Letters to Heaven
I wake up in my old crusty stained sheets. I look over at the empty bed next to mine, it looks exactly how you left it.
I look back on all the memories we had. We promised each other would be together till the end.
We had planned our whole lives out. You and I would get married on a beach in Hawaii, our husbands best friends, just like us. We designed our houses on any scrap pieces of paper we could find lying around the orphanage. With the pack of crayons that we found in the den. We drew our blue and white houses connected with a bright orange swirly slide, so our daughters Lilly and Tiffany could always play together. They would be inseparable just like us.
Until then, we had to live like this in a rundown orphanage where no one cared about us. I only had you and you only had me. Everyone would tell us this want the Cassidy and Callie show and not everything was about us but we were in our own world. Seven years ago today we found the dirty orange string and the chipped yellow and red rotten beads in the dining hall.
It might not seem like much but to us it meant a lot. You made the bracelets as I watched from the fort we had made from the crummy sheets of our beds.
When you were finally done, you turned with a smile ear to ear, looking at you smile made me smile, my raunchy teeth start to show and so do yours. “Voila!” you say.
We do are hand shake loud and stomp our feet.
“Girls, calm down!” Ms. Raven Yelled.
“Sorry, MS. Raven!” We both say. You tied the bracelet around my wrist. You said, “Callie, we are never allowed to take these off, so when one of us isn’t here anymore we can always remember the other.” “So promise me whatever you do you will not take this off ever.”
“I promise.” I say, I didn’t really know why you were taking things so serious, but you usually took things super serious I just didn’t know why.
I did the same to you with your bracelet, then we danced and pretended we were models on a runway, playing our favorite song “Grove is in the Heart” On Ms. Ravens old radio.
Three years later, we still wore our bracelets and planed our double wedding and fantasized about our future homes. It was still the Cassidy and Callie show at least in our minds. The next year we celebrated our friendship by parading through the orphanage. You in your blue jeans and red Abercrombie t-shirt and my sweater and disgusting khakis. Your blonde hair and green eyes hair tied back with a red bandana my brown hair blue eyes hair tie back with a scarf. I looked into your lime green eyes knowing that in one year it would be the last time I would get to see them.
Days go by, and we do the same thing every day: wake up, laugh, have fun, go to sleep; a normal day with a best friend well practically a sister.
Until I hear you rolling and tossing in your bed. I look over you are shaking. You are flopping around like a fish out of water.
I say “Cassidy what are you doing?” I laugh Mabey I shouldn’t have.
She tries to speak, but no words come out, just short puffs of air.
“Cassidy, what’s going on?” Worry and panic spread across my body like pins and needles. I tense up everywhere. I can’t move but I know I have to.
I rip off my sheets, and I sprint down the long, creepy hall and hop down the creaky old stairs.
I haven’t talked to Ms. Raven ever since the incident. It was May 4th and Cassidy and I had just paraded around the orphanage.
“Girls!” Ms. Raven yelled
“Yes Ms. Raven.” We said
“Do I need to explain it to you again you need settle down. No one here cares about your friendship that much to disturb them at 6:00 am. I could care less if you girls left.” She told us.
“Sorry Ms. Raven, we understand.” I said
We leave her Office, Cassidy is almost crying.
“It’s ok Cass don’t sweat it.” I tell you as we walk away.
I don’t have time to think about that now so I keep running to Ms. Raven’s living quarters.
“Ms. Raven, Ms. Raven, come quick something’s happening to Cassidy, I think she is seizure!”
“Callie what is it what’s happening.”
“Just come with me.” I said
We rush up the stairs through the hall and into our room. We get over to Cassidy’s bed she isn’t spazzing out she is just lying there like a rock. Your eyes are close, I lean over to see you and you’re not breathing any more I didn’t know if this was going to be the last time I get to see you. I fall back and knock into the wall slid down to sit with my head in my knees. This can’t be happening I think to myself not today not ever. Tear ran down my face the tasted salty like the pretzels you and I stole from the kitchen, when we were five.
“Callie come over here, we have to call an ambulance.” Ms. Raven said to me.
I run back downstairs and into the den making a line of tears down the hall and down the stairs. I dial 911 my fingers shaking missing the keys a couple times. My whole body is practically vibrating from how bad I am shaking.
“Hello this is 911 what is your emergency.”
“Hello u-um m-m-my f-f-friend is ha-ha-having a-a s-seizure or-or sa-sa-something and n-n-ow she, like, um, is not breathing.” I say through an abundance of tears.
“Ma’am calm down your friend will be ok, we are sending help now.”
I hang up, I sit in a broken chair. Realizing everything in my life is broken just like this chair: my family that I never met, my best friend, everything in this orphanage.
I see flashing lights through the cracked window another thing that is broken. The ambulance is finally here. I see some one walk up to the door, I open up the door to see a very tall man, and he lets himself in.
“Where is she?” He asked
“Up those stairs and to the left.” I say quietly as I point to the stairs
I am practically sitting in a pool of my own tears. I feel like I am going to throw up I try to calm down but I can’t, nothing is helping.
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, I see you being carried by that guy your head hanging down your eyes closed. Ms. Raven follows you out the door. I watch as they put you in that moving death box they call an ambulance.
I wait hours for you and Ms. Raven to return, but you never do. I slump up the stairs and fall into my bed. It is the next morning and you are not in the bed next to me. So I go down stairs for breakfast. I see Ms. Raven at the kitchen table.
“Callie come here sweetie.”
I walk over slowly wondering why she is being nice to me but I think I already know.
“ I have two things to tell you: first of all I would like to apologize for the way I treated you and Cassidy, and second of all last knight unfortunately we lost Cassidy.” She whimpers
“What.” I say
“I am so sorry.”
“It is ok I am just going to go sit in my room for a while.”
That is where I wrote this letter, I still plan to do the things we planned together but no double wedding no blue house and I will not name my daughter Lilly I plan to name her Cassidy. I still wear my bracelet I hope you do to.
“If there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is even is we’re apart. I’ll always be with you. –Winnie the pooh.