When a man (jets tight on wbiky he has to take the corn-sequence. What the inebríate sees may often be described as a circular saw. If sorae men had to eat their own words their health wonld be ruined forever. A short horae ia soon curried, but he must be caugh't. The same may be said of a short cashier. Seems a if the most likely place for a fishermau to get a bite would be at the mouth of the river. People will drink, no matter what the law or the example set. Even beef fre'luirUyX#8SSo.!.HV.k .. UBnally has to cali on some old roostor of a husband to pay for it Popinjay says that he wishes that he could induce his wife to try the earlyclosing movoment on her mouth. "ïou tninK sue wni niaite a goou siopmother?" ''I know it." "How so?" "She cuts her bread au inch thick." ïhere is one thing to be said in favor of early marriage. It gives the couple a íew more years to find out wliich is boss. "Blood relations mean ne8r relations,'' said Widow Conannigan to her boy. "Well, tben, you must be the bloodiest relations I've got,' he replied. Somebody inquires: "Why does a 1 oy whist Ie V" A harder conundrum woald be, how oan he help it when he comes upon a watermelon patoh, und sees no doe in sight. "And what would you do with the dime if I gave you one?" wit} tho lly . "Pleasc, ma'am, l'd buy bread," replied the lad. "Poor child," piously observed the lady ; "you know not that man liyeth not by bread alone. I have no dime witli iuo, but .if you will cometo my house I'll give you a couple of tracto written expressly for little boys on the awfulness of gluttony."