Kacey-“Mommy, I’m hungry, when can I eat?” my tummy made another growling noise.
“Shut up Kacey, maybe you should’ve done what daddy and I said, then you would’ve been able to have dinner.” she snapped back, taking a sip of her adult drink. A car door slammed shut. My daddy was home. He stomped into the living room, with a bag of bottles and a pizza.
“Daddy, I’m really hungry, can I have a piece of pizza please?” I was trying not to cry. I have a tummy ache now. I don’t get dinner. Mommy and daddy ate all the pizza. It was a lot of pizza. They make me go to bed early, I barely have time to shower. I’m still hungry, I don’t feel good. But they will just get mad if I tell them. So I fall asleep, dreaming of cookies and doughnuts.
Mom wakes me up my stumbling into my room, yelling.
“Kacey, get your ass up right now before I beat you!” she finished, her words sounded funny. I quickly got up and dressed, the remembering I didn’t eat. I am starving. I brush my hair and slip my shoes on really fast, so maybe I can have breakfast. As I walk into the kitchen, I get a whiff of bacon and sausage. My tummy growled at the sight of all the food on the table.
“Thanks for the breakfast dad, I’m really hungry.” I tried to sound as happy as possible.
“You dumb girl, that’s not for you, you don’t deserve to eat, and this is for my wonderful wife, your mother that you don’t respect. Get out of my house...NOW!” he yelled really loud. I ran out of the house, to go to my bus stop, still hungry.
My second grade teacher, Miss. Morello, greeted me in front of her classroom door. It was covered with our pictures framed with sunflowers. Inside, it is bright and full of color. The walls are filled with posters we made, coloring pages, math worksheets and test grades. A spiral rug sits on the floor in the corner, with a rocking chair where she reads to us every day.
Miss Morelli- “Good morning, Kacey, how are you doing this morning?” I smiled at Kacey, she looked different today. I greeted her with a smile.
“Morning Miss Morelli…,”she mumbled.
I usually got a high five and a smile, today, her shoulders slouched and her head was down.
“Hey, everything okay?”
“Yeah, well, I mean, can I talk to you for a second?”
“Of course, what’s up?”
“It’s a big secret, I’m not supposed to tell you, so you have to promise not to tell anyone.” she was stuttering and fiddling with her thumbs.
“Okay, I pinky promise I won’t tell anyone, what’s going on?” I was suddenly concerned.
“ Miss M, I didn’t get dinner last night, I forgot to wash a spoon in the sink, so mommy and daddy were really mean, they said bad things, and said I couldn’t eat dinner. This morning, I came into the kitchen really hungry, and there was all this food, but daddy said I couldn’t have anything to eat. He was talking funny, but he made me get out of the house, and I had to walk to school all by myself. I have a really bad tummy ache Miss.” she started quietly crying.
“Goodness Kacey, that’s horrible. Come with me to get something to eat, you poor thing. I’ll tell you what, if you are ever hungry, just tell me and I’ll get you something to eat. Okay? Is there anything else I should know about?” I was suddenly almost mad at her parents.
“No, they’re just really mean to me, and at night they act weird, and they smell bad. But no, nothing else.” she mumbled.
I took her to the teacher room, and got her cereal, milk, a blue Gatorade, a protein bar, and hash browns. She at it all so fast. Her face brightened. And came to life again.
“Thanks, I already feel a lot better. But remember, you can’t tell anyone, or daddy will get really Mad.” she said in between her sips of Gatorade.
“I won’t say anything. Don’t worry.” a swarm of guilt swept over me.
Kacey: The rest of my school day was really good. I got a 100 on my math test. And my best friend and I were partners for reading. We mostly talked about how we thought John was really cute. I didn’t want to leave school. Miss Morello gave me a bag of gold-fish in case they didn’t let me eat again.
Daddy wasn’t outside of the school, so I had to walk. When I got home, there was a lot of bottles on the floor. Mom was sleeping on the couch. I don't know where daddy was. I sat at the table to do my homework. I saw dad outside. He was smoking something in a glass bottle thing. He saw me, then started walking inside, his hands in a fist.
“You stupid girl! What are you doing looking out there? Huh?” his tone was mean.
“Daddy I wanted to tell you I got a 100 on my math test today.” I tried to be nice.
“Who cares, you won’t go anywhere in life, you’re stupid, just like your mother. Nothing more than a crack whore. Go to your room.” he rolled his eyes and walked back outside. What was a crack whore? Is mommy stupid? Why did I have to go to my room? He makes me mad. Really mad. But I know not to say anything. I finished my homework.
I must have taken a nap. Because I woke up to shattering glass and mommy screaming. The kitchen had dirty dishes covering the counter, rotting food in the fridge. The paint was peeling off of the walls.you could see the dirt in the creases of the tiled floor.an oder of eggs and stale ciggaretts moved throughout the house. I peeked out of my room, daddy was hitting mom. Really hard. She was crying.
“You whore! It’s your fault that we have a daughter that we don’t even want. What is wrong with you? I should leave you, you don’t do anything in this place, except take my drugs and alcohol.”
His voice was loud and sharp. He was scaring me.
“Leave mommy alone!” I screamed. I was crying.
“What did you say to me?” his neck snapped in my direction.
“Stop hurting mommy! It’s not nice!” My voice cracked. He left my mom's limp body and was making his way toward me. He took his belt off of his faded jeans. He rose his arm above his head, and let the belt come down onto my forearm. Just once, but that one time was enough. I yelled out in pain. My arm felt like it was going to fall off. The sharp burning pain went all up my arm and down the other. I couldn’t stop crying. Dad went outside and left. Mommy was asleep on the floor still. My arm was getting tingly. My eyes hurt from the crying, my throat itched from screaming. I wanted to go to sleep. I down the hall. I put my pg.’s on, I didn’t shower. I snuggled my bear close to me, and finally went to sleep.
Daddy woke me up the next morning. It was ten in the morning. I was late for school. He was smiling.
Miss Morelli: It was 10:32 and Kacey still wasn’t in school. I felt a knot start to grow in my stomach. I know I should tell my boss, but the last thing I wanted to do was make matters worse. Maybe she just had an appointment.
I could hardly hear the phone ringing with the combination of the student chatter and my own negative thoughts I was drowning in.
“Good morning, this is Miss Morello.” my voice high pitched and happy.
“Morning, wanted to let you know that Kacey was on her way down to class” the lady at the front desk sounded more like a robot.
“Oh alright, thank you so much. Have a wonderful day.” I felt a huge weight released from my shoulders. I hung up the phone. I greeted Kacey at the door.
“Hey, everything okay? I missed you this morning.” I didn’t want to nag too much,
“Oh, yeah. I’m fine. Mommy is sick and dad forgot I had school. That’s all.” she would’ meet my eyes.
“Okay, let me know if anything changes.” she walked away and took her seat. Something didn’t feel right. Maybe she’ll open up when she’s ready.
Kacey
She asked a lot of questions when I got to school. My body was really sore. I didn’t want to play at recess. But I did anyways, my friend wanted to play tag. This boy James was it. He chased me for a long time. Them he tagged me. On my arm. Where I had my boo-boo. He hit really hard. I started crying, and Miss Morello came running over, asking what had happened. I wanted to tell her, but my daddy said I couldn't. So I just sat there. She never asked about the bruise. I wish she saw. I had my sleeves rolled up. I cried at recess. I wish she had seen my bruise, so she could help me. But she didn’t, so rest of school went by slow. And then I had to walk home.
I came home and mom was on the couch. She had ice all over her, her eye was black.
“Where’s daddy?” I knew it was the wrong question. He was out drinking with his friends.
“Kacey, I want you to listen to me, real closely. Your dad, is a real mean man. And so we have to do exactly what he says, to stay safe. So that we don’t end up with more marks on our bodies okay? And you can’t tell anyone that this is happening. He said he will hurt us really bad if we do. I love you” she was crying. I was too. The thing was, he still hurt us. At least every other day. Mommy got it worse than me. But I slowly became more covered in bruises. Mom broke her foot. I kept telling Miss Morello. She wanted to help, I wouldn’t let her.
It was a Thursday, right in the middle of winter. Mommy and I were watching “The Jungle Book” on the couch with some popcorn. I heard a car pull into the driveway. I knew what was coming next. A lump formed in my throat. I wish Miss M told someone about what was happening at home. I wish she brought me and mommy to her house. To keep us away from daddy. I wish I didn’t ask her to keep that secret. I wish I could run away. Run to her house. Be safe for just one night. I wish.
“Mommy I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for letting me watch this movie with you, it’s a perfect night.” I smiled and gave her a hug.
Miss Morelli
It was a Monday morning. It was 8:33, the bell for the start of the day was about to ring. I was greeted with a bunch of handshakes and hugs on their way into class. The bell rang, and the students all took their seats. After morning announcements, the class went around sharing good things. A seat was empty. Kacey seat was empty. I wish I had said something, I wish I didn't promise.