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Grade
10

I will never be clean enough...the blood on my hands will never come off all the innocent people who died. As I turn the clean shiney sink, I make sure it is clean before I touch it, I can not be dirty again I don’t want to be! I am getting married soon or I was I don’t know if she will change her mind like the last one did. She didn't like how I wanted to be clean all the time, I thought it was a good thing to be clean, she was gross anyway. My soon to be wife, her name is Layla, I happen to think it’s cute. She is pregnant only 5 months, we are having twins. Two beautiful daughters, I hope they get her soft skin, her delegate ocean eyes, her long blond hair. I hope they get my height because their mom is short, I am 5’9 and she is 5’4. I hope Layla knows how much her and our kids know how much they mean to me. Anyway, I am in the Army, I am 25 years old, Layla is 24 years old, we are ready for me to be home again, but i’ll be deported one more time before that can even be possible. I am in combat, so I handle guns, and grenades, I carried my battle buddy out of a war zone with people firing everywhere, but you know what they say no soldier left behind. I am being shipped off into Afghanistan, where I will fight one last battle and then I get to go home and be married to my beautiful fiance. We want to go to Paris for our honeymoon, I think she will really like it there. I am getting shipped off tomorrow so i am trying to spend as much time with her as I possibly can.

“Aren’t you afraid that you won’t come home to the twins and I.”

“Of course i am baby, but think when I get home we will be spending the rest of our lives together.”

“I just don’t want to lose you...I can’t raise two babies on my own!”

“And you won't have to my love, it’s just for a few months. I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

“I am trusting you...please don’t leave me…”

 

I close my eyes and give her a kiss, I sing to her fat belly and watch as she falls asleep to the melody of my voice, I watch as the kicking stops and I know the babies are asleep. I close my eyes knowing I am leaving, so I cuddle up real close to her and my baby girls. As I wake up and get my things, I kiss Layla and hope she doesn’t wake up I sneak downstairs and write a letter to her saying that I left and that I will miss her very much, but I will be home soon. I get to Afghanistan and we are about to go into battle, we get our mission, the only thing on my mind is thinking about is getting back to my beautiful family. I am the is first man to run out...it is silent I hear the first gunshot and I know it is time to get going, we all run out and we take cover as bombs go off, there is dirt and dust everywhere. It is hard to see and all all you hear is the screams of people in pain, I see my battle buddy, Derek and I tackle him down as he almost gets shot. We sit for minute before returning to battle, we have no idea if we will make it, but we will try our best to make it. We stick together and shoot people when will this end, I feel like it’s been ages. It’s finally over and I’m waiting to go home, I’ve been shot in the leg...I might be a hold over, which means I can not go home for a few weeks...I hope they won’t do that. They are letting me go home, thank God because I can not stand this place any longer than I should have too. 8 years and I am finally done with this place, can not wait for a hot shower and spend time with my wife without worrying about getting up to leave her again. The only time I would get up before her and make coffee along with breakfast. My buddies and I are are going celebrate along with our beautiful wifes, Derek and I are the best of friends we have what these kids nowadays call ‘bromance’, what does that even mean my kids never will be this confusing AT ALL!!

 

After we all get together we go to a beautiful restaurant and the ladies have a blast while us men talk about sports, we talk about football mostly because hey why not.

“Dude this football game is wild!” yelled Derek

“I’m right across from you, why are you yelling?”

“Aw, man I’m sorry, but I am being serious!”

“I know, the giants better win or I’ll flip a table or worse eat your food!” I say jokingly, he chuckles for a moment and gets serious as he watches the game. We both look at each other and jump up with glee, when our team gets a touchdown! All of a sudden...I am being tackled, I throw whoever is on me off and I tell people to get down, and I run to grab my wife. I see as I am covered in dirt I pounce to the ground and yell grenade, everything around me blows up. I open my eyes and none of this stuff is happening..I am on the floor, I push who is ever on me off and I look around. Embarrassed by what just happened, I rush to my seat and look down..I can hear the voices of many people talking about what just happened....I watch football and keep quiet, Derek comes over to me and he just watches as I take a sip of my water.

“Why are you looking at me Derek?”

“What the fuck just happened!”

“I thought we were in the war..I don’t know what happened”

“I know you have PTSD and I am here to talk and listen to you or dude at least talk to your wife.”

“She is going to think I am insane...I can not lose her, why do you think I am not saying anything”

“She is your wife, she will love you no matter how insane you will get, she married you for a reason...so she can be there for you.”

“Fine, okay you win...I will talk to her, but not about everything I can’t overwhelm her with everything…”

“She will be fine just open up to her as much as possible, don’t let fear get in your way.”

“Thank you bro I love ya man”

 

I walk over to her and I can see she is trying to get her breathing back to normal...I can already feel my lungs about to collapse, I can feel it is getting harder to breathe. I almost turn around and go back to watching football, and I sit down next to her and we start to talk, but not about the war. She might have overheard Derek and I talking, and she probably thinks that it isn’t the right time or place right now. So I hang in there and we make it through the night without one word about it. She forgets all about how I was going to talk to her about my time away from home. I leave it be and we watch tv together for a little while before I realize she falls asleep that I was going to give her a kiss. She starts to move a lot so I start to sing to her, her favorite song and she is peacefully asleep..I cuddle up right next to her, I shut off the light and the tv and start to doze off. I wake up earlier than she does and I make her breakfast in bed, with her favorite cup of ice tea, I like mine sweet or I won’t drink it same with her. I wake her up with warm kisses and she smiles and does a big yawn, I give her the tea first and she makes a face...I forgot to put sugar in it. We laugh and sit for a while she makes another face and she touches her stomach, she takes my hand and the girls are kicking, I look at her and smile. I can’t believe I am going to be a dad, we are going to have a family...one day when I drop our kids off at school, i’ll wave to them and thank my lucky stars for that night. A knock at the door and we look at each other, I help her up and we head over to the door...it is a detective, I open the door and we tell him to come inside and make himself at home.

“Hello Mr. and Mrs.Jasper i have some questions to ask…did you know a man named Derek Wine”

“Yes I was in the Army with him...is everything alright officer…”

“No, he was shot last night. Do you think anyone might have been after him?”

“No, he was a friendly man, everyone really liked him..can I have a minute please..”

“Yes take your time and we will keep going.”

“Layla can we talk for a second babe?”

“Of course darling...how are you holding up?”

“Not good my best friend was murdered..I want to find this person who killed him..”

“Let the cops handle this..we have a family now, you can't leave me with these freaking kids..”

“I won’t I just need to do this..please…?”

“You have a week to figure tis out and if you don’t find who killed Derek, you let the police handle it, got it?”

“Yes, thank you so much.”

“Excuse me for interrupting, but I have to get going..if you think you might know anything about Derek’s death let me know and I am sorry for your loss.”

‘Thank you officer, have a good day.”

I have Layla take a seat and I tell her every last bit about what Derek and I have been through in the army and she starts to cry. I make her look at me and I let her know that I am here and I am here to stay no one can take me down, not yet. I give her a kiss and i’m gone, I tell her i’ll be home in a few hours. I call my sargent and tell him about what happened to Derek, he tells me that he will send his best men out here with me to help find his killer, but I already know who it is. I tell him I already know who it is and he tells me to get to work and I set off I hunt him down until it is pitch black I finally find him in an alley, he knew I was coming. He is standing there waiting for me, I see his weapon so I know I should prepare for a fight, he looks at me for a while and I tell him that he is going to die. He killed my best friend, my brother, a guy with a family, he has no idea what he just did and I am ready to take him down. He throws the first swing with his knife, I grab his arm and I twist it, he drops the knife and I kick it away. He pulls away and I knock him to the ground and he knows his fate. I look him in the eyes and I hear sirens I know the police are coming. My sargent put a tracker in my phone, he knows if i’m in the same spot for too long either I am dead or I am fighting this low life, I tell him he will rot in hell for the rest of his life, but first it’s prison.

“Why did you kill him?”

“Just because, everyone likes him better than they like me, I had to get rid of him”

“You killed my best friend over being Jealous! Go to hell!”

“He did this to himself!”

“He went to war to serve our country to protect people like you! He did nothing to you, he doesn’t even know you!”

“He is dead now so it doesn’t matter, I won.”

“Yeah, you won a lifetime in prison!”

“Police put your hands up! Good job soldier, you did well!”

“Thank you sir, please make sure he is locked up tight, I am going home to my beautiful wife now.”

“We will see you  tomorrow, we need you to testify against this man.”

“See you tomorrow, goodnight officer.”

“Goodnight Soldier, I am sorry for you loss.”

I walk away, wiping tears away from my bloody face and I go home knowing that I did a good job tonight, who knows how many people he would have killed if the cops couldn’t find him. I hope he is happy..he got what he wanted and it was to be noticed, but now he is noticed as a killer. I go home and i go into the shower, I hear my wife cooking dinner, I clean myself from the blood and after I go to the kitchen and sneak up on my wife, I hug her from behind. She tries to kiss me, but she can’t reach me, she turns around and hugs me. She knows I put that evil man in jail and we are free to finally be a family. Tomorrow is the funeral and I am a complete mess, when we were in war he said if he died before me, he would want me to do his eulogy, so I said the same thing...never thought it would be this soon. Can’t believe that I have to watch my best friend lay there...never to smile, throw pizza at me, never to have a beer...we will never watch football together again...and it is truly killing me on the inside. Here is to my best friend who severed in the Army, who tried to start a family, who tried to survive...goodbye my brother..rest in peace.