Our Telephone Girl

The night was still and the telephone girl was roasting her 'sliins by the kévboard and 777 was expqsed. She fiew fo the oall button and pressëd it down Hntil the bell at the other end seemed tp have gone mad, then put lier inoiith to the transniitter and said: "Helio!" "'Ello!" carne tho response. "Give me old Pestle's drug store." "All right; here is Pestle himself." "'Ello', Pestle." "Heitot who is it?" "Hemmons 'III." "Emniöns Hill?" "Yes theman that bought a.'alf .gallon, of whisky of you this hevenin'." "Wll, what da. y on want?" "Hi would like to know what haijH the whisky. It biinis like flre hand nearly killa me to drink it." "Oh, I guess;it is uil right." "Ño it haint. It1s all wrong." "Well, I'll find out. I'll 'oak the Ixwh. Say, John, what ails that whisky iü thé blue barrel?" Here the naughty girl switöhed on an attachee of a show who was èrplaining to his employer the diBposition he hád made of the animáis in their winter quarters, and who had just said that;he had put all of them in tho new batn, expect the reptiles, and been asked what he had put in the cellar, and he repliedt "üh, I put aeven of the largest enaks in it. ,: rhey will keep better there than anywhere else Yuu know it takes a pretty good artiele to keep . them-iu, aijd that was the best to be had." Tbat iswhy a druggist has lost u km1 oustomer aud an Enghtthiuan ha lut his nppetite for gtrong .drink, and now the tolepiione girl regarás hereel f ;in tlic boss temperance reormor of thaige, and struts by the saloons pompoualy. . "I hab nebber befoali dun nwtictxl," remarkéd & venerable cólored genHemam tó a bystander at the menngeriej the other day; "how jHÚch the munktjy sembles de white mam - '{ect at some time wa back io á& mista ül antiquisy, prob'ly in de epizootic sihirian; epoo ob de universe, and beiOBh de. primordial atoms ob de great original chaos had 'suined deir wariouajpreaent.inoliíications, dat do rnonkey munt hab.eboluted from de white man. In dis view pb de matter I'ee 'ware dat I difler trom do views ob de scien tiste dat de white muí i eboluted from de monkey. But dey is all wrong. Now ít ama indisputed'axi ium dat one thing oan't comó out olj anodder thing unlesa it am first iu dat thing. Npw ïf de scieptists am rjght, whatl want to knöw am die, de monkey bein' so inuch smaller dan de white man, how dè white man eber gót-mtode monkey?" '_ ■_■ ■ 'ï ! The Israelitea have a.dior..pf recpnciliaf tion on which it is cuetomary ïór those who hayQ hard feoliiiiis to shake' huinln oyer the bloody ohasm. Mose ScliaumburL and Ike öchwindelmeyef are' rival jnerohant princea ón Austin áyéiiúe, and have said eome'pretty Tiárd thínge abo ut each other. They hate each other cordially, each one being rery nniöfa-in-th other'B way. On the day of recpnoiliation' tboy happened to meet. "To-day vashdöt recönciliatiötl Öay' said Mose, holding out his hand. Isaac tooï the ófTeréd hand andsaid "Moses, I visheffypii all dose dings yat yöu vishee me." "You vishes me dose dSngs vat I visji you. So you vants to start dot fus again, eh? Vy don'tyon sohoost conie ont and say dot yon vinhos me pal:luok." Augustus and Clara had become egaged af ter the usual manncr of ypurjg people who ljaven't anytbing else to do, and Clara showed a tÜMpoBitioij aftr: some time to dissolve the tic. "Augustus," she eaid one evening, "let's don't be engageil áñy Joügër." "What's that for?" he KlqUlréd wiih sóiñe suiprise. "Don't trouble yourself aboüt the rinb, Clara. Tt it only a sham diamond anp'way. Iboughta half dozen for r thrëe dollars, just to uso in little emergencias, like this. Good by; don't teil aiiy of. the other girls the rincr, plehae. and he went out.-