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The Household

The Household image
Parent Issue
Day
15
Month
June
Year
1882
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Fifty years ago "legs" was alniost a tabooed word in polite society, and, if Capt. Maryatt's evidence is worth anything, women ia the United States did up the lower limbs of their pianos in frilled mufllers. Forty years ago, wlien I carne into the nursery to show a knee rasped and bleeding f rom a f all on tho gravel walk, I was hushed up with, "Fie! what a word ! Little ladies haven't knees. Their feet ore pinned to the bottom of their pantalettes I" Thirty years ago, young girls in describing the antics of "tipping tables," told how "the thing actually lifted up itsioe - and tapped on the iloor." Only twenty years since, a wife of ten years' standing, in writlug to another woman the account of her sister's illness and death, mentioned that, three days before her decease, "her limb became very painful and began to swell rapidly." Your Mamie, more fortúnate than these adherents to a mockmodest fashion, is permitted the ownership of as steady a pair of legs as her brother can boast, unveiled by pantalettes ; her stockings gartered, the mother does not blush to say, above the knees, or held up by an elastic baud attached to the waistband. See to it that she is taught their use as early and as thoroughly as she acquires the command of her arms and hands. it is strange that even fashionists and purista should overlook the importance of developing at tliisperiod the muscles of a girl's hips, thighs, and vertebral, as the portions of her frame upon which coming seasons will lay most weight and strain. We have back-boards, braces, dumb bells, and calisthenic drills for making shoulders straight, arms strong, and chests deep. But it is esteemed hoydenish to run, not to speak of the danger of making the foet large. The latter objection obtains to stout walking-shöes with broad toes and low heels, and preference is given to the narrow French boot, the tapering heel of which is far enough forward to leave a "lovely" small track in mud or dust. Jumping, racing, and climbing, ii not prohibited, are never encouraged, by those who are bent upon the cultivation of a 'graceful carriage" in their young daughters. If your ambition in this regard is subordínate to your desire that Mamie shall be healthy and comely, with the free graces of youthful vigor, insist that she shall walk, winter and sucnmer, and in all weathers, steppiug out as do Willie and Jack, instead of mincing along, pigeon-wise; or tottering above the fashionable fulcrum set beneathher instepLet her hold her shoulders back and head up, and not f eel obliged by decorum to cross or join her hands on the pit of her stomach and keep them there, skewered by fashion as inexorably as the wings of a trussed fowl to its plump sides. How many scores of times have you heard school-girls - and older women - beg, "Give me something to hold. I never know what to do with my hands in the street 't" Parasol, fan, a green spray, a la Madame de Stael, even an empty envelope is a relief to the gaudierie of those who never suspect the trouble to be, not with the hands, but with what our mothers would have designated as the "lower limbs." They can sit, stand, dance, bur not one in forty knows how to walk. The gliding step, borrowed from the minuet, the tip-toe, the Grecian bend, are, as Beau Brummel's valet said of the crumpled cravats - "some of our failures." Our streets are f uil of slouching women, tripping women, sliding and skipping women, and- most frequent as most ungraceful among stout, middle-aged matrons - with waddling women, these carrying their feet so near together that - to borro w a veterinary phrase - they 'iuterfere' at every step. Ask your husband or brother what proportion of the ladies whom lie escorts on promenade and picnic f all naturally and easily into step with him ; how many can accomplish a sharp run for train or boat, or emulate swift Camilla in scouring the plain in chase of tennis, oi croquet-ball. Mamie lias feet. Do not pinch them at the toe or raise the heel too high. Continuing the subject, do not impede circulation or paralyze muscle by tight buttoning at the ankle or too close ligatures above or below the knee. ïhe clothing about the hips should be loóse and light, che waist uncorseted imtil it takes on, of itself, the curves of womaaly shapliness. And Ier her play with her brothers, if she Las any. IL not, with the best-mannered little boys she knows. I am not ignorant of the disgracef ui truth that some brothers are not fit playmates for their own, or "other fellows"'sisters.They have"ugly ways,"the regretof mother and nurse. Tbat is, they have unseemly tricks of language and actior', such as no "little lady" should hear and see, much less imitate. They abjure all forms of eourteous address; are rude to brutality in their games, and their speech is replete with slang, profanity, and filth. A half, or even quarter-likeness to this type of nascent manhood is, of all things. least desirable for our girl-child. For her sake, then, if for no other reason, would it not be shrewd measure to make our little lada- if not "half-girls"- yet enougli like them in gentleness of meanor to one another, and in cleanliness of tongue to become their sister's companions in sport and talk ? The dissociation of the sexes, by the time school-life begins, is pregnant with hurtful influences to both. "As coarse and rough as a boy" is the girl's condemnation of an over-lively mate, wliile the boy insults the schoolfellow less adventurous than himself by declaring him to be "as lily-livered as a girl." I would have our boys pure and modest, our girls brave. If the early practical effect of the system of sisterly or neighborly intercourse is to make Willie ashamed of his dirty