It crept through my soul like a dastardly beast. It held firm its claws gripping my heart in icy despair. I tried to break from its deafening hold that seemed to swallow me whole. These hands of mine, just not enough to reach into my broken mind. I denied it existed inside defending nonexistent pride. It began to take control, and my resistance only pushed it further. It taunted me with their smiling faces that I wished I possessed. It taunted me with those laughs that I wish I could conjure up from the depths of my aching soul. It taunted me as I wished. My gut started churning as I felt the disconnection grow. The rift separating the words “them” and “me” reminded me of how I’ll never be them and they’ll never be me because “me” is singular person. My heart wrenched as it took over my thoughts once more unsheathing its claws for the long game. Exactly how mismatched, different, catastrophic, and repulsive I was from everyone tucked safely into society settled in. As the insistent yearning for them left me it nestled into its new home that it no longer clawed for. I dragged my lead feet to the drawer and examined the gleam of the edge with my empty eyes. Crimson danced around me shushing the deafening screams I had gotten used to making silently. As sweet silence beckoned me into her waiting arms it gets the last word.
You’ll like it better this way.