Press enter after choosing selection
Grade
7

What you are about to read are all the letters enclosed in a package I received on my doorstep recently. The package was sent by the beloved daughter of both my dear friend and my worst enemy. Perhaps it's surprising that the parent who was my dear friend and the other who was my worst enemy were indeed the same person, or maybe it's not surprising and it's just the way it should be. The person I had learned to hate I had at the same time learned to care for, it sounds like irony, but maybe that's just a true friend, who knows?

Miss Stewerts,

I am sorry, at this moment you are probably wondering what I am sorry for. Well, I am sorry for many things, but I am only sorry for one thing I ever did to you. So yesterday I was walking down the road and I was so hungry and I looked at my dog, who I was walking with, and he was hungry as well. Then I noticed this amazing smell, and then I saw your “flowers,” (there really just weird green plants) and I thought, that smell couldn’t be coming from her flowers as they always smell like literal crap due to your extensive use of fertilizer that really just makes your house smell even worse than it already does. Then I recognized the smell. It was brownies, and this time they weren't burnt. At first, I was just thinking how glad I was to not have another, “great batch of brownies” I would have to discreetly burn in the backyard so you wouldn’t know about, but then I remembered how hungry I was, and so did my dog. Well, my dog remembered first because he dragged me up to your front door, and there I saw them. They were an actual batch of brownies. They were brown and of a normal consistency, unlike your previous... trials. (if you can call them that) So I ate one, and then another and another, and soon they were gone. I’m so very sorry. The brownies were a little bitter, but not terribly. Maybe add more sugar next time. Thank you for your time and again, I’m sorry.

Sincerely, your neighbor. (I’m too scared to tell you who I am)

 

Dear neighbor,

I’ll have you know everyone in the entire neighborhood loves my brownies., with the exception of you of course. I don’t know why you would think otherwise. And the fact that you don’t appreciate my cooking just show that really can’t comprehend the true extent of my cooking. And I will have you know that I use just the right amount of fertilizer. I’m sure you wouldn’t know that though because all of your plants must DIE! Besides, my exotic plants need the excess amount of soil to grow properly. Next, referring to how you commented on the smell of my house, I will have you know that it smells that way because we compost here. I am saving the environment! It’s people like you who are letting the environment die along with the rest of the human race. You even release co2 into the air because you are burning my brownies. Before you attempt to insult my living style, you should access your own. I hope you get this letter, I assume you will because I set it out with some of my cousin's brownies, as I know you enjoy so much. By the way, you are not forgiven and I will find out who you are!

Miss Stewerts

 

Dear neighbor,

I know you received my letter because the letter and the brownies were gone, and yet I have still not seen a response! I feel that I should have some form of response for all the work I put into those brownies and the letter. You don’t seem to appreciate how hard it is to… work! I would deeply appreciate a decent apology, but you can’t seem to handle that.

Miss Stewerts

 

Miss Stewerts,

I realize my apology may not have been the most well received. I am again very sorry that I ate those brownies but dear lord I did not expect a response. especially a very targeted letter explaining how terrible my letter was. If I have offended you in any way I am deeply sorry, but I said nothing that I thought to be a lie, in fact, I have most certainly told you many more lies to your face. I may be a fantastic lier, and some may call me terrible for that, but I will always write the truth. You have just been the most recent victim of realizing the truth behind the many neighborly lies that our neighbors have deceived you with. Honestly, I feel you should be more thankful that these people cared about you enough to tell you your brownies are good. In fact, they continued to do so even after you, insulted Mays dog, Johns motorcycle, Terrie's pool, and Kathleen's solar panels. I mean how do you even insult solar Panels, there saving the environment! Speaking of which, about your compost pile, that is against the rules in this neighborhood because it smells so terrible! You can go to a public compost pile you would still be saving the environment and would be saving our noses. So, I am sorry that this happened but I regret nothing, as a sign of my apology I have enclosed cookies, thank you and good day.

Mr. Reed

 

Mr. Reed,

I believe you to be very rude and think that you should take time to practice your manners and I will have you know that Kathleen’s solar panels were very big and distracting for drivers and that’s why I hated them. I want a formal apology for everything! Thank you.

Miss Stewerts

 

Miss Stewerts,

I am not interested in listening to you ramble on about frivolous matters that have no logical standing, why I have indulged you for this long continues to confound even me. What point is there to argue logically with a person who doesn't logically understand the world. You have little to no compassion for anyone and honestly, after a while, this has become tiresome.

Mr. Reed

 

Mr. Reed,

I know that I have caused a lot of people trouble and I wish there was something I could do to fix that, however it seems, unfortunately, I will not have the time to do that. I have enjoyed talking to you even though we have disagreed on many different points, I have enclosed these cookies, I hope they are better than my brownies. Goodbye.

Miss Stewerts

 

Miss Stewerts,

What do you mean? I have enjoyed talking to you too, but what do you mean goodbye? I am sure that everyone will and does forgive you for your actions, but are you leaving?

Mr. Reed

 

Miss Stewerts,

Answer me, how could you leave see such a strange letter and not respond?

Mr. Reed

 

Miss Stewerts,

Answer me!!! Please I am worried

Mr. Reed

 

Mr. Stewerts,

I am so sorry for your loss, please accept my brownies and my condolences. She added much life and character to the neighborhood, it won’t be the same without her.

Mr. Reed

 

Mr. Reed

I am thankful that you were there to talk to my mother the months before she passed, I know that she enjoyed her conversations with you as much as she hated them, I hope that you liked talking to her too. I know that if she were here she would want you to have the letters, she saved all of them, so they’re in the package with this letter. Thank you for being there and I hope you are enjoying your new life in New York, goodbye.

Ms. Stewerts

State
MI
Zip Code
48130