Carter. Carter McCrum, that’s the name. Born 1994. Your average joe, for now.

 

I was still up, as usual. 2 am, and finishing up my econ essay which I put off until the very last minute. Sipping coffee from my Cornell mug, and typing frantically. My eyes frying from the brightness of my laptop. I was alone in my dorm like most nights, with just the white noise of my small electric fan blowing in my face. My roommate, Mason, always out partying until the morning, but somehow manages to get his work done. For some reason I’m ashamed to admit that I have trouble with my work. I always get it done, but it’s no rollercoaster ride.

I finish. It’s now 7:00 am. I had zero hours of sleep, but like I said that was just another normal night. My first class, political science, started at 9:15, so I had time. I grabbed my towel and somewhat clean clothes sitting on my mattress, and walked down the hall towards the showers.

I took a long shower and almost fell asleep, twice. I got out, and shuffled back to my dorm, I checked my watch. 7:32, it read. I reached my room. 13A. As I went for the knob, the door opened. “Hey Carter, what’s up?” Mason said.

“Oh hey Mason, not much, I just finished up an essay,” I retorted. I didn’t bother asking him about the party or wherever he was last night. He always just does the same thing. He looks away, and says it wasn’t too bad.

“Oh, cool, yeah I’m going to go get a bite to eat across the street, need anything?”

“Nah I’m alright. Thanks though.”

“Yeah okay see you later.”

He left the dorm, and I went back in. Sat in my bunk and laid my head on my pillow, before I knew it, my eyes gently closed, and I was out.

I  awoke an hour later at 8:35. Expecting to be more rested. I felt groggy instead and even more tired. I had a battle between my body and my self esteem. My body won and I closed my eyes for a few moments. Once again at 8:48 I was up, except this time I got of my bunk, slipped my laptop in my backpack, grabbed my wallet and phone, put on my shitty Nikes and headed out. Luckily, my wing of the dorm was right near Goldwin Smith Hall, where my lecture would be held, so I had time.

I strolled through the campus garden, and when I reached the end, I immediately turned left into my favorite part of campus. The cheap little chain restaurants, where I was fit to be. Einstein Bros Bagels it is today, I say to myself. As I walk in, Tony, their manager greets me with a bright smile, which is a bit odd for a bagel place. “Hey Carter, what is it today? Poppyseed toasted with cream cheese?” He asks, or knew.

“Yeah that sounds great,” I reply, trying to say it with enthusiasm.

“What’s wrong Carter?” he says to me.

“Nothing really, but you know it’s just that I’m so close to ending undergrad, and I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Oh don’t worry about that, you’ve already gone through more than three years.”

“Yeah I guess, thanks Tony,” I say.

He hands me the bagel and I start devouring it, because I don’t believe I ate dinner last night. Suddenly my phone rings. For some reason my heart started beating fast. Too fast.

I pick up. “Hel-,” the voice cuts me off.

“4th floor, Goldwin Smith Hall, 3 minutes”

“Who is th-,” I start but the other line hangs up.

I don’t know what the hell just happened, who that was, or why I was apart of it. For some idiotic reason my gut tells me I should go, and at times like this you don’t have time to decide. Tony walks back in, quickly I say goodbye and thank him for the food. I briskly open the door and take a deep breath when I step outside. I look to my left, I see the back entrance to the Goldwin Smith Hall.  

I get walking in the stairwell in front of me. I don’t know what to expect as I get there. I finally dare to look up. Floor #4 the silver plaque reads on the heavy door. Before I go in, I say to myself, Whatever happens Carter, be calm, everything will be alright.

My hand touches the handle, as I start to generate force, opening the door, I feel a sharp monster pain in the back of my head. I fall forward, my forehead hits the wooden floor, and I roll over onto my back. I try to open my eyes, I try my best to open one eye, two large heavyset men dressed in dark clothing grab ahold of my legs and drag me into the room. All of a sudden, a third smaller but heavy man shows a metallic revolver shaped gun, he loads it with a pink dart and aims at me, the dart looks like a tranquilizer, or maybe I say that for just some hope. Some hope that I won’t die. I feel it, it hits me hard, and injects my left shoulder, feeling woozy and nauseous, my eyes close. I’m out. Cold.

 

“What do we do with him?” A voice says.

“Relax Keith, boss said he’s comin’ soon,” says another, lower voice, but not deep enough to be the one on the phone. I pretend to still be out, thinking it’s the best thing to do. Smartest thing. I now realize I’m strapped in a chair unable to move.“A’ight Glenn I’ll relax, but you gotta watch him for now, I’ll guard the door.”

“Okay, go.”

Eyes still closed, but I can still sense and hear that the third short man, wasn’t here.  There was a knock on the door, and then a click. For  reason, my eyes open. Keith opens the door for the short man who strides in. I can now see he’s wearing a black blazer and black pants. Black shirt. He’s also wearing sunglasses hiding his eyes from me. “Hello Carter, I apologize for being late, I had to take care of some business.” He lets out a scary chuckle and so do Keith and Glenn.

“How do you know me?” I ask, not expecting an answer. He smiles now and says, “Carter, I know everybody.” I don’t answer or understand. He reaches into his back pocket, I cringe anticipating a gun. He reveals a package, an orange package, the kind you got your report card from in elementary. Without saying a word he nods to Keith and Glenn. They understand their boss and unstrap me. I slowly try to stand up, knees weak and stiff. I do eventually stand up, and stand tall, trying not to look intimidated. The boss walks up to me close, his head reaches the bottom of my shoulders. He takes the package and pushes it onto my chest and snarls. My hands reach the package, and I hold it. The boss spits on the floor besides, and snaps his fingers towards Glenn. I believe the second in command. Glenn walks to the door and opens it for his boss, Keith follows, and I’m suddenly alone in the room.

I sit down in the chair I was previously strapped into. Before opening the package, I look up around the room. The 4th floor, doesn’t seem too bad to me, just full of sunflower seeds and old cigarettes. Then I understand, it’s not the room itself, it’s what goes on, and who’s there. I look at the package in my hand, it’s slippery now, from the sweat on my hands. I’m anxious to open it, and to never open it at the same time. Deep down, I do know I’ve been picked for a reason. I have to open it. I take my keys out of my back pocket, and slit the package cover open. As I try to look inside, I’m blinded by the darkness. Instead, I reach my hand in. My hand feels cold silver or maybe steel. I feel more of the object, until I realize the object is curved. I go cold. I realize what I’m feeling. A pistol.

 

Here I am sitting at my desk, thinking. I reach into my jacket. I take out the orange package, and set it carefully on my desk. Just noticing, that I have to be aware when Mason is coming back from his classes.  

I decide it’s time. Once again, the same hand reaches in the package. I feel it, and a brief shiver takes over my body. I grip the pistol, and take it out of it’s safe package. I set it on my desk. I notice that the envelope still seems fairly heavy. I shake it upside down to see if any remnants fall out. I was correct, a notecard with rushed writing fell out. Clipped to it was a clip for holding together a big bag of chips that has already been opened. But instead, it was holding together a bundle of cash. My eyes widened as I counted the bills. There was $25,000 dollars bills. I Actually thought there should be more, considering there was a gun in the same package. I pick up the note card. I read it in my head.

 

Hello Carter, I understand you’re not aware of what’s happening. Don’t worry it’s simple, very simple. You must go behind the public library on 9th street at 12:45 am tomorrow, there will be one man sitting on the bench, I’m sure of it. One bullet is loaded in the pistol, if you haven't checked already. You will only need one, just one. You may be thinking to just take the 25K now, and disregard the job, but let me tell you, if you do, I will find you, easily, and you will be forgotten. Forever.

If you do as I say, you will be rewarded with a second package containing 175k. Do what your gut says Carter, and don’t make the wrong decision.

 

I gulped, I was a hit man. I had done nothing wrong in my life before. One more semester, was that was left, and I would get a job, like an adult. My life would be boring, but normal and simple. It would’ve been perfect. But look where I am, how did I get in this position?

 

Now, I had to make a decision, but sadly, I already knew what I was going to do. I was going to kill that man. I would kill him. I had no other choice. The unanimous boss said I would be ‘forgotten’ if I didn’t. I couldn’t even imagine that. Even though I’m practically forgotten already, I know I have a family that loves me. The other side of looking at it is that if I really do this. Everyday of my life from there on out, I would have to live with myself knowing I’m a murderer. My decision was made, I will kill him.

I put everything  back in the package except for the money for which I put under my matress. I then sat down, and thought about my decision. The only thing left was tomorrow.

I was awaken by the daylight. Mason was gone. I don’t bother going to classes today, like yesterday. Too much on my mind, with what I had to do today. Kill someone. Those words made me shudder.

The rest of the day zoomed by me. I didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t do anything, except stroll around campus getting more and more apprehensive and uneasy every minute. I kept snacking, to get everything off my mind. At 12:30 am, I went back up to the dorm to retrieve the pistol. I had plenty of time. 9th street was about only a 10-12 minute walk. I opened the door to my dorm and saw Mason sitting at his desk doing work. He turned around. “Hey Carter where have you been?”

“Oh, I uh I was just out, and I think I might go back actually. I’ve got something to do.”

“Okay, I’m also going to head out,” he said. He put down his pen, and grabbed his jacket. He shut the door behind him. That was too close. Way too close. I opened my bottom desk drawer, and pulled out the gun, out of its safe place. I was slowly running out of time. I put the gun in my jacket and ran out the door. I looked at my watch, now realizing I wasn’t in too much of a rush. I gracefully slowed down.

It was a cold and grim walk to 9th street. I arrived behind the library at 12:43. I had two minutes, and I know everything will be on time. Not early, not late. I hid behind a bush. The one navy blue bench was to the side of me. Empty. It was not occupied yet, but I wasn’t worried. I also knew that I would be able to see them but it would be impossible for the man to see me, due to the street lamp up above.  

At 12:45 on the dot, a young man showed up, and naturally sat down. The gun in my had was getting slippery now, from the sweat of my palms. I finally got a good look at the silhouette. I felt like I recognized him. Then, I shifted over and got a great look at him. There, on the lonesome bench sat my roommate, Mason. What is he doing here? He’s just sitting on the bench doing nothing but staring into the cold darkness of the night. I then remember the gun in my hand, and the reason I’m here. But this changes everything. Everything. The money crept into the back of my mind. I stood up. The demon inside of me was now controlling my body. I didn’t like it, but I was no longer in control. My hand was now lifted higher. My index finger gripped the trigger, and before I had time to think, pressure was put on the pistol. All I heard was the sound of the gunshot. Followed by the horrific noise of Mason screaming in agony and horrid pain. Tears ran down my face as I walked into the darkness of the night, left with the frightening question of, was it worth it?

What the hell have I just done? I thought. What next? I just killed my roommate. My planned out life has been ruined. Terribly ruined, forever.

 

Carter. Carter McCrum. 22 years years old. And now, a murderer. A cold murderer.