze, the wind was like scissors tearing though my jacket and piercing my think dark skin. My heart was pounding with fear, if I go back to my father after he seen me leave then it will show weakness in which I won’t allow. The thin air seems to thicken in a matter of seconds and the streets was all of a sudden quiet without a beep of a car. The again the wind hit my back as If it were punch my dad would often though at me if I was trying to protect my mom after, he beat her into a bloody pulp. He hit mother so hard her blood vessels clog. She could no longer speak or do work she was paralyzed when emotions. One sunny day I woke up and went to her room and found her on the untouched on the floor.
I snapped out of my flash back when I heard a honk of a rusty car. I noticed that I was slowly walking into the dark road. My chest collapsed with fear knowing that I was unable to help myself get out of this situation. The car came speeding directly towards me as if it was meant to hit me. My life came hurdling over me to a complete halt. In my head I kept repeating my promise to jasmine and how I failed her. The car smashed into my left foot numbing it completely. At that point I thought I was died. My foot was flatten leaving bloody marks on my calf. Even though the pain shocked up my leg up to my head leaving me in misery all I felt was failure. I close my eyes to only realize that it was the last time for me
With my eyes still close expecting to die in a few quick seconds, I see the red rose that I gave jasmine. The one that brought me happiness and joy during the morning and brought me sorrow and agony during the night, unfortunately it was night. Opening my eyes in doubt that I was still alive a saw a bush of red roses and I realize at that point the only person that could save me was myself.
I got a chance to accomplish my promise. Briefly taking short breaths as the pain thrust though my leg. I got up on one foot and held my enabled leg with my hand and drag myself down the roadside. I knew there was a local hospital near. I doubted that I was going to be able to walk that far without a leg. As soon as that thought filled my head I fell. I notice that It was about how much faith that I had just like the weak if I fell a million times I would rise a million times. My strength relies on my faith if I believe it then I can do it. As I walk the pattered continues but I got myself up.
With my stomach grumbling of the lack of food I approach the hospital with a sign of relive as if it was heaven I entered. The whole way the pain taunted me, but now it felt like the best thing ever. I enter the bright light of the hospital to see a sea of people but not one doctor among them. As a glared I see a familiar face but cannot recognize it. It seems as if my face stumbled his thought. He looks back and all of a sudden anger and sadness approach me and I realize he was the man that killed jasmine. There was another man with him but I hadn't justified the face yet. The nurse approaches me with a student in training, all of a sudden all eyes were on me. Questions after questions, doctors after doctor. One Question finally got my attention, the voice dance in the air like a ballerina and asked
“When are your parents, I am a student in training and I need to know this.” This was bombarded with series of other question in the mix I heard that her name was Lucy. Then I voice replied that my Son. He ruins the angelic flow of her beauty and voice. I fell from the lost of blood and unconsciousness hit me. I could no longer see anything.
I wake up not knowing what happen, kind of like being drunk. My clothes were on their chairs and there were tubes here and there. I see a clipboard that has my name on it and it said “Lucy will be right with you” that kind brought happiness to my day even though the only thing I remember is her voice. The clip board also marks December 28, 1984 – January 3, 1985. Was that how long I was in her? A voice at the door said “Can I come in please” I had no time to think I just replied in “yes enter.” I felt like I king telling the servants what to do and at that moment a wonder if I was on laughing gas because I sounded more stupid that usually. The person walked in. She had short curly hair to match her colorful bouncy outfit. Her smile glided across the room.
“Hello I’m Lucy, Hope you remember me from last time you fell on the ground,” she said with a gentle smile.
“Actually I didn't remember you because you voice was all I remembered.”
“Yea it’s okay. So can you tell me your age, name, and social security number?”
“Yes I can”
“That was nice to know, my name is Jamarion August or you can call me your new boyfriend, I’m turning 18 on the 4th of January and my social security number is,” he continued.
“Wow you happier than most of these people in the hospital.” I didn't have a response to say back I think my jokes may have been a little too much but on the other hand this was better that usually days I had.
“Jamarion, I forgot you have a visitor.” She left the room quietly.
“Jamarion, how you doing,” the voice shook me from my thoughts. “Remember me, because I sure remember you. I remember you leaving my house after I provide you with everything you needed. And guess what I also have something you would want to see.” It was my dad or the one I that I thought was my dad. What would he be doing here what does he have to show me. The curiosity killed me. I wanted to know what it was that he had for me.
“What are you doing here, are you here to put me down like you always did, I didn't leave your house for you to follow me. I don’t need you.
“Its fine you don’t need me but I just thought you should know, the man you were mad at because he killed Jasmine…” I cut him off I didn't want to hear him put me down once again.
“Yes, he killed her are you here to put me down about that.
“No, that not even necessary. He was your father, and guess, what he never killed her. He took her away from you because he knew that she never had friends for one reason, she would kill them then the ones they love. She is not even dead; he shifts her off far away from you so you would feel protected.
“Why didn't he ever talk to me?”
“He didn't want you to see him the way he was, but now you can’t see him at all. The night you fainted in the hospital she was there to. Only it had been too late, you were already in the room. She stabbed you father who had came to see you and come forwards.” A tear burned down my eyes.
“What about the rose that I gave her that was in her hair?”
“OH the rose, I planted it there, it was a way for your father to look like the bad guy. Also all the girls you saw none was real. It took a lot of money but I pulled it off. All of it was make up and clay.”Lucy said. I was astonished by the fact that I really liked Lucy, mix emotions teased me. “I killed you father and I was trying to kill you other dad to but it was too late. So I disguise myself as your nurse. The hospital has been wired and a bomb goes off in now seconds nice knowing you.
“Jamarion I love you.” Dad said
“I love you too.”