hands and frowzled hair.and Jack's freckled face to color beet-red when the oath or ribald word nearly escapes his tongue, it is a promising experiment. To Mamie it will open a new world of interest and delight. She is safer, and assuredly happier, paddling with bared feet in the sun-warmed brook, orsittingonthe bank catching minnows, or tramping the meadows in quest of partridgenests, or building sorts, stone iu summer, snow in winter, or taking her part in the sham-flght bef ore and behind the redoabt, that when closeted with her bosorn-friend, to exchange thrilliug confidences about costumes and gowns in esse and in posse; the last squabble with the soul-sister's immediate predecessor, and the "nice f ellows" who are reported to have pronounced the palpitating pair to be just perfeetly lovely." Í was merry, I was merry, When ray litüe lover carne, Witü a lily or a chcrrj, Or soine new-inventöd game. So, we who wero girls thirty years since, used to sing. With sueh sinless offerings let our boya invite their girl-chums to frolic and f un, nualloyed by dreains of growth or cbange. "If I do notgive niy children innocent pleasure3 at home, they will seek objectionable ainusements abro:.!," said a sagacious pavent. Invite the boys frankly to "come and play witli my little girls," and encourage such forms of diversion as they can enjoy togetlier. Contrive tea-parties, charades, reacllng-circles, and the like pretty imitations of the amusements of their elders, that shall mingle bothsexes, without exciting sheepishness on one side or coquetry on the other. As for the words, "courtahip and marriage," "let them be not so uiuch as named among them." As one method of avoiding ennui now, and a still more valuable means of securing for your daughter comfort and usefulness In the years to come, begin early to teach her that time is precious to herself and [to others. Assign to her stated duties, and appoint certaia hours for the performance of theae. The happy-go-lucky cnstoms of many households reputed to be wellregulated, have !aid broad the foundations of tlie proverbially unbusinessliko habits of women. Work, which may be dtmeat any time, anddiligently or leisurely at will, is not apt to command a respectable market-prico. A house-mother ia easy circumstances coinplained to me: "I never flnd time to read a book, or to make a visit. I am busy all day, and tired at night. Yet I never accomplish anything worth considering. A woman's is an aimless, useless existence." "Tou sew a great deal, probably?" said I sympathizingly. "I never take a needie ia my hand. My seamstre&s evendarns the children's stockings and mine." "You give niucli personal attention to cookery, then ?" I snggested another solution of the puzzle. "Ou the contrary, I have no taste for it; and, after the morning visit of inspection, seldom enter the Iritchen during the twenty-four hours. Yet 1 am not idle, and certainly allow niyself no time for rest. As the country people would say, I Just potter around." Do not let Mamie learn to "potter" or dawdle. If her morning task be nothing more arduous than tuedustirig of her bed-room furniture and the care of her wash-stand, see that all is done promptly and deftly. She shouM dust each chair-round and door panel, as if serious issues depended upon the accomplishment of the business witbin a given time. Of course, being a child, she will be tempted to dally about th work; to drop down into the chair to chat, or to read, or to dreaai for "jus one second." She will tliink it of "no consequence" whether the towels hang straight or crooked upon tlie rack, and four mornings out of seven she will neglect to wash the soap-cup. (If, when on a visit, you have a curiosity to know wl'ether your hostess superintended in person the preparation oí your bed-chamber, consult the soapcup. The best hireling is proneto overlook it.) Mamie will gird under supervisión and schooling iu the "tiresome routine" that soon loses the spice of novelty. Be patiënt with murmurs and sour looks. Women íive times her age, and ten times her knoweldge of life, cry aloud and spare not husbands and neighbors under the pressure of "belittling cares;" sigli Ihat they were made for someling better and higlier, if they do not flnally abandon the house to f ate and servants; close their eyes to dusty tables, bultonless eoalü, and widening rifts in tiny uarments, while "improving their minds," or "getting some pleasure out of a humdrum life." Mrs. Garlield, the true and worthy wife of one of the grandest héroes who who ever conquered circumstauce - even the death which was bnt the slow marcli to his apotheosis- wrote tlms to her husband ten years before his Inauguration-Day : I am glad to teil that out of all the toil and disappointment of the surniner just ended, I have risen up to a victory; that silence of thought since yon have been away, bas won lor my spirit a triumph. I read something like this the other day: '-There is uo healthy thought without labor, and thought makes the labor happy." Ferhaps this is the way I have been able to climb up higher. It came to me one morning when I was making bread I said to myself, "Here I am compelled, by an inevitable necessity, to make our bread this summer. Why not consider it a pleasant occupation, and make it so, trying to see what perfect bread I can make ï" It seemed like an inspiration, and the wlwle of life grew brighter. The very sunshine seemed flowing down through my spirit into the white loaves, and now I believe my table is furnished with better bread than ever before; and this truth, old as creation, seems just now to have become fully mine - that I need not be the shrinking slave of toil, but its regal master, makiug whatever I do yield rue its best fruits. You have been king of your work so long that maybe you will laugh at me for having lived so long witliout my crown, bat I am too