“Ken? It’s time, wake up.”... I give out the same groan that I’ve been familiar with for the past 2 years. My arm positions itself onto the mattress, indenting it and attempting to lift me off, as my own body refusing to comprehend. Skip School. That was the first thing that popped into my mind, but a part of me knew that skipping school was not a good idea. Just that little spark. I got myself up and sat down onto the bed. Everything was still a blur, including my memory. As I sat down, I remembered. Today’s the day. The field trip to Clark Beach. I get up and slump over to the sink. At least we get to skip classes, I thought to myself. I dressed up in the same old clothes that I always wear; my worn dark blue jeans with my plain gray and black hoodie, and some random t-shirt under it that I don’t really care about. I head down to the kitchen table, with some milk and cereal set up for me. “Hey Mom.” I mumbled, as I sat down still a little weary. I ate the cereal as I was thinking about what the field trip would be like. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was like all the rest of them. With me just ending up doing everything alone, while the very few of my friends go and play with their other friends and forget I’m even here. Suck it up. That was my motive, to just deal with it and move on. But I never thought of changing anything, I would just go with what’s going on, but I would never think about taking action; trying something new. Getting out of my comfort zone.
I head back up to grab my backpack and to get ready for the school bus. I open the door to feel a nice and easy breeze. I walk for few a minutes to get to my bus stop and wait for what felt like eternity, but was really 2 minutes thinking about the field trip. I hopped on to greet Joe, the bus driver. He nods his back to me (like he does all the time). I step forward to look for a seat. Maybe someone will offer me to sit by them? I keep walking till I reach the end of the bus. Well, I guess I’m sitting back here again. I sat back there staring at the window, which resulted in my eyes to start fading away, drifting to sleep. I wake up from a big jerk, noticing that the bus has stopped. All the kids start standing up and the bus grew loud. I shook my head back and forth telling myself to wake up. I head inside the school, sliding my backpack into the bottom of my locker. One of the teachers tells all of us to head out and into Bus #13. I follow a group of kids to the bus and sit inside, again, alone. After attempting not to fall asleep, I did. I wake up from the voices that grew louder and know that we’ve stopped. I hop out to see a great view, and think that this might not be as bad as I thought. I follow our group into the beach and I rush to the line for the Mens’ bathroom to change into my bathing suit. I walk out to see Fin, one of my closest friends. I walk up to say hi, but instead I’m ignored. Apparently he’s too busy talking and laughing with his other friends, so I just walk away. I walk around the whole beach till I reach the end, and sit down on top of a rock next to the bushes, away from people’s sight. I look into the distance, into the waves. I look all the way across the whole beach, and see a kid sitting exactly parallel to where I am. He looked so sad, and tired. I stare at him, wondering if this is a hallucination, if I was seeing.. myself. That can’t be me.. Is that what I look like?... No.. The kid was looking around the waves, just as I just was. He turned his head and saw me. We were staring at each other, wondering if this was a mirror. I got up to see if I really was going nuts, and saw that he got up too. I knew this couldn’t be real. I got up and walked towards him. If that was what I really looked like, I have to do something. I might regret this, but I have to try something new.. somewhere out of my comfort zone. I walk and stare at him, walking past all of my so-called “friends”. He was just standing there looking at me, trying to look away but couldn’t help it. I reached to his side of the beach.
“Hey”, I awkwardly greeted to him.
“Hi” he responded, with a little snicker.
“I’m, uh, Ken.”
“Nice to meet you, Johnson.. I’m not very good with small talk, as you could probably tell.”
“That’s alright, I don’t really have many friends to talk to..”
“Well, you’ve got me?”
We both smiled, seeing that we’ve gone off to a good start. We were now friends. We kept going on, and on about our personal issues about our own friends. This was a great time for me to bond with a friend. I’ve never experience such relief. I hated school before, but now I’ve met a new friend. Someone who doesn’t ignore me. I talked to Johnson for a while, on the beach. We shared our problems, and how I was tired of being ignored. Johnson and I have a lot in common. He was new to the school this year, and we don’t have any classes together. But he seemed like a cool guy, and is a good friend. I was foolish and let myself get away with all my secrets. I used harsh words on how I felt about my “friends”. I felt that he could be trusted and that it felt like that I’ve known him for years. I asked if he wouldn’t tell anyone about how I felt about my previous friends. But he immediately walked away. I grabbed his arm and asked where he was going. He yanked his arm out of my hand and started running off and calling Fin’s name. Oh no. Please don’t be what I think is going to happen. My heart froze. I didn’t know what to do. I felt worse than ever. Everything turned blurry, and all the noises felt muffled. My head felt so light.
I walked up to them. Speechless. One word come out. Yes. Fin walked away, not mad, or upset, but with the same face as always. That was when I became mad. “You don’t feel anything? I was your friend and I just insulted and de-friended you, and you’re just going to walk away?!” I was furious. But then I remembered. Just deal with it. My mind was now clear. This was a possibility I should’ve saw coming. I’ve learned my lesson. Don’t let my emotions cloud my judgement. I’ve got to think about all the things I’m going to say. I need to step outside of my comfort zone, but do it wisely.