Wit And Wisdom

- American socialism will never extenil beyond the umbrella. - lurner'a Falte lieporler. - " All things come to kira who waits," aud the hotel waiter expects a quarter uow and then. - N. O. Pioayune. - When a woman wishes to cut another on the street, she puts on a stare that is straighter and more uuflinehing tlmn that of a headüght on a locomotivo. - Meriden Recorder. - The shiver which gallops up and down aman's legs as he rises to parade around and look lor burglars is another warning that suniiner nas faded and fall is here. - When you see two doos growling and getting ready to fighit, remember that it is only a joint debate, and the liveliest dog will get away with the joint. - New Haven Ueqister. - A Seymour mechanic who picked up a piece of hot metal by mistake, let go of it so quickly as to throw his shoulder out of joint. This is the fastest time on record. - Danbury News. - An exchange, speakingof apolitical meeting, says: "David Davis sat on the Chairman's riglit hand." That Chairman's hand must resemble a jelly-tish af ter a log has been rolled over it. - Boston Transcript. - There is a Mrs Lowrie drifting about the West who calis herself "a reformed actress." Sho can'tconsider that anything remarkable, as lots of actresses are reformed every night bef ore going on the stage. - Boston ïost. - The worst cut up man of the hour is that Western reporter who, in deseribing the appearance of the belle of the town at a local picnic, intended to say that she looked au fait, but of courso the t'pes liad to get it "all feet!" -