Tears streamed down my face. I fell down to my knees. Anger, sadness, vengeance, every feeling mixed in my head. My husband lie dead below me, I can’t help him or save him. He is dead. Gone. How will I take care of Casper by myself? How will I manage the house? I stood up slowly and I realized who caused me all this pain. Them. The Southerners. They shot my husband and left my child and I with nothing. Anger and perseverance welled up inside me, I would find a way to get revenge. I would.
In the wagon on the way home, Casper looked up at me and asked, ”Where is dad?” I had no idea what I was going to tell him, how would I say that his dad, was coming home but then he got killed? How would I explain to a five year old where he went? A million things racing through my mind, and finally I said, “He went to your uncle’s house for the rest of the year.” That was the only thing I wanted to say or even could say, that could buy me some time to think about how I could explain everything to him. It feels wrong to put Casper through all this pain and grief of losing someone. Casper didn’t say anything, he simply turned his head and stared out the window. My older sister Charlotte on the opposite side of us stared at me with a disapproving look. I looked away and ignored her. I was too angry to feel bad for what I did because I know I did it with good intentions. Charlotte then said, "We need to talk when we get home Jane." I could tell that she was sympathetic for me but also concerned for Casper. The ride back home was bumpy and slow, Charlotte, Casper, and I sat in silence.
I opened the door and stepped inside, the feeling of happiness and merriment was gone. Even though Charles was not here for the last year, it always felt like he was with us. Now he’s actually gone. Taken.
I sat on our couch hazily. Charlotte then walked over and said,”I put Casper to bed.” I said thanks and looked down. Charlotte hugged me and the pain and anger that I was holding in just unleashed. Charlotte then said,”I promise that we will get through this together Jane”
“But I have to do something about this, I can’t just let them get away with this horrible CRIME!” I said steamed.
“What do you mean? What are you going to do?” She said with a eerie look on her face.
“I dont know yet but I am going to get revenge.” I said intently. My sister stared at me with a puzzled look on her face and said,” Revenge? Look Jane, Charles is gone whatever you are planning isn’t going to do anything.” I stood up and said,”It will.”
I woke up the next day tired and sleep deprived. I stayed up all night to plan what I was going to do and then around four AM it hit me. I would disguise myself and try to enlist into the war. I will dress as a man, change my name, and do whatever it takes to give the southerners retribution for the death of my husband! I ran across the creaky wood and changed into my oval hoop skirt and packed a bag of clothes from Charles’s closet for the trip. Then instantly I halted. What about Casper? What will I tell him and Charlotte. I then made my mind up, I will tell them that Charles’s parents sent me a letter asking me to come to their house to mourn. All these lies are messing with my head but I know that I have to do something to get revenge on the southerners. I walked downstairs and called for Charlotte. She walked toward me and asked,” Where are you going?”
“Charles’s parents sent a letter and asked me to take a train to their house to mourn” I said.
“Oh. Okay when will you return?” she asked.
“ I will be back in two weeks time.” I replied confidently.
“Okay just be safe and don’t talk to strangers” She said with a worried look. I opened the door and the cold wind blew against my face. Goosebumps ran across my arms as I sauntered toward the open road. The sky was gray and gloomy, and the streets were deserted. I felt even more scared and alone that I already was. I looked up and said,”Why. Why did this happen to me!” I felt weak in the knees and my vision started to blur and tears touched my eyes, but just then, I saw a local wagon coming down the road and it stopped in front of me. I bravely climbed in and told the driver ,” To the train station please.”
I arrived at the train station and rushed to the bathroom, I changed out of my hoop skirt and put on charleses’ clothes and a sharp pain ran across my body as a familiar scent lingered in his clothes. I closed the stall door and swiftly slipped out of the womens bathroom without anyone seeing me and boarded train A218 to the heart of the Southerners village. The train ride was bumpy and rickety but it gave me a lot of time to grieve and mourn for Charles. I had finally arrived at the village as the sun was setting, and there were many merchants bustling around trying to sell as much as they could before closing time. My vengeance was as strong as ever and I had overheard Charles talking about a Major Langston, he was the person who oversaw the new recruits and volunteers. I asked around for his address and one man pointed to a huge vanilla white house on the hill. I reached the house and rang the doorbell
“Who is it?” a daunting voice said.
“Umm...err its Casper” I replied hesitantly with the lowest voice I could make.
The door opened and a burly middle aged man stood in front of me and stared.
“Umm...I want to volunteer” I said.
“Okay, fill out this form and the rest of the volunteers start training tomorrow on the field, be there” he said reaching for a piece of paper from a table on the side.
“Is there a place I can stay?” I asked.
“Around the back there is a shed, you may stay there” he replied.
I found the room and inside there was a small cot and a nightstand, that was all I needed. That night I filled out the form and stayed up thinking about how I would seek my revenge and on who. Towards about midnight I could hear faint voices outside the door. So I put my ear to the door to listed.
“You didnt have to kill him he was so young.” a woman said concernly.
“Stop yelling you will wake the boy!” Major Langston said.
“I will stop yelling when you go apologize to Charles’s family.”
My mind raced and tears stained my eyes, they were talking about my Charles and he was the one who killed him! I crawled back to the cot trying not upset the creaky floorboards and I didn’t know what I was going to do how was I going to kill a man, a major, with that I drifted off to sleep.
I woke to the sound of a loud trumpet playing off-key notes and my ears ringing. I changed and yet again was comforted with the presence of Charles. I ran the the crowd of people down by the feild and found Major Langston amoung the sea of muscley men. I found him and stared with utter disgust and the most hatred I have ever felt in my whole life. I handed him my form and he replied with,” You are late, never do that again! You have musket training first, Go!”
I left feeling the anger, pain, and hate pulsing through my veins. I saw the muskets lying on the ground and an idea hit me, I will kill him now. I reached down and picked up the musket and repeated what I had saw Charles do so many times with his musket. Loaded it and ran to the trees that began the woods. I aimed as best I could to avoid anybody else who were bustling around Langston and found a spot he had just sat down on a bench in the open. I pointed and fired. A cry of pain filled the air and before I knew it I was running into the woods as fast as I had ever ran before, my head throbbing, pulsing. I found an opening in the woods and burst out into the sunlight. I was blinded. I squinted and saw a train approaching. This was my chance. I heard people running behind me and I sprinted toward the doors of the train. I was hopping off my toes waiting for the train to stop and as the doors opened I ran up the stairs and pushed past people and hid in the bathroom. My legs burning from all the cuts and my temples still throbbing. I had finally avenged Charles’s death. The train started to move and I calmed down. “Charles I miss you” I whispered out loud. “Why did you leave me?”