Inquiring For Gore

The other day a stout woman, armed with an umbrella and leading a small urchin, called at the ofRce of a New York boys's story paper. "Is this the place where they flght Indians ?" she inquired of the gentleman in charge. "Is this the locality where the brave boys charges up the canyon and speeds a bullet to the heart of the dusky red-skin '{" and she jerked the urchin around by the ear, and brought her umbrella down on the desk. "We pHblish stories for boys," replied the young man evasively. 'I want to know if these are the premises on which the daring ladsprings upon the flery mustang, and, darting througL the circle of thunderstruck savages, cuts the captive's cords and bears him away before the wondering Indians have recovered froni their astonishment! That's the information I'm aftr. I want to know if that sort of tnuug Í3 perpeimieü tiere !" and she swung the umbrella around her head and launched a crack at the young man's head. "I don't remember those speciflc acts," protested the young man. "I want to know if this is the precinct where the adventurous boy jumps on the back of a buffalo and wiih unerring aim picks off one by one the blood thirsty pursuers who bite the dust at every crack of his faithful rifle ! 1 am lookingfor the place where this sort of thing happens 1" and this time she brought the unlucky young man a tremendous whack across the back. "1 think - " commeuced the dodging victim. "I am in search of the shop in which the boy road agent holds the quivering stage driver powerless, with his glittering eye, while he robs the male passengers with an adroitness bom of long and tried experience, and kisses the hand of the lady passengers with a gauaniry oí ueamig uiai unsjjeeiKa iiouio birth and chivalrous nature !" screamed the woman, driving the young man in the corner. "I am looking for the apartment in whieh the business is transacted !" and down came thb umbrella with. triumphaiit force on the young man's head. "Upon my soul, ma'am I" gasped the wretched youth. "L want to be introduced to the jara in which you keep the boy scouts of the Sierras ! Show me the bins f uil of boy detectives of the prairie ! Point out to me the barrels f uil of boy pirates of Vq Spanish main !" and with each denand she dropped the umbrella on t,e young man's head until he skipr e(j over the desk and sought safety ;An a neighboring canyon. (' l'U teach 'em ]" she panted, grasping the urchin by the ear and leading him off. 'Til teach 'em to make it good or dance. Want to go flght Indians any more ? Want to stand proudly upon the pinnacle of the mountain and scatter the plain beneath with the bodies of uncounted slain ? Want to say 'hist !' in a tone that brooks no contradiction ? Propose to spring upon the taffrail and with a ringing word of command send a broadaide in to a richly-laden galley, and then mercifully spare the beautif ui maiden in the cabin that she may become your bride ? Eh ? Going to do it any more ?" With each question she hammered tue yelping urchin until bis bones were sore and he protested nis permanent abandoment of all the glories enumerated. "Then come along," said she, taking him by the collar. "Let me catch you around with any more ramroads andv carving knives, and you'll think the leaping, curling, restless prairie fire bas; swept with a ferocious roar of triumptt across the trembling plains and lodged;