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A Serious Mistake

A Serious Mistake image
Parent Issue
Day
22
Month
October
Year
1886
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

Minister (to Uiilor) - -"Yod havo cut the vest wrong, Mr Mistit. I wanted it to button close about the neck This is the style thdt any gentleman wears." Mr. Misfit - "Yes, it's rny mistake You wanted a minister's vest, and I'v gone and cut a gentleman' vest. But I guess I can fix it."- N. Y. Sun. Aunt Johanna (spending a few days with her niece) -"And so you bolong to the cookiug club, Matilda? Do you luid that you gain practical knowledge from your lessons?" Matüda - 'Oh, yes, indeed, aunt. You spoke last night of that roquillo of chicken, you know?" Aunt Johanna -"Yes, it was delicious." Matilda (tnumphantly) - "Welli that was our lesson. Our teacher made it for us, and I was si delighted with it that before I ever cauie homo I drove around to the caterers and ordered it atonce." 'Wliy don't you niarry?" "Well, you seo, I atn very partícnlar how my intended should be" - "Kxplain yourself." "My wife must be rich handsbme andstupid." "Why all ïhat? ' "Very simple. She must lio rieh and bandsome, otherwisc I would not havo her; and slie must b stupid, otherwisa fihe would not have me." A bootless task - Ooing barefooted. "Yaas," said Snooks, "I have been living on an exclusively vegetable diet down in the country - nothing but egg3 and mil k, yoú know." Mrs. Sylvan sont to the city theother ■ day tor ■ ohe of those rutabaga hats." Tlio rjood woman wanted one of those tliat turnip at the side. It was a son of Erin who askod the meeting to excuse him from servins; on a comrnittee be auso he expected to be imexpectedly called away. "How rlid you begin life?" thevoung man asked the great man. "I d dut begn it," tr.ilhfully replied the great man. ' it was hero when I got here." 'Oh lo lie in the ripening grass!" i xdaims a newspaper poot He can lie there as well as in the newspaper, or can havo a lorubstonc do h:s fying tor liim. A man innv havo bis hea 1 s i stuffed w th kninvlcdge that his hair cau't grow, and vet have his feet knookcd i leur out from under him by a question or two from a 1 ttle mido-et oo small to know an idcn f rom a gooseberry. In speaking of the junior class in the nniversity this year the pr fessor said: 'The junior clflfls will embrace seventeen young l&dles." "It will!" exclaimed the yonng man addressedi ' Great S ott! the i l shall join the junior lass. " Outside a miiier'a tent 'n Idaln a redshirtod man was looking; f r his tin cup. Not findinp; it, he observed: "Some 'infernal tbief hos stolen niy up." "Xhen, thrust!ug his hcad into the tent, lie asked. "Any o" yo i gentlea.cn got it?" Póasonby- "1 saw yoi playing bil liards last ■ ight ith Litewáite. How il c! you coma out?" DeGuy - "Lost $1200 on eight games." ' Merciful smoko, whal n loss!" ! should say so, and the worst of it was that two dollars Of it was cash " A Pan Franci.sco Chinaman who had been fuund iinigg ing i igars in his coat sleevo, wás asked how he carne by the sogars "A flcnd askee me to hold thern till he coiae back: he o e bad man, he no come back, ho liabee ebil eyc," replied tlie innocent Ah Sin. Af ter the most exhaustivo practical tests in hospital and elsewhere, the gold medal and certifícate of highest merit wero awofded to Bt. Jacob's Oil. as the beat pain-curing remedy, at the Calcutta International hxhi bition.

Article

Subjects
Old News
Ann Arbor Democrat