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-Toxic Intentions


The sirens screeched through my mind, louder than my own screams.Tears gushing out of my eyes, like acid burning on my skin. I plunged to my knees and let out a piercing plea,Daddy! Only, I knew my daddy was gone.  


It’s funny when you, yourself know you’re crazy. But no one believes you.The voices suddenly grow more frequently and angrier than before. Knowing Not only have I lost my father but I have lost my mind. My father was my only Savior and now he is gone. Who can save me now? Will I ever find true happiness? The past few months I struggle with my own demons. Trying to find a reason, Why am I here?

This is all mom’s fault, if she wouldn't have left us so long ago dad would have never done this to himself.I said.But I knew it wasn't her fault, Dad had his own problems. A priest came to my grandma’s house. He said what my dad did was a selfish act.He didn't even know my father, “How can you say something like that”!I screamed at him. My rage grew stronger, Not just against the world but at “God.” Losing your father is Hard but, it’s worse when you are only fourteen and trying to find yourself.


My heart is hurting,It feels like someone is stabbing me with a freezing cold knife.The moon howls at me, as if the moon itself feels the loss and pain I do.Why does why throat hurt so much? With that instant thought My eyes were pouring like a fountain flushing water to the bottom of a well.As I lay my head down I drift into a deep sleep.I imagined myself going into a sleep that can never be broken. It is now a battle with me and my own dreams. Shimmering white lights and a smile. Whose smile is that? She seems so happy, chill. It’s me. I can see myself smiling, laughing. But why is this light so bright.Who am I with? I see two men but the light is so bright I can't see who. The smokey glistening light fades away.It’s my father, but why is he with my friend Brian? He will take care of you, He loves and needs you just as you do for him.I woke up, and thought for a while.Brian was the son of my dad’s best friend. We always had a connection… An unspoken connection…It’s the legacy. My father and his friend had always said me and Brian would be together.I couldn't take it anymore.That dream was a sign.I need to do something about it,But what?I suddenly got the urge to text Brian.“Hey It’s Savannah,I was just thinking we should hang out sometime…” “Yeah totally, I really miss you, you should talk to me more!” He responded.And from there I found what I was searching for.Me and Brian talked for hours. And I knew my dad sent me a message through my dreams. The message that saved my life, with or without Brian. I saw my daddy.


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