Confusion

    As I wake up from a coma that I didn't know happened I say. “What is this place?” I walk around for a little bit and I see no one’s here, so I do what I do when I'm scared I close my eyes and cry. You see I'm not brave or courageous or anything like that. I’m a freak, a coward, some might say I’m a mistake of nature and they’re right. I do nothing right, I can't even make one friend. But then I see something I so I say “hellllllo.” As I stutter. “Who or what are you.” as I look at it I realize it is me but when I was younger.

I'm 15 now but this was when I was 6 and it looked like the time I was getting picked on at the old playground. I was just sitting there when these kids came over and called me a freak for reading and for not hanging out with friends. Then all I said was “I don’t have any.” Then my face sunk at the memory of those kids beating me up and hurting me. I just turned and ran I ran from my old self and my old life but there was something ahead. It was my only friend, when I was 7, and his name was Pat. He was a dog but one day my parents said he ran off but I think it died. Then I sat down and found a piece of paper and I started writing something down but I can't write what I feel. So I sit there and feel hungry so I walk around abit looking for the cafeteria. as I say I'm hungry I find an apple what was weird since there was no food . But I didn't argue I was hungry. After that I sat down for a bit to calm down and think to think of what has happened. There’s no one here and I just want to go home and once I say that some how I’m at home. I have no idea how but i’m happy and again no ones home I yell for my mom and dad but no ones home. I just want my family.

“Franky honey were home” I yell and jump in my parents arms and say “mom,dad! wait where’s peter.” then again something weird happens I was thinking of the terrible things that was happening to me in the hospital and it all came back to me. It was happening again. I screamed and yelled as I run in a circle of nothingness. and bad dream’s wait everything stopped. I stop and think of what happened and what I said a bad dream I'm in my dream. No that can’t be real how would I be in a dream I feel perfectly awake. I pinch myself to see if I’m sleeping and nothing happens “I’m so confused.” I yell “I don’t know what to do anymore.” I lay there thinking to myself what to do what to do over and over again. And then I realize usually I would have gave up but I’m I wonder then I find out if this is a dream and I think of something scary it comes true and know I can’t stop thinking of scary things. And then I see it the closet monster I use to think was real and know it is I run but its fast so I cut corners and hide in a hole. As it walks by me when I'm hiding in a crack its razor sharp claws hit the wall and make a ear bleeding noise and its fangs drip blood its back full of cuts and gouges of skin. Then it hits me again I thought of it as me different from the rest of the monsters always getting picked on and beat up and as I say that it forms into me walking with a hunch hands over my eyes tears dripping from his face blood from his arms and rest of his body. He fell and I don’t know why but I ran out to help him up and I his face and all I see is me “pathetic.” I say “Just pathetic.” I sit there looking at my unconscious body with him turning white as milk from blood lost and then I see the monster pass in my arms.

I would have never ever thought to see myself pass in my arms. But that never happened to me I never got picked on that much so it must have just been what I pictured the monster but I don’t cry I have no idea why my tear ducts must be dry. But after that I walk with the thought of myself passing in my own arms and I can’t go on I fall to my knees like someone took a baseball bat to the back of my leg then frequently slammed it to my leg and I sit there laying on my stomach exhausted to fits end.

    So I lay with my leg and arms given up but not my spirit I stand up with the little bit of power I have left and I walk I don’t know where I’m going but I walk and go as far as I can then a little more and I don’t know where I am but its a dead end and a door I walk to it I open it and my eyes are shocked my parents were there the ones who left me on a door step but it was them doing that my mom wouldn’t let go and my dad had tears rolling from his cheek to the floor. Why are they crying they abandoned me but then I hear them my mom said “this is the best for him.” then my dad say “I know and one day he will to.” I see a door open I walk toured it and I see my foster mom she was reading a letter as she cries I walk in to the light and I grab the note it said.

dear mrs.payder

We have known you for awhile and you know are son is born but sadly we can't take care of him we wish we could but we have caught Kuru  rare disease why we were traveling to New Guinea there is no known cure and we are going to die we have 2 weeks its eating us from the inside out and we are leaving the country before we infect more people we thank you Goodbye.

After that I wake from the dream then right after and I tracked down where my parents were buried It was in a remote island in the middle of the pacific ocean and I say to myself “I wonder how they caught and why they went to New Guinea.” so I sat down and then I see a piece of paper the one from my dream and I find out I'm still in the dream so I walk to my living room and my parents they’re there they are sitting on the couch I can’t believe it I run up try to hug them but I run right through them I yell at myself. Why please why would you do this to me this is the first time I have seen them in person and I can’t even hug them. I can’t hold it in anymore “god dammit why why why.” I need to see them but because of this stupid dream I can't. “I’m done wake me up.” I scream and as I say those words I wake up from a dream I thought was real. I go to my foster mom and say “I know now why I was left by my parents I just have one question how did they catch it...”