“I have lived a life with no regrets. Since I was young I knew I was destined to achieve greatness. I was always a smart child, gifted with talents I would never expect any of my peers to understand. I’m use to not feeling accepted. I have grown familiar with the bittersweet taste of being different. I learned to embrace it. My name is Patrick Neil and I see things in a way few others can. I have been single handedly picked by God himself to educate and make a difference on this Earth. Change is coming, I can feel it with every epidemic, every natural disaster and every act of human intolerance. The very structure of this Earth is shifting, new elements are forming, the end is near. As the Earth changes I sense it within me, we are connected. In my every bone, every limb, every nerve cell I can feel change. I can feel it rippling through my core, running through my bloodstream, racing to rewrite the reality of the present. I can’t think of much else, my brain has been rewired with the truth and I know it’s up to me to spread it.” I said.
I wanted to keep my speech blunt and to the point. I’ve learned that’s the best way people listen.
“It is with those intentions that I stood there, at the front of the crowd of the 2004 Athens Olympics men marathon. I was determined to be heard, and what better time than when the whole world is watching? I knew this was the right thing to do. I remember not being sure when to go in, but I knew I just had to be patient and God would tell me. There is no doubting Him. I stood there, at the 35 KM mark, waiting for my cue, waiting for his voice to come through to me. That is my stage; that is my arena. My time to show my talents, my time to do what I was destined to do. I felt the familiar rush of adrenaline fill my body and before my mind could catch up to my legs I was running in. God- I miss that feeling. I could feel the wind brush off my face, greeting me and wishing me luck on my mission. I heard the crowd gasp behind me, their surprise invading the atmosphere. The hostility was prominent, but I didn’t care. I was carrying a banner “The End Is Near.” I reached the middle of the track, and lifted my banner for the world to see. Everyone was staring at me but I felt the crowd’s confusion. I could hear God telling me it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t disappoint him. I knew I needed to do more. I had to make them understand.”
I pause briefly and look around the group. Some people are nodding, agreeing, others stare at me with confused, almost blank faces. I catch my breath and continue.
“As the runners approached me, I was enlightened. I knew exactly what I had to do. I saw him, the front runner, I can’t really remember his name now, and I grabbed him. God told me I could he could help me accomplish my mission. I had to educate him. I was sure he could help me spread the word of the Lord. I wanted him to help me stop the world long enough to hear my warnings. He was my best chance at helping those condemned people. I told him ‘I’m telling you this and I hope you don’t take it lightly, because it’s anything but that. The world is ending, in Jesus’ second coming he will rule the Earth and those who have not been loyal to him will die. God has requested you personally to go on this journey with me. So fear not, you will be saved, but only if you help me now.’ He stared at me in disbelief and before he could respond, a man from the crowd took him from my reach, and helped him re-enter the race. I knew that man wouldn’t be saved. The runner and I locked eyes before he started running again. I wasn’t sure if he had listened to what I said, but God wanted me to talk to him for a reason. I felt the security guards pushing through the crowd to get to me, they don’t know what I know. I couldn’t let them take me, my work wasn’t done yet. I started pushing through the crowd, using them to my advantage. I had to blend in. I remember the anger in their voices as they screamed out for me, I didn’t want to make anyone angry but it wasn’t my fault they weren’t enlightened like I was. I ran past countless faces and into my car. I looked through my rearview mirror to make sure I wasn’t being followed, and then started the engine.”
I took another pause to gather my thoughts. The faces looking back at me were shocked, some angry like the guards, some empathetic and others just pitiful. I don’t want their pity. The group leader spoke up, for the first time since I started speaking. He said
“Continue Patrick, don’t be discouraged, we are here to hear your story. Tell me more about yourself.”
That was really all I was ever looking for; someone to want to hear my story. I looked into his light brown eyes and tried to determine if they were kind or empty, I feel like he was somewhere in between. God had built the bridge for me, I wanted to provide him the same opportunity. I continued.
“I am not a materialistic man. My home is a simple one-bedroom house. I don’t have wealth and extravagance. I believe all I need is a roof over my head and my faith. I’ve never loved a woman, and no one’s loved me-besides from God. But I am not lonely, I’m content in my solitude. There is no greater love than what I get from Him. I am one of thirteen children, raised entirely by my mother. I understand the feeling of being ignored, I understand feeling alone better than you would think. It’s not about being surrounded by people; it’s about being with the correct people. At any given time in my childhood I was with at least 6 other kids, yet I never felt more alone than in that house. When you’re simply one of thirteen you become use to the idea of not feeling special. I never did. I knew I was unique, I could tell I was different. They never did. My work is something that not many can comprehend. That’s what I’m trying to fix. I want the world to wake up and breathe in my reality, breathe in God’s reality, before it’s too late.”
I had never told anyone that before. I realized I was getting too personal. I reminded myself they point wasn’t to hear about me, there was a bigger picture. A picture I had to paint into their minds before God made it a reality and it was too late to go on the right path.
“Ever since I realized I was the chosen one, I set out on my missions. I reach people from all over the world. I take no breaks. It’s a tremendous amount of pressure, but I know I can handle it. My first mission, was perhaps my riskiest. I had to prove that I was all in. I remember it clearly- June 5th 2001 at the British Grand Prix. It was an event that changed my life forever. My first protest, my first teaching. This was the first moment I was ever truly proud of myself. I had been planning it for weeks, this was my debut. When I heard Gods voice telling me the time was right, I ran across the track on the 200 mph Hangar Straight. I was waving a banner, which said Read the Bible. The Bible is always right. I could feel the adrenaline radiating off my skin, I felt unstoppable. The cars were speeding past me; I was overwhelmed in the best way possible. I was in the eye of the hurricane.
“Weren’t you scared?” The girl sitting in front said. She was plagued with anxiety, shriveled up in her seat, holding herself as if to keep her emotions from spilling out of her chest.
“God made me indestructible. I wasn’t scared I was at peace. I had never experienced joy like that before. In that moment I knew why God had chosen me for this task. He knew I needed it. He knew without it I would never feel this way. It was a sense of completion that no women, no child or no ordinary job could give me. I felt fulfilled, I felt seen, I felt happy for the first time in my life. I was so overcome with joy, when the cop tackled me to the ground and handcuffed my hands behind my back all I could do was laugh. I didn’t blame him for stopping me, it’s not his fault he isn’t special, it’s not his fault he wasn’t chosen. When I was taken to court and sentenced to two months in jail, I knew it was worth it. I looked the judge straight in the eyes and told her during my testimony ‘I may be guilty by your standards, you may think I’m insane, but God is the ultimate judge and in his eyes I have done no wrong.’ When no one came to visit, I felt alone for the first time in a while. I remember sitting in my cell, day dreaming conversations that would never happen. Every visiting day, I prayed that they would come, if only just to say they didn’t understand me. I found myself missing the way they never got me. For the first month, loneliness and I were close friends; we were knit from the same cloth. The third Saturday, I got my first visitor. The first familiar face I had seen in weeks was the Head Priest, he didn’t look happy. I remember the disdain clinging to his facial features, hiding in between the wrinkles on his forehead. By the end of that meeting, they had taken my status as a priest. They took my official title. I was no longer allowed to preach under the name of the church. From then on I was a debunked Roman Catholic Priest. I knew I was destined to serve God so I didn’t understand why this would happen. My views were shattered, my faith temporarily wavered. I was confused on what to do with my life, I felt empty.”
My eyes started to tear, I didn’t like thinking about this period of my life, but I had to if they were going to understand.
“The doctors in the prison started throwing the names at me, these titles I knew weren’t real. ‘depressed’ and ‘schizophrenic’ all things I knew didn’t describe me. They tried putting me on medicine but I refused. The only thing I needed was God, not those medicines created by a bunch of atheists pretending to be mightier than He who created them. All those illnesses were just created by the devil to confuse people, to make them dependent on external factors. I didn’t need any of that. I just needed Him. It wasn’t until the start of the second month that God finally reached out to me. He told me, the title didn’t matter. He told me I was anything but sick, I was seeing clearer than anyone before. He reminded me of my destiny and what I was chosen to do. I remembered the joy I felt on that racetrack and how God had done that for me. My faith never wavered again. I accepted I had lost more than just my civil freedom in that protest, I had lost my family too. But what I gained was far better than anything I had before. I found my true potential. I had been self-actualized. They released me early on the compromise that I would start group therapy. I decided to look at it in a positive way; a way to enlighten more people. So that is why I stand here, in front of you guys trying to get my message across and hoping you join me in my fight. I’ve fought to disprove accusations of my sanity and intentions. I am a fighter; I am one of His soldiers. I am a 54-year-old, Roman Catholic priest and I have lived a life with no regrets.”
I took a step back from the podium, and walked back to my seat. I sat amongst the perplexed faces knowing I am smarter than them. The group leader thanked me for sharing and the next person went up.