Sam Jones Nuggets

You pack your preachers in an icehouse and abuse them all the year because they don't sweat. Many of us aro too decent to be rcligious. I never cali ñames, but every fellow knows his nuniber when I talk. I know in one church where twenty were praying for the millennium and twohundred were prayiug for the booby prize in progressive eiicher. Such Christians as that would not be in heaven six nionths bcfore they would be gambling for each other's crowns. I am a Methodist till I find something with more git-up-and-git about it. I never became satisfied in Georgia till we put legs on all the barrels and demijohns in Atlanta and moved them away irom our boys. I had rather be a man in the truest scnse of the word than the best angel in heaven. The church is the last place in which to be solemn, providcd you have lived right If I have lived right, I'll wear a smile as bioad as heaven; but if l've been swindling and doing wrong I'll have one as broad as a graveyard. I want to be a good man and a good husband, but God keep me from bcing a nice preacher. God never made two men alike but one was of no account. I'd rather be a mau tliau a 'dignified' preacher. I'd rather die on a well-fought field of battle than run away and speculate on the spoils of the war. A cross is God's will one way and yours another. Some people think they can't be pious unless they are everlastingly on tho beg. I pray for my daily bread, but I liave to hunt for my corn pone with the sweat running down the hoe batidle. I'd rather go to heil than to go nowhere. Dignity is nothing but the starch of a shroud. Every society woman who claims to be a Christian lias got to get out of society sometime in life or go to heil. I'd rather have a daughter of mine get a snake bite than a society b;te. Scoiety is a heartloss old wretch, sapping the spiritual life from thousands of people.