Jordanna, half a million followers on twitter, quarter of a million followers on instagram. She has thousands of fan accounts and her own clothing line with her @ name stamped on all of her clothes, “J0rDannuH.” She has her daily follow sprees and the weekly q & a. She’s perfect in every single way. I found her twitter when she only had like 1,000 followers. I liked her way before she was cool; I know the real her. I found her Youtube channel when I first started the 6th grade, and she changed my life. She talked about how to handle middle school, first day outfits, makeup tutorials, and how to talk to boys. Her Youtube channel was like, my guide through the sixth grade. She was in the 8th grade when I started middle school, so she was much older. I looked up to her, she was my older sister. She was so cool, she was always ahead of the trends and listened to cool music like One Direction. She blew up when I was in the 7th grade. I don’t know what happened. I loved that people knew about her, but she was mine first. These people think they know Jordanna, when they don’t, I do. She’s changed a little cause of all of her fans, but it’s okay; she’s still perfect.
I bought two of her sweaters, a phone case, and Jordanna sweatpants. They’re definitely worth the price. Fifty dollars for 100% cotton sweatpants. That’s like a steal. AND her name goes down the leg. Oh, they’re also cuffed at the bottom and they come in great colors. Mine is galaxy print because I like being different.
On January 15th, 2011, she favorited my tweet. The summer of 2013 was the best summer of my life because she retweeted my tweet that said “Jordanna forever.” October 24th, 2013 was the best day of my life. I’ll never forget what happened that day. Jordanna was having a following spree at 8 o’clock that day, and I completely forgot. My phone was dead and I had no way of tweeting her. I was with my mom at the mall and I begged her to let me borrow her phone but she was annoyed with me because I was freaking out. She doesn’t understand. Jordanna was doing a following spree! Like hello. I might have a shot. So I gave up on her and brilliantly thought of going to the Apple Store to use their computers. I ran to the computer with my hands shaking like I had Parkinson’s. I tried logging into my twitter like three times and I was freaking out because my password wasn’t working. My hands were slamming on the keys. I was so frustrated. What did I do to deserve this? Why god? Why me? I’m a good kid. Then I realized that the caps lock was on, but whatever. I was still upset. It was already fifteen minutes after she tweeted she was doing a following spree. I had no chance. Why even bother?
After 180 tweets in 5 minutes, my prayers were answered. I got a follow back from Jordanna. When it happened I nervously checked my notifications and clicked her account to make sure it wasn’t a fan account, because it’s happened to me multiple times before and I didn’t want to cry myself to sleep again. I slowly clicked her account scanning, looking for that one beautiful blue checkmark. When my eyes met that checkmark... relief flooded over me like a wave.
The next thing I had to do was DM her until she finally answered me. At first, it was just a few heart emojis. Then I decided to tell her how much I love her. After three hours, I decided to just message her and tell her about myself. I then started talking about how amazing it would be if she did a meet and greet. I spammed that about 300 times because if I met her my life would be complete. My heart stopped when she followed me, so I can’t even imagine how I would be if I met her.
After DMing her every single day for two months, she finally replied to me. I was still telling her I wanted her to do a meet and greet and she replied saying she was doing one in LA in October 15th. I live in San Diego. It’s only a two hour drive so that’s not too bad, but I don’t have a car. The 15th lands on a Friday and it’s an all day event. I want to be with Jordanna all day, not just for three hours. I need to meet her.
I had two weeks to convince my mom to take me to meet my idol. I started off calmly, telling her an angel was going to be visiting LA soon.
“MOOOOOM! MOM! Oh my god! Okay. So. MOM. I love you. Have I told you that today? Cause I really do. Anyways. So my idol... You know... Jordanna? Yeah! Okay. So she’s gonna be in LA in two weeks. And you know, LA is only two hours and eight minutes away. So, it’s not that bad.”
“When?”
“It’s in October.”
“ What day, honey?”
“It’s, um, October 15th.”
“You have school and I have to work. No.”
“MOM. PLEASE. I need to meet her. She completes me. She’s so great, look, I’ll show you all her videos. I have all her clothes. Mom, come on. It’s even free. All my friends are going.”
I lied. My friends were in the same situation I was in. After 15 minutes of begging, I began to cry. My crocodile tears didn’t work. My mom dismissed me and went back to watching The Bachelor.
I began looking up how much it would cost to take the bus, taxi, or an Uber to LA. Uber was obviously the cheapest, but I’m 13 and I’m kind of scared to ride with a stranger for two hours.
When Jordanna DM’ed me back, I obviously screenshotted it and posted it on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I was flooded with replies, favorites, and retweets from a bunch of fan accounts. I scrolled through all the replies of heart emojis and crying emojis and looked for my friends replies. I texted them in a massive group chat and tried to figure a plan out together to see how we could meet our angel.
There were eight of us and we all were freaking out and begging our parents, but they all said no. We just decided we’d take an Uber after all and miss school. It was better than just taking an Uber alone and it was eight of us. We’ll be okay. I never miss school anyway so it won’t be a big deal.
It was finally the day; October 15th, the day I’ll never forget. I woke up bright and early, put on my cutest tumblr outfit, did my winged eyeliner perfectly, and had my eyebrows done. They were on fleek. My mom always leaves the house before me anyway, so I was all set. My friends and I were all meeting each other at the Starbucks two blocks away from my house. We all lived pretty close to each other so it was fine.
