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The Dandy

The Dandy image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
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Tliero comes a spruce, prim genteelly dressed young man, rïgged off f rom top totoe in the latest fashions, every curl ond plait of hair just so, every speck carefully brushed from his clothes, his bools shining with borrowed lustre, his Unen extra clean and nicely washed and ironed, his hands mounted in white kid gloves, twirling a higlily ornaniented walking stick, and his newest style beaver, brushed so slick that the summev's brceze turns aside so as not to ruffle it, and the entire gentleman as extra nice as if he and all on ond in him had just issued from a bandbox of the hitest London and Pari.sian fashions. Observe h'u? walk. See how ñnished, light, and highly ornamented. See howmany flourishes he writes, not with pen and ink, but wilh arms. feel, and head - moíions put on, not io help him walk the faster or easier,'for they retard bolh. but for effect. See, us he comes to that liitle water on the pavo, how narticularly nice he picks himself up, vyalks clear around it, ns though fearful that the very sight ot it might soil hisbnicefyship. He bows, not cordial ly, as i f he were plascd to ' nise an oíd acquanlaní"í, but as though he wished to show what an extra nice and üpped-off bow he could make. Notice his try-to-be-gracefulness. See how particularly nice he takes up his feel and puts thom down again. See how e.quisitely he moves his hands. There, he espíes a belle. Now, just see how extra genteelly he lilts his hand to his pendant quizzing-glass, carries bolh to his eye, and takes a most finified squint. Al), he recognizes her, and she him. An such a bow ! His hat üfted so extra genleelly f:om his heao', his head and wholo body to his hips bent forward, vet in a straight line, as thojgh he had but one joinf. No indications of respect for her, but onlv of personal vanity. And llien the genteel contortions of his whole frame. So many finified motions - so much fuas and lashionable froth. Dear me, aint he a dandy extraordinary. Do notice that face. A kind of half laughing scowl, and the restalTectedly squintified. Ofexpression it hasonly enough to show how liule there s ; and that liule is all twisted up into fantástica 4bf try-to-bo gentility. - And the whole man, or railier dnndified thing - for he has scorcely the twentielh part of a man in him, the rest bdriúgbeen refjned outofhim in order that frnified nothingness might take 13 place - one tailorfied bundie of genleel emptiness. Itrequires no Lavater to discerní liis chnrncler. His ditnensions cnn be taken without resort to Euciid. Whal lhcre is of him is on him. He has not sufllcient soul in him to anímate a goodsizcd pullet. His segar iá larger than hè is, ond made out of bettar material; íhat is, less offensive and poisonous, and, like il, heis all smoke, ind the rest ashes. - There is no nature in either his walk or his soul. All is art, affectation, make believe. He has not sufficient force toearn his solt. He is incapable even of dressing himsolf. His barber does that lor him. The wbole of him, his vices excepted, would not fill a good-sized mustard-seed shell ; and his walk corresponda. A smal] potatoe subject throughout. Such a thing may do to escort drcssmado ladies to the party or concert, and beau them into or out of the assemblyroom, but as to any thing requiring energy and efficiency, he is weighed in tlie balance. He is exactly adapted to become a lady's playlhing, or else to play with trifles more trifling thnn himself,and nothing else.