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Who Wants To Be A Local Editor?

Who Wants To Be A Local Editor? image
Parent Issue
Day
1
Month
June
Year
1883
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

For the benefit of any aspirant to the position of local editor on one of our dailies, we apend a perfect epitome of the qualifications, duties and cares of that enviable (?) position, as set forth n the Chicago Tribune: "It is easy enough to be a local editor if yon think so, but some special qualifications are necessary to success. For the enlightruent of young men who have an itching that way, we will enumérate some of the indispensible virtues, without which success is impossiblc. A good local must combine the loquacity of a magician with the impudence of the devil. He mustknow how to time a race horse, gaff a cock, teaeh a Sunday school, preach a charitable sermón, run a saw-mill, keep a hotel, turn a doublé somersault, and brew whisky. He must be up to a thing or two in political eeonomy, au fait in the matter of eooking beans. On the trail of mysterious items he must be a veritable slouth hound. His hide must be like that of the rhinoceros. He must be insensible to the cruelest snubs, and manifest no sense of anger when he is kicked down stairs. He must throw modesty to the dogs, and let his tiger howi. "But above all he must bo an adept in the art of puffing. The nearer he npproaches to the blacksniith's bellows, the better he will succeed. He must be ready at all times to say something funny in regard to Smith's grocery, or to surround Miss Flounec'smillinery establishment with a halo of glowing adjeetives. He must be enthusi:iMtk; 011 the subject of liams, verbose in extolling hardware, and highly imaginative in the matter of dry goods. He must look pleased when invited to walk sixteen squares in the boiling sun, to write a six line puft' for a labor saving churn or a patent vvashing machine. Ho must fp.el grateful when invited to dino at the Dogsnose hotel, and write a glowing account of the excellence of the hasli and the durability of the beefsleak. "Ii he feels any sense of humiliation in sitting down to a festal gathering, on the occasion of the presentation of a sword to Captain Sankopanzy. or a set of silver service t' a horse inspector, he must smother it, and revenge hiruself on the campagne and cigars. He must affect to believe that he is invited in a purely social way, and not for the sake ot having him write a good account of the ceremonies, with threo nalumns of speeches in full, for the nexi morning's paper. If he flags in hu description of Hodge's premium bil!, or 'Iets down' in winding up the oil indications of Shovedyke's farm, he must take ït kindly for being reproved for his shortcomings. "In the matter of shows the local must alwaysbe brilliant. He iiusttalk learnedly of panoramas, wit! a liberal admixture of knowing woru ■ uch as 'warmtij,' 'tono,' 'foreshortening,' 'high lights,' 'forcirround,' 'perspeetive,'etc.; he must be heavy on concert, with a capacity to aporeciate Miss Squak's execution of di'Jïcult feata in the 'upper register;' he raust be ecstatic in praise of doublé hoaded calves, and eloquent in behalf of at vromen and living skeletons. All this, and more, it taires to be a loca!. ' '

Article

Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat