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An Old-fashioned Lyceum Lecture

An Old-fashioned Lyceum Lecture image
Parent Issue
Day
9
Month
March
Year
1883
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Reader-, didst ever deliver a lecturc at a country "lyceum?" If so, rcad the following. It is good. "We have be n there." Migj. Browii liaving a lectuic upon tlic Parthenon, was invitcd to deliver it beforc the lyceum at Walnutville. Knowing of Waluutvillo only that it was fiíteen 'miles from a railroad, Mrs. Brown suggested a more popular sublcct. No; Walnutville wunted the Parthenon. At the Ktaliort named in the letter of direction Mrs. Brown -aaw a stages and soon its driver said: "Be yo.n ■ the leeturer for Walnutville. "Yes' "Wa'al, git riglit in; and you haiu't ha mi-ï ii nnir nn fnvn iinifhoi' itw T'in L í ' I i a 1 1. ' ' iim i ii i L t i v1 i i . i i A L i 4 ' r 1. a i fc t thc committce th.it wrotc yon." Mra. Brown v:is Üio ouly passongci', and tho drivei' cliocred the long and lonely wrvy by telling her, "Folks was tliiukin' a'siglit aboit seein' onher, lots on 'em rem(!niberin' her granilsir.'' They. wore onljr four hours on the road, and wHe.n the time for the locturo carne Mrs. Drown was escortcd to the hall by the saine gentleman. On the way he exhorted iier to speak up, and not be like "thoru Methodist wimmen, who mumbled so folks did not know vhen to say 'Hallclnjah.' " sistod oí a great room with an enormous outsicle door opening dircetly into it. Theré wcrc seats against the wall upoii two skles, which Uiu stago driver explained as boinfí tlic placo whorc "tho oíd men sot town-niüclin' lay." The people who wcro in tiieiv scats turned round and jjazed at Mrs. Brown whilc slic took ott 'lier wraps and put on her gloves. Telling her escort she wps ready, lie said Re '■warn't rt'goin' upon that roostrum to raake a fooi of himself; the minister had got to do that." While waiting tor tiie minister, and enduring the staring of the audience, Mrs. Brown diverted her mind by wondering why :i r;nv of mon were seated HL uu: UIlLh. Ui uiu u;u mi jii. rmiuiv cunosity con i j ucri'il . "WlnU trc thosc; men up ilierc for?" "Thcm? Why. they're the Walnutvillc BrMS Bami', and they're goiir lo play. Don'1. Ihcy have no bands wliere y on come fronit1" Fortunately Mr. iSnow, tin; ïuhiistor, appeared Uien, ahciMrs. Brown trailed mcckly up tbc :islr afliíi-hirn. Obtídient to lii.s gesturb, sin; sal down, and he said.'AVo wil! unito in praycr." Tliat L'Ncr'isc disposod of. Mr. Snow proeceded with 'Columbia. llic em of the ocoaii.' '! The performance was sfüuning, deafening; )jut bcfore brcatli or hearing could bo rcgained tlie agile clergyman was again on liis feet: "The choristor of the Baptist einuvh will now deliglit the audience with a - 'Tlioro's a erood time cominc. boys;.wait a little Jonger.' The choristcr walkod Blowly ti the steps of the platform, and waited, lookinp; sevorely at Mr. fSnow. "I forgot tosay," shoutcd that muchaftlicted mau, "that hb will bc accompained by his daughtcr ou a Masón and Hanilin in.strument." Then the father and daughter mounted the stage, the organ was whpoled into ts place, and the performers liad a good time, if nobody else did. The audience was indifferent to an alarming degree, lookingtö Mrs. Brown like scores of duplieates of the goddess Pasht who sits and glares at people in the British Museum. Airnin Mr. Snow: ''Mrs. Brown will now read us a pieos on tlio Parthertdn." . Mrs. Brown stopped to thcfronl, and, amid stillness soprofound thatsheeould fcear the, brêaithing of persóns near her, read her pieoc. lt look au hour, and during all that time the death-like quiet was broken but once; nnd tlien a boy who had elimbfld up on the outside, and peeped in :it ii winclow, informed his eompanlons in a hoarae whisper that "shc warn't no grcat to look at, anyhow." Not tl hand stirred nor even an ejelid moved wiien the Parthenon was ended; but Mr. Snovv allovved no time for embarrassmcnt, for he v,Tas at once on his feet "The chorister of the Methodist clmrch will sing 'Kocked in the eradie of the deep.' He will accompany Iiimself." The same masterfy indiflerencc while the Methodist chorister rocked himself violently baekvvard and ioriyard, and ■vhile he was vviping his heatod brom after h(; liad returned to his seat. But ïnuctatigable Mr. snow Knew do weanncss: "The baad will again dcliglit us witli 'Marolnng through Georgia. "Hark! froni the tombs," would havo suited the tempor of the ivuliencc oqnally as wcll - to all appoarance, bctter. Finally, the minister eoneludod: "These exercises will close wit'i a benediction." He had liardly spoke its last vvords vvhen the stago-driver shouted: "Here, marm, is the money wu've took. You eau take your pay on't." Mrs. Brown, not acöustomed to approving herself, declares she rose to tliat occasion, for she turned all lbo money into her pocket-handkerchief, and told him she would settle on her way to the train. One or two people walked np to her, limply shook her hami, aml said, plaintively, "We have enjoyed your lecture," bnt vvith these exceptions tlie awful silence was 'not disturben. To tlns day Mrs. brown ís in doubt if thcy thiiik tho Parthenon an improved sowing-nuichinc or a ncw kind of hay-spreider. .

Article

Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat