Some New Geography

'What is an ocean?" "An ocean is a large body of water entirely suirounded by British shipyards and cavered v.ith British snipping." "What is a strait ?" "Three fingers of whisky without any water in it." "What do we mean by l.ittitude ?" "Perraitting an office-holder to rob the people and get into Canada with his swag." 'What course would ui American steamertake in going from New York to Liverpool?" "Don't know. It has been so long since one tried it that she woüld probably bring up in San Francisco." "What is a navy Y" "A choice collection of three or four oía üuiks whieh can be cut dowu qr built up whenever an appropriation oífers a chance to steal." "Wliat are our principal iraports f rom Iiussia?" "Xihilists and canards. "Wliat are our principal exports to Spain?" "Wooden-head ministers." "Whatisagulf?" "The distai.ce between the average hot 1 cleik aad the guest who wants a front room on the second floor." 'Where are the principal whaling grounds of the world ?" "In the district school-houses of America." "What is the climate of Peru?" "It has been red-hot for a year past, but is cooling off some," "In going from Jíew York to San Francisco by water, what capes would jou pass?" "Wouldn't go by water Editors always liave passes to go by rail." "Where does our best coffee come from ?" "From the grocery." "What is an absolute monarchy ?" "It is a system of government under which one man does all the bossing and keeps his eye i ut for cold poison, torpedoes, powder-mines and pistol-balls." "What isa limited moiarehy?" "A system of government under which the people pay all the expenses and the ruler has all the fun." "What is a republic?" "A sort of orphan asylum for crimináis." "ïhat will do for the present. You can take your seats and see which one of you can first discover the correct answer to: -What celebrated navigator tnvented the gin-sling?'" - Free Press'. John Roach, the great iron ship builder, waa made executor of a will twenty years ago, by which $10,000 was lef t to him in trust to be paid to Margaret Kirby, when she becanie of age. The girl's guardián sent her to the Roman Catbollc orphan asylum in Prince ítreet, New York, whence she was stolen after a few years, when on the street one day. Mr. Roach has been looking for the girl for some yéara, and hasjust found her living as the adopted daughter of a man and woman naiiied McMahon. The seemingly incredible statement that the cost of fences in the United States amounts to considerably more taan the National debt, is given color by the Bureau of Statistics of Indiana, which says that the fences of that State, if extended in a single line, would go around the world nearly 14 times. Their aggregate lengt) t is put down at 344,000 miles, and tbeir total eost rotless than $200,000,000.