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Did I really want to stay anymore?

Screaming inside my head,
"Oh for god sake just stop!"

I picked up the gun.

"I could end it all right now!"
"I could pull the trigger and fricking end it!"

Suicide one would call it,
An end to this messed up world I would call it.

Tick. Tick. Tick.
Seconds away from ending it all,
Centimeters from pulling the trigger,
And a moment away from death.

But I live today to tell the story.
You might ask, What stopped me?
What made me stay?

Within those few second between life and death,

The moment between life and death,

I felt what it truly meant to live.

I remembered,
Singing along to my favorite song,
Smiles I see everyday on random strangers passing by,
Laughing at stupid jokes with my friends,
Sitting through every class just to see my girlfriend,
My protective older brother who would beat up anyone who made fun of me for being gay,
My parents who were always supportive of me no matter what I did.

I remembered what it was like to be
Cared about,