We met at 7:30 and all ordered our venti caramel frappucinos, because we needed energy for the rest of the day. We had enough cash for two Starbucks drinks. So we were set for now and later, after we met Jordana. We Instagrammed our drinks and then called the uber. It was going to be around $100 but I had a Visa giftcard that had $100 so we were good cause none of us had actual credit cards. We asked for a nice minivan so we could all have room and relax on the two hour drive.
The eight of us got into the creepy white van, sat down, and just waited. The guy didn’t say anything and quickly began driving. After five minutes he came out of nowhere and said,
“I’m not a rapist, I’m just using this van cause I take all my kids to soccer and I dropped them off.”
We were all freaking out for a little, but we got over our fear of getting abducted and started Instagramming and Snapchatting everything. I forgot I had my little sister on Snapchat at the time, so I kept snapping away.
We made it to LA around 10 and waited for the rest of the group to show up. There were already like a hundred or two hundred people there waiting. I didn’t want them to get in my way. I’m short I can’t see her if everyone is in front of me. Jordanna said she would meet everyone at 11. At 10:45 everyone was freaking out and chanting even though we still had 15 more minutes. I was Snapchatting the whole crowd and once 11 came around I was already at 10% battery and so were my friends. I didn’t have a charger, but she came out and I was so excited I didn’t care if I drained my battery on her.
When she came out, she was just as perfect as I thought she would be. Her winged eyeliner was so perfect, her hair so straight, her flannel was perfectly wrapped around her waist. And her eyebrows, my god, they were drawn on so perfectly. They were so thick and dark. I love how natural they looked next to her bleach blonde hair. I loved her style the most. She was wearing all black and had her red flannel and combat boots on. She’s so unique, ugh, I wish I could be like her.
I took so many pictures of her and at 11:05 my phone died. I didn’t care. Until she finally came down and was right next to me. I wanted to take a picture with her but I couldn’t because my phone died and so were all my friends. I was freaking out and begged her to use her phone to take a picture of us and she said no.
“No, I’m not gonna take pictures with ALL of you guys and post ALL of your pictures on Instagram. That’s not my job. You should’ve charged your phone. My phone isn’t for you to use.”
I was so angry with her. Why was my idol being such an asshole? She took pictures with a few people and signed some autographs and then after four hours decided that was enough and decided to leave. How could she be so selfish?
My friends all decided to go to Starbucks since it was right there and we all needed to recharge. We all ordered our caramel fraps and sat down, reliving what just happened. None of us were happy. She was such a jerk she didn’t even want to take a picture with me and she only hung out with us for four hours. Like what is her deal? Her fans love her so much and she treats everyone like garbage. We hated her. This trip was a waste of time and money.
After five minutes of talking badly about Jordanna at Starbucks, she walked in. I still loved her so I freaked out a bit and then summoned up the courage to talk to her. I went up to her as she was having her caramel frap (we’re so alike) and asked her if she remembered me.
“Oh god, please just leave me alone. I’m not going to take pictures with you. Like the meet and greet is over. Just stop.”
My heart broke into a million pieces. How could I have loved such a monster? I walked back to my seat, holding back tears. My friends stared at me, surprised at what they just heard. If only our phones were alive so we could Snapchat her and talk shit about her. I hated her and it was my goal to make everyone hate her.
It was around 4:30 and we all decided we wanted to go home, but we had a little issue. We didn’t have any more money. Oh, and our phones were still dead. We all started freaking out and crying cause none of our parents knew and we were two hours away from home. I couldn’t miss a call from my mom. I would die. I started asking everyone at Starbucks if they had a charger, but they were all using theirs. I explained to them what happened and they just thought I was some stupid little girl obsessed with Instagram, which is totally not the case!
One man finally felt bad and let me use his charger and his phone so I could call my mom. I should’ve waited to call her cause she had no idea I was gone until I called her from a random number.
She didn’t freak out. I was surprised. I mean I was two hours from home and I did skip school. Like it was scary. Why isn’t she mad. I never miss school ever. I asked her if she can pick up me and my friends and she said of course. She was being so nice. Maybe she finally realized how much this meant to me.
It sucks that I called her at like 4:45, cause that’s when rush hour traffic starts. And LA has the worst traffic ever. My mom made it to LA at 9 and picked us all up with a smile. I was beginning to get worried.
We got home at like 11:30 after dropping everyone off. My mom let me have dinner and then I went to my room to go to bed to go to sleep. I was exhausted. Then she stormed in and started freaking out. She knew I was out since like 11, because of my sister. She was worried all day and called me about a hundred times, but I couldn’t answer because my phone was dead. She was yelling at me all night and at the end of her speech she asked me if it was worth it. I said no because it wasn’t and because I hate Jordanna. And then came the awful “I told you so.”
The next speech I received was the “I’m always right” speech. She knows what’s best for me blah blah blah. Then she finally got to what my punishment was going to be. I just expected to be grounded for the rest of my life and I was okay with that.
“You’re deleting your instagram and twitter.”
My heart dropped. I didn’t expect this. I can’t live without instagram and twitter. How am I supposed to be updated on my favorited viners and youtubers? I’ll be behind on everything and not know what’s going on. This is awful. I can’t. That was the first time I ever said no to my mother. And then the worst thing that ever happened to me... happened.
She took my phone away. For two weeks. Two weeks without updates on anyone and being locked away from society all because of stupid Jordanna. I hate her so much. She’s stupid. I blocked her the second I got my phone back. I threw away all her clothes and blocked all the fan accounts. I grew up from this experience. Now I only like the Vine boys, because I’m more mature now. I don’t follow Youtubers, they’re stupid.