Caught On The Fly

"Will yon be glad. Saiumy. when youn litlle brother gets oíd enough to talkP" "Won't I, though; an' if he uses cusa words I' 11 smash lns little hcad for hlm."- Life. No paper next month. We always obsorve íhe Fourth of July as long as we are able to. Uut when the th.rty days are out jou can look íor the paper as usual. - Lee County (öa.) News. Customer (getting bis hair cut): "Didn't you nip off a pieco oí the ear UrenP1' Barber (reassuringly): "Yes, sah, a sir.all piece, but not 'nough to effect de hearln', salí." - Texas Mftings. First Colonial Patriot (a century or so ago): 'Tra in favor oí nominating George Washington íor president Second Colonial Patriot: "Kin he carry New York P" "He kin." "I'ni for him." - Neto York Bun. Roporter: Mr. Donnelly, it begins to look as though you wero going to (all in your efforts to prove that Bacon wrote Shakspeare, doesn'titP" Ignatius Donnelly: "Aly dear sjr, as Bacon Baid, There's no such word as fall.' " - Jtulge. Mrs. John Fllghslinger (who paints china): "Oh, John do tako Ihis fish off tny hook! Isn't it a beauty! Bntwhat tnakes it wriggle so?" John (a brute:) "It's just possible it is thinking of the deoorated platter it'll finally bring up on."- