Sunday August 28th, 2016
It was my 3rd year of high school. I don’t know how I made it through the first 2 years. Any kid like me would be completely antagonized if people knew. I guess I’m good at keeping secrets. Not even my best friend Hannah knew my biggest secret of all. I haven’t even had to say it out loud before. I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t want to be bullied or terrorized. I just have to survive 2 more years without anyone finding out. No one will ever know, that I’m gay.
Tuesday September 6th, 2016
I jump into my used bmw 3-series to pick up my best friend, Hannah Raven. We live in the glamourous Greensboro, North Carolina, the 3rd most populated city in North Carolina. I live in Sunset Hills on the west side of Greensboro while Hannah lives in Kirkwood on the North side. Sunset Hills is a prestigious neighborhood that is home to all the doctors and lawyers in Greensboro. You can tell you are in the hills once you start smelling the perfectly manicured grass and money. I pull up to Hannah’s house, and she bolts outside with her long blonde hair blowing behind her.
“How was your summer loser?” Hannah asks me.
“I hung out with all the Stranger Things kids, and they said I was cooler than Joe Kerry” I reply.
“I asked how your summer was not your dreams,” she said, smirking.
“You got me. Guess I slept and slept and had a Golden Girls marathon,” I say truthfully
“At least you didn’t have to be at the boutique for 5 hours helping old snobs from the red hat club find the perfect shade of red for their complexion,” Hannah replies annoyed.
“I guess you win,” I say.
“I always win. You should know that by now Ash. Are you ready for another year at Sunset High?” Hannah asks.
“I wish I could say yes, but I don’t want to lie this early in the morning,” I say, now smirking.
“Well I’m excited,” she says matter of factly.
“Hannah Raven, what happened to you over the summer? I’m so disappointed,” I stated sarcastically.
“I grew up, maybe you should too,” she replied quickly.
“I’m glad we are at school because I don’t have a good comeback,” I mumble to myself.
I pull up into the parking lot, and I go right into my spot by all my other friends. As soon as I pull in Hannah leaps out and greets everyone with a hug.
“HAPPY BACK TO SCHOOL!” Hannah yells.
I get out of the car, and I’m immediately greeted by Jonas, the only openly gay kid in our school. Jonas has always made me proud of who I am. But then when I see Lucas behind him I immediately remember why I’m still in the closet. Lucas is a pretty boy who gets all the girls, good grade, and is a star athlete. I forget about Lucas and go into school.
After school is over Hannah, Jonas, Avery, Clare, Ben and I go over to Geeksboro Coffee House to hangout.
“Do you guys want to come and watch movies at my house later?” I offer.
“Yeah sounds good,” Hannah answers
“Let me check my schedule,” then Avery looks down at phone and a second later respond with, “I think I can squeeze it i,” she smiles.
“Ben and I can, we were going to go see a movie anyways,” Clare states.
“Jonas?” Hannah asks.
“Sure sounds good,” he responds.
We finish our coffees and head back to my house. The girls somehow convince us to watch “Mean Girls” even though they know we hate it. After what feels like hours of me sitting on the couch in my basement the movie ends, and I know it's my time to tell my best friends my secret.
“Umm guys,” I stutter.
“Are you okay Ashley,” Avery
“Yeah I just have something I need to tell you guys,” I start.
“Just spit it out dude,” Ben says.
“Well, um, I...I um well,” I can’t speak.
“Ash you know you can tell anything,” Hannah reassures me.
“Well it’s kinda hard to say, but I guess these things are. I’m gay,” I finally spit out.
“Is that it?” Jonas asks.
“What??” I ask confused.
“Why did you find this such a big deal,” questions Clare.
“Well I guess you guys would think it’s weird,” I say.
“Ash, we already knew,” Hannah states. Everyone nods.
“What??” I say again. I’m more confused than ever.
“You’re not very good at hiding your emotions, Ash,” Jonas says.
“Why didn’t you guys just ask me if you knew,” I ask.
“You needed to tell us on your own,” Avery informs me.
“Yeah we don’t care that you’re gay. I mean we are already friends with Jonas so why would we care?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it wasn’t about telling you guys but more about coming to terms with it myself,” I suggest.
“Well I’m glad you got the guts to tell us,” Hannah says.
“Yeah so now I’m not the only openly gay kid in the school,” Jonas states with a sigh of relief.
“Woah now who said anything about telling people at school,” I say with a little bit of worry.
“Well if you can tell us you can tell everyone,” Jonas says almost bossy.
“But I don’t know if I can handle everyone making fun of me like you can,” I respond.
“Don’t Ash, we got your back,” Hannah reassures me.
Thursday September 8th, 2017
The next day, after picking up Hannah, I drive to school with the intention of coming out to people and telling some other people. But of course something had to go wrong. I walk into school with the same negative energy I always have and that’s when I see him. I later find out his name is Kurt. He is a tall, broad shouldered male with lush brown locks and ocean blue eyes. I can just imagine how his shampoo makes his hair smell like fresh berries. Even though I can’t see his face, I can tell how good-looking he is. I know I look like an imbecile standing in the hallway gawking at an unknown strange,r but I just can’t help myself. But the moment is completely ruined when someone bumps into me and I’m brought back into reality. I continue going through my classes not thinking about anything but what Kurt is doing. When I walk to my car I'm surprised to see Hannah and Jonas talking to Kurt.
“Hi,” I say shyly.
“Hey Ash, this Kurt,” she says pointing to my crush.
“Nice to meet you,” I tell him trying to be as cool as possible.
“Thanks you too, Hannah hasn’t stopped talking about how great you are,” Kurt says and I think I blush. I know for sure when Hannah gives me a subtle wink.
“Well I have to go to my mom’s shop, but Kurt, we have a movie every Friday at Ash’s you’re welcome to come,” Hannah offers.
“I think I will come Ash could you give me a ride,” Kurt asks.
“Yeah that should be cool,” I say back quickly, too quickly.
“Well I got to go, but I will see you guys tomorrow,” Kurt says and leaves. Then, I see him subtly wink at me and my legs go weak.
“He’s going to ask you out,” Hannah says completely randomly.
“What??” I ask.
“You love him and he loves you. That was total love at first sight, and he’s going to ask you out tomorrow and you will go to school on Monday holding hands and boom you can come out to the school without saying a word. I’m a genius I know, but I have to go my mom is here so make sure to look nice for tomorrow.”
Then Hannah runs away before I even get the chance to say anything back. I just stand in the parking lot completely dumbfounded. I get in my car, after I realized people were staring and drove home. The rest of the night and the next day is gomes by in a blur and before I knew it I’m pulling into my house with Kurt by my side.
“Woah bro you have a sick house,” Kurt states.
“Thanks my parents are both doctors, so….they’re loaded,” I say blushing.
Kurt and gets out and I follow him into my house where everyone is already waiting in the basement.
“Geez, what took you guys so long,” Ben asks.
“I had to get gas,” I say truthfully,
“Ok who cares, anyways we are watching “Beaches” today,” Clare informs us.
“Sounds great,” Kurt says excitedly.
Once again the movie goes by in a blur and find myself in my car driving Kurt home.
“I had a good time tonight,” Kurt says breaking the silence.
“Me too,” I say very awkwardly.
“Hannah told about how you’re, you know, gay,” Kurt says out of the blue.
“Yeah,” is all I can say.
“I know you are kind of new to this, dating stuff, but I would really like to go out with you sometime because you seem like a interesting guy.”
“I would love to go out with you sometime.”
I drop him off and he gives me a kiss on the cheek. We say our goodbyes and once I see walk into his house I think I start to tear up.
Monday December 19th, 2017
Kurt and I are officially dating but only our small group of friends know it. Today is the day that Kurt and I decided we were going to walk into school holding hands as our way of coming out. As we walk into school people gives us looks but nobody does anything too drastic to insult us, but I do get a few people telling me it’s okay and that they are proud of me. That all stops on Friday.
Friday December 23rd, 2017
Kurt and I walk into school holding hands just we have all week but today Lucas and his “friends” stop us before we get too far.
“You know I have a problem,” Lucas says seriously.
“Really and what’s that because we really don’t care about your problems,” Kurt replies quickly.
“Well my problem is you and your little boyfriend. I can’t have little gay couple running around and having everyone accept this abondimation.”
“It’s not an an abomination to show affection to the people we love. We don’t need to your permission to do anything so please move before you something you will regret.”
“Oh I won’t regret this.”
Then Lucas starts punching at Kurt’s face. Lucas jumps on top of Kurt and starts punching his face left and right. I can see the blood dripping off of Kurt’s face and Lucas’ knuckles. When I start to see Kurt’s eyes flutter as he loses conscious something immediately snaps in me and I jump on top of Lucas and rip him off Kurt right before the principal steps in and drags Lucas into his office while me and Kurt get taken to the guidance counselor. After a long talk with the counselor me and Kurt have to go back to our classes. It’s only till later that I find out that Lucas was expelled for violence and verbal abuse. I after a long day of people congratulating me and telling me that “gay is okay” I walk out to my car only to find Kurt sitting in the passenger sit. Before I can say anything to him he leans over and kisses me.