Office Party
Thursday was a very excitable person. He found everything to be exciting in some
way, be it a party, an excursion somewhere, or simply watching a movie. His friend,
Friday, was a goofball, always having fun. Even in situations in which they had to talk to
Monday, who was exceedingly grumpy at all times. Today was one of those situations
where Monday called them into his office.
“I need you two to go find Sunday. She’s had another mental breakdown and ran off into
the park. I’m bringing in Saturday to finish her work, he may be lazy but he’s a smart
guy.”
“You got it Monday, we’ll find Sunday.” Thursday said excitedly.
Once Thursday and Friday had left Wednesday walked into Monday’s office.
“Hey boss, I wanted to show you these papers, how ya been?”
“Not too good Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday have been frustrating the heck out of
me. I don’t know what to do about them.”
“Well, Monday” Wednesday mused “Tell them to either shape up, or ship out.”
Thursday and Friday strode into the elevator and descended to the drab first floor
where they found Tuesday, the dry and boring receptionist. Friday walked up to Tuesday
to ask her if she had seen Sunday.
“Hey Tuesday, have you seen Sunday? Monday wants us to find her, says she ran off into
the park.”
“I saw her running out the door after coming out the elevator, probably to the park like
Monday said. I tried to get her attention, but nobody ever pays attention to me-“
Before she could go on a tangent about how miserable she was Friday and Thursday had
already left the building for the park across the street. They crossed the street over to the
park and began looking for Sunday. After a lengthy search they managed to find her
sleeping up in the big Banyan tree at the middle of the park.
“Sunday! There you are.” Thursday said up to the branches. “How did you get up there?”
Sunday, being asleep, did not respond and continued to snore away up in the
Banyan tree.
“Sunday!!” Friday yelled up to the trees. “Wake up!”
In her surprise Sunday nearly fell out of the tree.
“I climbed up here, to get away from all that work I’ve gotta do. I had taken one look at
the big stack of papers at my office when I got in today and I couldn’t do it. I really
should have done it earlier, in increments, to make it easier.”
“Do you think you can come down from there?” Friday asked. “Monday says that he’s
got Saturday doing all your work, and you know that’s unfair.”
“It’s too overwhelming! Don’t make me go back to the office.”
“It’ll be fine. I’m sure that Saturday can still help you with all the work that you’ve got.”
“Fine, I’ll come down.”
Sunday carefully clambered down the tree to the waiting Thursday and Friday. When she
got down they escorted her back across the street, into the office building, and into
Monday’s office to find him chewing out Saturday for not doing the work that he was
told to do. He was a lazy guy like Monday had said.
“You never do any of the work I tell you to do!” Monday shouted. “All you do all day is
sit in the lounge wasting all the time you’ve got! I don’t even know why I pay you
anymore.”
“You do know that Sunday doesn’t do any work whatsoever too, right? Why are you
targeting me? In fact, I think I do more work than she does.” Saturday argued.
“This has nothing to do with Sunday, Saturday. It has to do with your near zero rate of
productivity. I want you to start working, or you’re fired!” Monday retorted.
Thursday cut in, “Monday? We found Sunday.”
“Finally! Someone actually works around here. Sunday, I need you to finish your work
pronto! No more delays, do you understand? Or you’re fired too!”
“Yes.” Sunday sighed. “I’ll go confront that terrifying mountain of work.”
“Don’t act like it’ll kill you. Just go finish it.”
Sunday walked out of the office back to where she had to suffer through the
paperwork.
Monday looked back to Saturday,
“Look, just get out of my office and go do your work.”
“Fine” Saturday grumbled, and he stalked off, annoyed.
Monday turned to Thursday and Friday once he was sure that Saturday was gone.
“I can’t take Saturday and Sunday anymore! They never do their work and, on top of that,
they cause problems that we have to deal with instead of working. We need to get rid of
the weekend, hire someone else.”
“But Monday,” Thursday interrupted “everybody loves Saturday and Sunday! How
would we get rid of them?”
“I know, Thursday. I want you two to follow these instructions exactly; Make them look
bad. None of us are going to cover for them anymore. Whenever they whine about all the
work they let pile up, don’t help them.”
Friday interjected “Won’t getting rid of them make more work for everybody else? How
would we make up for that? Plus, with so much work to do, how would we ever get a
break?”
“You two spend so much time covering for them and fixing their mistakes, that getting
rid of them will save time.”
“Understood sir.” Thursday and Friday said in unison.
Saturday had returned to his cubicle and put his feet up on his desk, he was too
good to work, who could make him? All he had to do was pretend to work when he heard
the heavy footsteps of Monday, he could relax as long as he wanted to. Saturday heard
the footsteps of Wednesday and, thinking they were Monday’s, hurried to show he was
working. Wednesday peeked over the wall of Saturday’s cubicle.
“Hey man, Monday wanted me to check up on you, see if you’re working.”
“Oh of course I’m working,” Saturday hurried to clarify. “Just finishing up this paper.”
“Alrighty then. I’ll let’cha finish that up. See you around.”
Wednesday left the cubicle and Saturday relaxed, he would be fine. Wednesday
rounded the corner to Sunday’s cubicle where she was sleepily attempting to draw her
mind off of her phone and stop procrastinating. Wednesday reminded her to keep
working and left to Monday.
“Hey boss, I checked up on them like you said, and Saturday looked like he was
pretending to work, at least to me, and Sunday was on her phone.”
“Thanks Wednesday,” Monday sighed “you can go work now.”
Afterwards Saturday’s and Sunday’s work slowly piled up, left unchecked on
their desks. Then, the offices were visited by January. He went to Monday’s office.
“Monday, what is the meaning of this? I’ve received reports that nothing is getting done
here! Why has this happened?”
“Well you see, sir. Two of my employees, Saturday and Sunday, have not been doing
their share of work here. The papers on their desks simply pile up to no end!”
“I don’t have time for this Monday, I have a meeting to attend. But at 2 o’clock sharp I
want you to meet me in my top office.”
And with that, January left to his meeting. All day Monday sat at his desk,
nervous, until
it was nearly time to meet with January. Is he going to fire me? Monday thought as he
exited his own office. He ran into Wednesday in the hallway.
“Hey boss,” Wednesday casually said, “why do you look so nervous?”
“It’s nothing,” Monday said quickly, “just going to a meeting. Don’t worry about it.”
“You got it boss.”
Monday continued onto the elevator where he found the list of floors on the wall
with one
on the top and thirty-one on the bottom. He rode the elevator up to the highest floor,
where January’s office was placed. He exited the elevator to a long hallway with
January’s office at the end. He entered the office and sat at a seat in front of January’s
desk.
“You see Monday,” January began “I used to be the new guy here, a very long while ago,
and I remember when somebody tried to get rid of Saturday and Sunday. Everybody
simply stopped working, production halted, people went on strike, and nothing ever got
done. I can tell that you’re trying to get rid of them, and trust me, you don’t want to.”
“But what if I decided to stop working? Just do whatever I wanted to while everyone else
covered for me? Why do I have to work while they doze off?”
“Because we depend on you Monday. You keep things in check. I think you just need a
day off, allow me to introduce you to the concept of a three day weekend.”