Humorous

As usual, some beld and daring newspaper man rises to remark that, "The prettiet tliintf in autumn bonnets are the faces." Give us the faces and anvbody can have the bonnets - who wants to pay for them ? At a recent fashionable wedding, the chime bell ringer was requested to play something lively as tlio contracting parties were enteiing the church. Imagine the:r surprise wlien the bells sent forth, "The Torpedo and the Whale." "Doctor, my daughter seems to be going blind, íind sho's just gettingready for her wedding, too! Oh, dear me, what is to be done?" "Let her go right on with the wedding, madame, by all means. If anything can open her eyes, marriage will." "There were three and a half hours lost by you this morning, sir," said a superintendent to a tardy teacher. "Why, I was only half an hour late," said the teacher. "True," replied the superintendent; "but there were seven echolars waiting a'l h tt time for you!" "The Bible is so strict and old-fashioned, said a young man to a gray-hairH'I friend, who was advising Mm to rtudy God's Word if he would learn how to live. "There are plenty of books written nowadays that are moral enough in their teaching, and do not bind one down as the Bible does." The old merchant turned to his desk and took out two rulers, one of which was slightly bent. With each of these he ruled a line, and silently handed the ruled paper to his companion. "Well," said the lad, "what do you mean?" "One line is not straight and true, is it ?" Wnen you mark out your path in Ufe, do not take a crooked ruler!" Londoners will soon be able to take sea-baths without going away from home. All opposition to the measure to construct condults from Lancing on the Sussex coast to London has been withdrawn and the system will be in running order in seven years at the furtheat.