Absurdity runs in my family. My brother manipulates irrationality into quips, unable to learn the difference between a conversation and an argument. My mother does not bother teaching him. My brother tries to reason with the unreasonable. He has not given up yet. He is using his newfound ability to conjure adequate points to his favor, and against my mother’s.

I don’t think he really understands the situation. Being the second oldest, he was able to avoid a lot of the truth. He clings onto hope like it is a reason, not a prayer. He watches me struggle through college applications, detached, far away. He closes his eyes to the realization that I am who he is going to become in two years. I don’t know how he will be able to handle it. I think my going away will force us closer in fear.

He and I are never affectionate towards each other. We were both raised on the foundation of verbal affection, yet we can go weeks without really talking to each other. I do not see this as a bad thing. I know nothing else. He is still my brother. I am still his sister.