My head was hurting from the crying I’d been doing throughout the day. All the emotions taking a toll on my body. Every time I walk into the church, and look at his lifeless body, my eyes just fill with tears. Similar to when our town pool get filled with chlorinated water in June, just before all the anxious children get out of school. I remember the night that I found him. It was like every other Wednesday afternoon.

I had just gotten home from school. I removed my backpack and coat, then placed them on the table. It was awfully quiet, the only sounds to be heard were my healed feet walking across the hardwood flooring. I Remove my shoes and trot up the stairs. I went to inform my brother of my presence. I went up to his room, taking no notice of his weirdly designed door. I knock on the door and say, “I’m home.” Shocked when I don’t get a response, I knock again. “You okay in there?” When all I can hear is my own breathing, I sign and turn the handle. I was not expecting what my eyes were met with. My brother, the boy who protected me and cared about me, was hanging from the ceiling. His skin pale as snow in the cold wintertime. You’d think that if you were ever in that situation, you would scream, cry, maybe even fall to the ground. Except, you don’t. You just stare dumbfounded. In fact, it took me 5 whole minutes to even move a single muscle. Although, as soon as I did I was on the ground screaming. I couldn’t handle it. In a flash, an ambulance was pulling up to my house, though I never called it, and was hauling my brother out on a stretcher.

I am still haunted by that day. Seeing a person you’ve known since birth, taken out of your life forever. Life had become very dull since he died. There was no one pestering me at dinner time, or making fun of my middle school drama. No one had even been inside his room since the funeral. It’s been a week since the funeral. I still had this deep hole in my heart, like something was missing. It was currently 10:46 pm, I was sitting on my bed. Surrounded by nothing but silence.  My mother yells, “Go to bed!” I fall backwards somehow already being covered by blankets. My eyes fall shut, not taking a large amount of time to fall into a deep slumber. My recent dreams have been nothing but darkness. No happy dreams about my brother, or even nightmares about him. Just blank nothingness. Oddly enough, tonight was different. I feel water on my feet, like I’m walking in a shallow river. I observe my surroundings, I was shocked to see a man sitting in a chair, about 7 feet away from me. I slowly walk towards him, my feet getting more soaked with every step. When I reach the figure, I stop my movements. “Hello?” He raises his head. A gasp leaves my mouth, I see my brother. His eyes are as bright as the last day I saw him. He smiles, “Are you real?” He nods. My mind is full of disbelief. “How?” He points to an empty chair next to him, which I didn’t realize was there. I sit. “When I took my life, I expected some white light, or a god to take me into heaven. When I died though, It was just another world. A room if you will, full of memories and happiness of when I was alive.” My mouth was gaping open. “Then how am I here?” He gives me a sad look. My confusion grows, “Your dead, like me.” My heart started beating unhealthily fast. “That’s not true! Your lying!” I yell at him. “I was just fine when I went to sleep!” He sighs, “Meredith, why would I be lying?” He asks with an desperate look on his face. I shake my head, tears starting to stream down my face. “I-I don’t know. Maybe my head is messing with me, or something.” I start pacing around the black room. “I don’t think it is Mer.” My whole body collapses, sobs rack my body. “This can’t be happening!” He gets up and wrapped his arms around me. “Come on, let’s get you out of here.” I nod my head, still crying profusely. He walks me to a brown door, his arm still wrapped around my shoulder. He opens the door, and it reveals a bright room. The room holds a strong resemblance to a hotel, with a front desk and benches scattered around the room. “Hello Thomas!” A commercial dress woman exams. She was standing at the front desk. “Hey Gladis, this is my sister Meredith.” She gasps, “Well, hello Meredith. We are pleased to have you here.” I wave shyly. I look around the lobby and see a mirror. I depart from my brother. I slowly walk over to the mirror, I see dried tear stains and smeared mascara. I feel a wad of tissues being pushed into my hand. I look up to see Gladis smiling kindly down at me. “Oh honey, it’s not that bad.” I sniffle. My brother grabs my hand, “Come on, let’s get you to your room.” I nod. I am leaded into a blue room. Inside is the bed from my room. All around the room are pictures of my friends and me, my family and pets. I run my hand along the walls and curtains. I swiftly turn around, “How did I die?” I ask my brother. He gives me a sad look, identical to the one he gave earlier. “Ughh, I think Gladis said it was Sudden Cardiac Arrest, or SCA for short.” I nod my head and turn back around. “Fourteen years of school, chores, and family drama to die of SCA.” I chuckle. I had always wanted to go out being a hero, I guess that didn’t happen. I take a seat on the bed, “So this is it, huh.” Thomas nods. I remove my shoes, and curl up under the covers of the bed. “Thanks for bringing me here, Tom.” He smiles. “Any time little sister.” I turn onto my stomach and close my eyes. Slowly, I drift off to sleep, hoping to forget all that has happened in the last twenty four hours.