Ignorance Stalking Through The Land

A .jupie of Third Ward ultiKena mei c.ili otheron thesidewalk Isst Mondáv inoniing ís they wt-iv staring Cor their places oi business, and une of thein, a man who resides on van Buren streef asked the othev, ;i .Tnckttoti-streei man, if cows IimiI Rnyfroni tëöfch m tftéir Hpperjaw. The .lackson-stleel in;in was a Hule aatonished at tbe guestion, as there had been nothing said about cows, luit replied promptly. "Why, (ifroursc tin- have frorii teeth on their upper jaw: how dould they bita mi grasa 11 they hadn'l .J" Tlm Van iJuicn-stn-i-i man said il va.s nol a (iiestion of Logic, liui a queation offact;and If the Jackson-street man did not knovv whether cows had frout teeth on the npper jaiv not. Ire ouglit tosayso. -I did not ak lor your opinión." lie said, 'i asked it yon knew." Tlie .)arkson-st reet man wasalittle neltled al this, and replied with soine. warmth. lie said if he had a cliild three years oíd who would ask sucha question as that, he shonld be afráW the i-liild was an idiot. 'ou would V" "I ceitainly should." "Tlicn," said liie Van üiiren-slreet man "a.s it is sucli a simple question, óf course yon can teil me wheth'er cows have got. front teeth cm tlmir upper, jaws or whetlier they have not." "Wliy, if course üiey have." "Thev have, eh?" "Ves." "I'U bet you $10 tliey haven't" said tlie Van Buren-streei citizen, pulling out a roll of hills, and peeling off a vouple of livcs and shaking theni at his neighbor. "Put up oí shut np." "Theri: is some infernal calcli about tliis íhing," said the other, suspicioualy; "I might liavc. known t, too, Un1 minute yon asked me sndi an infernally iliotic ipiestion." "No eatch at all aliout it," tepHed the other, "if cows have gat front keeth on tlicir upper jaws the $10 is yoiirs. If they haven't the money is mine. Nothing could lie fairer than inat, eould there?" 15ut still tlie Jackson-atreet man hi'sitatecl. It was barely possible that ciiws lid not havt' any t'ront i --t 1 1 on tlieir upper jaws. I J tí ícnicinlicrrd. Uien, that cows n biting off graas always tliiew üieil1 tioses ontward, while horses ñipped it ofl by Jérkihg their nosc inwanl. If(t was astonfoheel al bOW ncar lie liad coinc lo 1 efalg victimized, l)iit he (lid not likc to conic down. The two were then aeai the meat maiket at the córner of Jackson and Michigan Btreeta, and the Jackson streel man was snrc that a butcher would know t'or rcrlain whether or dot cows had front teetli on their upper jaws: so lic pushed open the door and said to the proprietor: "Linehan, have cows gol front teeth on tlicir Upper jaws?" Linehan was running a skeweï tliroiljfh a róafit Oí lieef. luit he stopped, Looking up in astonislnne.nl, and said. "What?" "Have cows got front teeth on their npper jaws v" "Cöws?" "Yes." 'loot front teclh on their upper aws?" . "Ves." "TJpon iny word I don'1 know." "You don't know ?" "No. Von sec 1 Imy my heef hv the (M liter at the StaUghter house, and (loii't hae anything to do with the heads. J5ut 1 can Bnd out lor you when 1 fii over." "1 wish you would." So the Jacksoii-streel man dosed tlie door, and rejoined his neighbor, and the two walked alon; without sayisg a word. A milk wagon was sean com ing up the street, and it was resolved to hailthe driver and ask liini thequoation, as it ík pöpülarly supposed that milkuien are more or less familiar with cows. The Van lluren-sticet eitizen clearod his throat and yellcd, Ilcllo!" The niilkman reined up, and said: ■■(o ahead with your tests, [f you lind any water or chalk iuthatniilk I'll e you the v. hole of t." The citieiis told hini to ln cahn, as thev had no intention of testing liis milk. hut only wantcd to know ii'cows l.ad front teeth on their upper jaws. The inikinan looked at tiieni ahoul a minute, and then wtripped up his liirscs and drove off, mentioiiinji some kind of a fooi that they were. l'p on W'isconsin streel they saw another niilkman. deliveriiifr milk. and iiigliim tlipy yxplained the dispute, lic smiled pityingly upori tfieir gnorance, ;,])d said: "Of course eóws liaVë front teetli on their upper ;i (hivclin idiot ouglit to know that lunch. A cow vvould 1' a liandsoine lookii(g object without any front teeth in her upper j:iw, wouldn't Bhe?" "I've coricluded to take tliat bel of yotirs," said tlic JnekSOIl street man to the otlier. "Coiné, now, down witli your dust. Put up OT simt up." "Whv didn't yuu do it. Uien, wlicii you had a cliaiice? i liever claiined to know wheUier a cow had front, teeth' on lier upper jaw or nót; I only Ihouglit I had read 80 suincwhere, and a-i'.ieil to soe if you knew aliout it ifs (rtain. Hut now that the thing N set lied, tliere is nothing t ln-t OH as L can see." "O, of course not," said the Jickaon street man, sarcastically, "of óourse not.'' .lust then Mr. Clark, of the Xeuliall house bappened along, and as the milkinau picked up his lines and drove uit. the Van Huren street man askeel Mr, ('lark if be knew anythiiig about cows. Mr. ('lark said he lid. haviug fonnerly lieen a farmer and a cattte buyfer. "Well," said the Vl Huren slreeter. ■do vciii know 1 got toe queerest idea in my head í his morning aliout cows that' a man ever liad, hjomfhow or other I fot an idea that rowp had po front teeth on the upper jaw : and I áotually ollcrcd to liet ten dollars wit1-: this 'man that this was the case. I don t sec wbat possesspd me.' 'W'i'll. if ,Mii liad liet yon wonld have won the monpy," said Mr. Clark. "What!" rxclaiiiic.l both rilizrtm together. -I say if you had bet yon would liavc (iu thè naoney, for cowa have lip iïont teeth nu tbeir upper vws." "Sweel spiril hear iny prayer," said the Van Buren-street citizen, as lie liioiiiilii nut ti is roll, and peeled ofl Mie I uu lips uirain ainl sliiiok tliciii al the .lackson-slrcft man. who tiirnnl Bway ith a sickly sinilc and said he röuld nut always lie pulliiigout lus inon1! tgnorance aeeino lo e stalking thiougL the land like a graiwlip]r on stilts. Peclté s. Mr. Frederic Axtluir I.aw. baving presumed U contracta miirriage wiih ni Engliali v;inl in Chancery withoul proper appllciition i the Vice-Chancel lor, ainl on l'raiiilulint representations, has bo n comtnitted to prisori, Tlie Court iiiiscwccl tlKit the Vmmg lady wus entitlwl to ;i donHiderable fortimp, uní intiiiiMtfd tlinl tlial was Mr. l.aw's iiuluctíiiitíiil td mam her.