glad to have f ound it at all to be entirely disconcerted even by your merriment. Now, I wonder if right here does not lie the "terrible wrong," or at leastsome of it, of which the woman sulïragists complain. ïhe wrongly educated woman tblnka her duties a disgrace, and frets uader them or shirks them if slie can. She sees man triumphantly pursuiug his vocations, and thinks it is the kind of work he does which makes him grand and regnant; whereas, it is not the kind of work at all, but the way in which, and the spirit with whicb, he does it. Mamie, however, quick-witted, is, at eight or ten yeara of age, quite able to enter into the spirit of tuis extract. She may, also, take in something of the inspiration of the ideathat if she makes work noble, work will ennoble her. To dignify the "trivial round, the round, the cornmon task" is an easier nndertaking novv than when woman's work was hard and monotonous toil. Keatnes8 and beauty, elegance and economy, are readily persuaded to dweil in cottage homes. Mamie must be encouraged to make her room flrst clean, then pretty, as a natural following of plan and improvement. Wild ilowers are no longer weeds; birds' nests, moss, and gnarled boughs, are assthetic ornaments. A few yards of cheap, sheer muslin, draping the frame of her looking-glass, cushions covered with Turkey-red on chairs and floor, Christmas cards, clever wood-cuts froni illustrated weeklies and photogruphs, tacked on doors and walls, with Mamie's own books on hangingshelves or other neat case - make a possessed Paradise to the occupant of the chamber, a goodly show to other eyes. Make over the domain to her, to have and to hold, as completely as the rest of the house belongs to you. So long as it is clean and orderly, neither house-maid nor eider sister should interfere with her sovereignty. Am I dignifying above measure the commonplace details, the very plain prose of every day housekeeping ? It is my steadfast belief that if there is any ground for the popular opinión of woman's general incapacity for "business," iiicluding the control of her own and lier children's money, it arises from her inexperience in ownership of any kind whatsoever. From her birth to her marriage-day au irresponsible, penniless pet, she ia likely - with intentious that would honor an angel - to hamper, perhaps to ruin, her husband. Jack raises chickens and sells the eggs and "broilers" to mamma. Willie splits kindling-wood for the kitchenfire, and draws his lawful wages from papa as would any other laborer. Mamie comes down to breakfast, as gay as the morning, her hair bound with a blue ribbon that matches her eyes, waltzes up to papa, in a gale of affectionate glee, throws her arms around his neck, ai'd begs for a kiss. She gets two and a gold dollar' flshed up i'rom the vest-pocket nearest the paternal heart - "because she looku so pretty to-day." Being no dullard, a i'ew repetitions, with variations of this scène, lïx several things in her plastic mind. First, she is glad that she is pretty, not only because it pleases people to look at her, but because beauty is clearly a marketable commodity. Mamilike her thrif ty brothers (and the rest o mankind), ünds money a mighty convenience in this world of barter and sale. Next, she will be very caref ui to preserve her good looks- toheigliten them by every available means, as any wise dealer tries to increase his capital. Lastly, money earned so easily may as well be soon spent. There is plenty more where that carne from. Papa's pocket is the bank, her prettiness a draft payable at S'ght. Spasmodic supply is the mother of extra vagance. Money that comes ia surely, but not fast, in return for regular labor, does not, as a rule, íind a wasteful outlet. Jack and Wilíie are pretty certain to have savingsbanks ou the mantel of their bedroom, or hidden away at the back of the top-shelf of their clothes-closet, where the sight of them will not be a constant temptation to expend the contents. Have you ever given a passing thought to the dissimilarity of your girls' habits ia this particular? Ever asked yourself or them why they elect to carry their money in a pocket-book or purse, and seldom go out of the house without Itf The whole system of the different education of boys and girls with respect tomaking, keeping, and spending, money is perniciojis, yet fearfully consistent iu all its sections, from the eradle to the tomb of her whom the laws or most of our states hold as a minor in perpetuity. Set a reasonable valué, then, on Mamiu's work, and let her have what she earns. Pay her for picking berries, hemming towels, shelling peas, and dozens of other small tasks, stipulating that they must be done well and "on time." As her ability and industry increase, advance her wages. Give her practical lessons, in the righteousness of your own equitable dealing. Let her make out her bilis, keep her own accounts, and never impress her with the belief that she is a dependent upon you for aught save love and care. There is no more eiïectual way of teaching her to play the iiïterested toady, to truckle to you or to her father, in servil e covetousness when she wants money- ïhe way to lèarn how to work is te work. In order to understand how to manage funds, one must have funds to manage. It is doinestic bnbery and corruption to recompense your girl in money for being pretty or well-behaved or sweettempered. She should early be made to feel thak the price of spiritual graces is not to be told in dollars and cents, and to be modestly grateful to the Giver of all goods for what share of personal charms has fallen to her lot. She can not be instructed too soon in the great truth that care of her body - of its purity, health, and strength - is duty slie owes to herself, to her kin and to

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Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat