Press enter after choosing selection


"phunnygraphs." image
Parent Issue
Public Domain
OCR Text

Reserved seats - patohes for the small boy's trousers.- N. Y. News. What is the differeDcc between a dull razor and a bad boy? ÍTone; for the)both need strapping. The first time you see two women kissing each other just notice how quick they let go. - Rochester JSxpress. Bitter refleetion by au industrious and frugal mendicant: "Here I am - I've been a beggar for twenty years, and I ain't rich yet." - Paris Wit. "Put Your Arms Around Me, Dear " is the title of a new song. It is a companion piece to "Soak Your Feet in a Pot of Glue." - Pittaburg Leader. Cucumber green is the new shado for ties. The man who is tied up in a knot from the cucumber he has eaten will have the intense satisfaction of knowing he is in style. - Christian Banncr. "Mr. Isaacs, can you told me vere vash te first diamond?" "No, Mr. Yawcobs; veré vas it?" "Vy, Noah's son on der ark; he vas a Shem of deifust nater. -"Boston Commercial Bulletin. Husband - "I want to teil you some good news I have just had my lif insured." Wife- "Your life! That'g just the way witü you selfish men. You would never think of having mv life insured." A barometer is invented by which topers can teil when they've had enough; butwhen that happy state is reached they're too boozy to see the letters. It always appears to read, "Very dry." - Danbury News. Canes for dudes, made of single straws, are the latest things out. It is feared they will be so heavy as to overbalance their brains, but a trial of them will be made in the cool hours of a spring day. - Troy Times. Mrs. Pinaphor can't understand why a poet siiouiu wnte lines " To a Waterfowl," when such a fowl doesn't even knowthe alpbabet, and wouldn't understand tlie verses if they were to be read to it. Sure enough. - ííorr. Herald. Said a student of one collego to a friend who was attending a rival institution: "Your college never turas out gentlemen. ' "No," was the reply, "our college allows gentlemen to go right on and gradúate." - Baltimore American. ín a New York boudoir: "I hear that Miss Blank has returned f rom Europe." "Yes; and she don't pnt on half so many airs as she used to. ín faetsheis completely crushed; the Prince of Wales did not kiss her once.'" - Philadelphia News. A scientific journal asserts that a little cheap benzine will extermínate ants. Yes, yes, no doubt of it. Xhere has been a large number of úneles and other relatives exterminated by too frequent and injurious use of ono kind of cheap "benzine." - Peck's Sun. When the office cat walks across your desk and feels like settling down for a sleep, why is it she settles right on the letter you are writing and splashes the iuk around and makes the whole thing assume the appearanoe and general character of an unintelligible tcn-thousand-dollar etehing? "Doctor," said a fond mother leaning over the bedside of her son who seemed to be suffering greatly, "what is the matter with him?" The physician examined the suft'erer, and replied, "He' siek." "ïhere," exolaimod the woman, "1 knew you could teil what was the matter with him. How fortúnate it is that you are in the noighborhood" And she looked at the medical gentleman with an expression that spoke of restful


Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat