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Leisure Moments

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A winter resort - I slip. The candle-wick is up to siuiff. Sic transit- An ambulance wagon. Boarding house eoíTee is a mocha-ry Is an undertaker'sshopabier saloon? It is an ill wind tliat blows snow good. Mincing matte- Making Christmas pie. Familiar quotations- The price oL stocks. Is it the same oíd leaf that is turned over every year ? A new adapUition reads: "Far (rom the oíd Tox at hoine." An American Presidenta $50000 a year ard i )red T.ieietisr K is '!:e nianv men. It ís th livst ia eveiy-hing; but emls io smoke. Halsters are very susceptible to the tender passion- they frequently at-t mashed. Oatehing the scarlet fever is a rasb act, but a thin slice of bacon is a "raslipr." A man never looks so mach like a red-handed villian as when told by the photographer to -look pleasant. A Galveston Sunday School teacher asked a pupil how many sacramenta there were? ïhere aln't any mora left." "Well, I heard that our sick neighbor received the last sacrament yesterday; [so tlicie ean't be anv left over." A school mistress, while taking down t'ie name and age of her pupils, andoftheir parents, asked one little feUow, "What's your fathers name?" "Oh, yoa needn"l take down hls name, he's íoo oM to go to school toawoman," was the innocei.'u replv. ? A man having announced that lie was once in a community where tliey all minded Uieir own business, his statement was ('ou'oted, and he was called upon to teil where it was. "It was on board a sliip ai sea, and the pasaengera were all too sick to meddlc with one another's affairs." That was a witty man who, being detained by a bnow blockade inned i dispatch whicli ran thus: "My dear .sir, I have every motive for vfsiuing you, except a locomotive " So was the oilier man. uruler similnr circumstanees, telegraphed to bis (lira in New York: I shall not be in tie oflice to-day, as I bare not got home yesterday vet." „v m The last sitterat a private dinnei in Scotlund, wlio liad at lengtli made up liis mind that il was time to retire, announced hJsintention tolhe butler; and, faneying tliat he saw somctliing likc a smile in the servant's face, he turned gravely round, saying: Ah, John, I think I'll go to bed; bu . l'm no f'ou' John, mind that, l'm no i ie leftst fou'; but l'm just fatiguetl wi' drlnking1. A man in a western state drives an ox team that once belonged to an intemperate mar. and .hat got so used to sionping for hini a. saloons that now, wlien paasln-ï i süIíkhi, tlie animáis wH not move ur ' tlieiv new ovvner gors in to geta drink. Ue daeént care lor t lio liquor, he sars, but is obllged to drink to get liis team along. He has refused $5,000 for th oxen.


Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat