When She Is Engaged

Society, saya a writer in Harper's Bazar, is very much to blame for its readiness to declare an engagement olT without sufficient reason and to circuíate rumora prejudicial to'the gentleman it an engagement isbroken. This has often led to the final disruption of relations which otherwise migbt have terminated in a happy inarriage. Unfortunately in an age of gold, money has becomean important factor in modern matrimonial ; ments. 13ut plenty of young hearts find each other out, and despito the woes of civilization, the good old fashion of marryingfor love is notyet extinct. Once engaged, the happy pair should avoid all demonstrations ot affection, except tliat they may walk together arm in arm, and the young lady may drive out with her adianced with a servant behind. She must not, howeyer, go the opera or theater with him atone; she must have chaperon if she would consult the prejudices of society. An engaged girl should not take on airs. Some assumo a different manner when engaged: Disdnin and Bcorn ridesparklingin lier eye, j Miaprizing what they look on: and her wit Vainas herself so highly thnt to hor All matter elso seerned weak. She cannot love For tako no ehapo or project of affection, She ia so eell-ondeared. She haa the air of a victorious ceneral who rides into a captured city. Fortunately, such conduct is not usual, but it is by no means impossible. Then, again an, engaged girl'a conduct toward the family into which she is about to enter should be most amible and respectful. Some women have but to bow and smile to conquer the world; there are others who must study long and patiently to achieve a good manner. The worst manner is bom of a coai-se ndifference and a self-sufficient arrogance. Breeding, cultivation, and manners come from the heart and mind. She is the precious daughter-in-law who comes into a family bringing all these as her dowry; who treats her future family with even more circumspect politeness than she would her own; who is so encharitiug, so symrjathetic, that the family do not wonder that Charles feil in love, and they all welcome this new addition with almost the enthusiasm of a lover. When an engagement is announced the family of the lover all cali on that of the lady, The announcement should come from the mother of the gentleman; as soon as is convenient and proper there should be an invitation extended by the family of the young man to that of the young woman. She then becomes an autocrat; everything is relerred to her. She goes out with he future mother-in-law or sisters, and is one of them, in fact, though not in name; she can visit them at their house, but she must never travel alone with her lover. Our language is singularly deficiënt; we have no word to represent fiance and fiancee; "my daughter's engaged" is a very awkward phraRe; "my daughter's beau" is old-fashioned; "my daughter'o young man" is very countiified; "my daughter's lover" is scarcely a proper phrase, so we have to beat about the bush unless we adopt the Prench word, for the sake of convenience. A fiance gives his fianceo a ring, a diamond generally, or a ruby set with diamonds. He may also give her a sapphire or turquoise. The etiquette to be observed by a young man toward hi.s futuro oride may safely be lett to the intuitions of his heart.