The Boy

Who Finally Finds Out That It Is No Easy Job to Look After a Lire Baby- A Graphic and Very Amusing Account by One Who Kno-ws. Thore was a man named Dollinger, fntlier of a small boy. The small boywas Ui ree yeaw and six months old, And full of the old Harry in proportion. Now it has happened in the past Ihat this man Dollinger had stood muoli with lus nose up in the air and bonsted how he could take care of the smal! boy. which latter's name was Willie; and he said that his wife, mother to this Willie, was not posted on taking cure of children, and that he blmaolf could manage him without unaking such a fuss about it He had Inugbed at her, and mocked her, and tolil lier his mother had brought up her ch Idren differently, and albelt much botter. And likewise he added that lier niised biscuits went more to the spot. So in good time it feil out that the woraan would go down town for the ofternoon. And beforo this the hired ET'i"l had jumped the ranch, but the man snid it mattered not - that he would take care of the boy. And wliile the woman was goinir down the front walk Willio wliooped twice like a wild ludían and asked eight questions. for the boy huntrered for information. And wliile his mother paused at the gate looking at a woman who was riding past, to seo whether she had a new luit or hor old one ruado over. liltlu Willie asked a few more questions. And it was so that all of the boy's quoslions were short, but the answers to lliem were long and exceedingly ilillicult. Aiul it was three hours before the woman returned, but Dollinger thought t was Ihree mouths, for his offspring Dinde it hol for him. And it so haopened that for tho next two minuies after the woman had Btartod tho boy asked no questions, bul iragged the cat out from ander the itove by the tail and yelled like a man when tlie retama come right election nlght Au il his father told him to shut tip and koop still, at which the boy d bey cd, amt sat down upon the floor; and the fiither marked the effect of his tirmness with pride. and sealed himself to read an artiele on the tariff question. Aml ho had read ten lincs when the boy began veiling like a man with his hand oaught in the door of a burglar-proof safe; and he kopt it up for five minutes, bowling oxceedlngly loud, till his father wac gid to stop his reading and comfort him by galloping around the room with him on his head. And it pleased the boy and he nsked ten or fifteen Dnóre questlons; and Dollinger feil over a cast-iron train of cars the boy had loft in tho utiddle of the room. and got up so iuad tlnxt lie kickcd the cat over the rocking-chair, which amused the boy so much that he forgot to insist on answi'rs to his questions; howbeit, he thought of olheif. And during the next half-hour Dollinger had to buttcr four pieces of bread for Willie and get him a drink nine times and sing fonr songs to him tind show how a monkey looked twelve times and go into the next room to see what he was doing five limes and answer thirty-eight questions. And he made bat small progresa with his roadIng, but hu kicked the cat twice, but once he missed her and lamed his right foot on the rocking chair. After this he tried to induce the boy to go to sloop, and rocked him au homand s:uig to him in a harsh, metallic voico, which necded oiling, more than liiiv different songs, and got him a drink eighleen times and answered a question once a minute; and at the end of the time the boy was bright and cheerful and wide awake, and rose op and sakl: 'Papa, can't you kick tho e:it again? - it's awful lots o' fnn. " And il was so that ho kicked it. Tlien the boy rode the broomstick around the house and whooped somo moro; and he tippod over Ihe centortable and three chairs, and hurt hiniseli twico, and ran the end of the broomstick into his father's left eye; and the cat liaving gone out of the room his fatlier fiwore, and slraightway the boy repeated the swear word; and his father sat down tho sugar flrkin where ho could roach it in order to induce him never to uso the word agnin; for he trembled lest tho boy's moiher shonld heat it and straightway know t.s gouroe. Then Ihe boy ate until he became posseamd of a pain, and yelled so that the people siopped on the sidewalk and talked of sending for a policeman. So, to comfort him, lis father got down on all fours and took him on his back and g:llopod around tho odge of the parlor liko a horse; and kicked out backward at Ibe chairs, and pa wed with his arms, and pretended lo put down his head and cat grass; and the boy pounded him in tho ribs with his heels, and whiicki'd him over the head with a (iriun.stick, and asked him some questious, and the questions were after this mannen "Why don't you hold up jour head high like n horse?' ' and "Why don't you kiek with both feet? That' 8 Ihe w:vy a horso does," and 'Wliv don't you whinner like horses?' and "Why don' t you have long ears like Harry Jones' donkeyP" All of which the man had to answer. For whon ho got down he wist not that the boy would want to ride for three-quartors of an hour; but it was so that he did. And after he got up he sank into a cliair to rest, and Willio scattcred his plftj Ihings uround tho house, and threw i's b;ill through a front window and blow on his tin hom, and tore up the late newspapers and played in the coalsciltLle, and wiped his hands on the wiiil and tidies aud the album. And his futlier groanod and sworo to himself. but ho was too tired to got up and stop h m. But as he rosted his body he exoi cised hls mind in unswering a few questions. And as time wore on Willie slippod out of the room and becamo exceedingly stil], by which tokon bis futher kuow that ho was in raischief; but he only blasphemcd uuder his breath a Httle harder and sat still, for he wot now that his back waa broken by boing a horse. And there was no sound in the house for the spaco of ton minutes, nor till Mrs. Dollinger retui-ned nnd discovered Willie and drngged lmn in, and gpoko lo papa so ho would remember it, for tbo boy liad poiired the niolasses and vinegar into the sugar and emptied the mixture on tho floor, and rubbed the cat in it, and himself rolled in the same. And tho woman made it redhot for a man by tho name of Doll no-er.