Fooling A Quiet Man

A day or two igo a man wearing a loo 'ï of doubt, aud having the air of one canying a freat mental barden, made up to i citizen wbo was seated under onc of the City Hall porticoes, and softly began: "l'm green. I Uve out here about ten miles, and I never read nor hear anythinguntilit's a year oíd, I want to ask you a question." "All right, sir." "What is the Oscar Wilde stjle?" "Well, there is a chap nameu Oscar Wilde. Hes a cross between a fooi and a lunatic. He dresses like a child, and sees more beauty in an old brick-yard than the rest of us eau find in a botanical gardeu. Anything outrageous, ridiculous or absurd is called af eer him." "Is that it? Well, that settles me!" " What is your trouble?" "Well, you see, 1 have a vvife and two daugbters. About six uionlhs ago 1 caaght one of the gals a-kissing a carpeuter, and she said it was the Oscar Wilde style. Then I an on to the other with her head on ie hired man's shoulder, and she said ;be same thing. I didn't kuow, you know, and I had to let it pass. I didn't want my gals to be bebind the age, you see, and so 1 didn't kick. Then I caught the old woman feeding caramels tu a house-painter, and that was the Oscar Wilde style once more. It'sbeen going on all over my farm ever since - moonlight walks, kissing under the apple trees, hugging on the veranda, and calling oach other darling all over the dooryard. And now it wasn't the Oscar Wilde style after all?" "Hardly." "ïbat settles mesóme more! I'm going home! I'm going at the rate of six miles an hour ! I'm going to bounce in on 'em in tho rnidst.of their hilarity.and if I don't mangle and pulverize the whole caboodle I'll come back to the kicked! Oscar Wilde! Why, I'll slam 'em and bang 'em and mop 'em to flinders! Oscar Wilde! Why, Pil !" And he went away on a trot with a glare in his eyes and his üsts donbled up.