I used to love spring…
Remember when you and I used to play
in the new fields of dandelions
with fuzzy heads like feathers?
We’d flit among the cool, silky green grass
and boundless fields of bold, blushing flowers
like little butterflies -
seeing everything in bright color.
We’d sit on big flat rocks
taking in the friendly warmth of the sun
for the first time in months.
Every year, we’d race to the park to see
fluffy yellow ducklings paddling
in the river,
feeding them crumbs of bread
we’d begged mama to let us bring.
We lived for the weekends
flying princess kites,
the sweet warm breeze caressing us.
I felt I could fly higher than a kite
like I could do anything with you by my side.
Oh, did I love spring.
A year after you were taken from me though -
can you blame me
for hating it?
Instead of flying, I feel buried
under frozen impenetrable ground
Fields full of bluebells, wobbly-legged baby deer
funny-shaped clouds -
all remind me
you’re not here
But today is your birthday
I owe it to you to try again
I place a bouquet of your favorite
hyacinths and orchids
on your grave.
Close my eyes, feel the
cool, calming breeze brush my face,
drying my tears.
The birds’ songs are so lively and airy -
I can hear your voice in them
like how we used to sing along
to the old radio.
I touch the grass
smell it’s crisp sweetness
I can feel your spirit in me
your angelic smile
and warm hug
you are everywhere
in the gentle spring breeze
in the sweet fragrance of the tulips
in the comforting warmth of the sun
Maybe I can start loving spring again.