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Wit And Wisdom

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- The man with a creak in his boots should never suffer thirst. Boston Transcript. - A farmer can raise amortgage with a plpw more readily than with a derrick. - Boston A'lverliser. - A lady at Saratoga, who is very fond of fried sausage, appears at breákfast dreised in white satin. - Confidence and trust are beautiful thiugs. Too much trust, however, kills a grocer store. - A'. O. Picayu,ne. - Tho niiiulicr of brides who havo visited Niágara Falls t;his year is 428, and all bui oiic triod to look if they had been wives ior fourteen years. - JVIrs. Yonngwonian wants to know "what is the best way to mark t&ble linen." Leavo the baby and a blackberry pie alone at the table for three minutes'. - Button TTCCn&crtpt. - "Üur hearts, ourlhoughts, ourvery beings grow bender with age," said the pastor, thoughtfully. True, brother, liuL huw different it is wiih ohicken3. - i'. 1'. (raihtc. - A S .iiiih End nmn asked a ouearmed oigan grinder if he was a survivor of thii late wan, and the organist rqplied: "Hang it, do I act as though I was killed in itr" - llm-lou Post. - Relativas are au abs lute ueeessity to some ]!O)le. Il aservant girl hasn t got au aunt who is siek, and reqairea some one to spend the nigat with lier, how is tho girl to get out to the circus? - " Thtii'u Are No Uirds in L:ust Years Nests" is the title of the latest song. Simicthiug to the effect that there are no buttons on this year's shirts would be more trulhful, il' not quite so roniantiu. - Chicago Tribune. - A circus manager wa:ited a new name for his show, and a dophomore oollegian suggested "monohippio aggregation" as good, and the circus man had got three lowns billed before he as informed that "monohippio" meant " one horse." - Boston Post. - It is sometimes said that the apbrentice i- the most oareful of barben; but recentiy one was employed in one of the down-town shops with sucli ill mocess that the court piaster trade berami: very active, and his employer said: " Johnny, you have missed your vocation. You would do better at opening oysters." -■teoênt excavations al Pompeii brought lo light a hen's nest with thirteen eggs in it. They had been lightly covered in the ashes and preserved, and the Bnder took them home and put them onder a hen and twelve of them hatched. The question novv is, How long wiil those ohiokent havo to be kopt befn-e they are up to Öie boarding-house Standard of age? - " Why," some writer asks, "sa brilliant man loss brilliant with his wife 1 1 ■ 1 1 1 with aoy one olso?" Well, we supposo sIk.1 aska him for inonoy oftener Lhan any one elso. 5Tou lake to borlowing iiiini". regutarly and contantly ui' yoin dcarest and most brilliaDl friend, :ind ser what will bf-oiie of his


Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat