Wit And Wisdom

Eggs that como to market packod in layers ought to be fresh enough.- N. O. Ficayune. - The man who leaves two-thirds of a cigar in a dark nook on the frontdoor-stoop when he goes to see his girl will make a thrifty husband.- Chicago Tribune. By a nearly unanimous vote, the women of this country have decided that the two best bands are a hus band and a band box. - Phüadelphia Ghroniclc-Herald. -School boy's deflnition of herbage: "H, e, r, b; age covered with grass." Goes to the front and the teacher ers hini with a rulo that worKs Dom vvays. - Hackensack Republicun. -In Chicago 119 gallons of water per capita is consumed per day, while in St. Louis the quantity is only 56 gallons. The difterence in the quality of the beer accounts for it.- Alhany Argus. - While nioving a log recently, Milo Parsons, of Northville, Conn., found himself suddenly covered from head to foot with hornets. Want of space forbids the publication of his remarks.- Boston Transcript. - The weak, cracked voice of the litÜe old maid up in the gallery is just as sweet to the One in whoso praise the hymn is raised as the bell-like notes of the high-prioed soprano in the choir.-Philadefohia Item. - An uncorked vial of oil of pennyroyal left on the ledge of your window or on a table at the head of your bed will drive away mosquitoes. - Household Manual. Ah, no. Mosquitoes wou't go for a cent. - Grapliv - There's one woman in Chicago who knows what's what. She has some fine clothes which she wets and hangs on the clothes-line every day, just as if they were different garnients of setts, and thea her old ootton goods which she uses are dried in the back garret where the neighbors can't see them. - Boston Post. - It is asserted that after a few drinks of both liquids no man can distinguish claret from buttermilk by the taste, and this statement has been proved by experiments. Thero is nothing remarkable about that, however. Beyond a certain point, which is ordinarily reached by one a. m., veiy few men can teil the difference between whisky and selt.er, espeeially if he takes them together.- Burlington Eawkeye. ... . i - "And what is your name.'' saiu Spicer, as the porter gave the finishing; touch to his calfskins. "Mark, sur," said the Hibernian, as he gathered his brushes. "Sorry," said the questioner; "you won't live long. Death loves a shining Mark," and depositing a shining mark in the polisher' s hand, he strolled away, leaving the old man of brushes to ask the nearest row boy "F'what that quare ould felly meant by that?"-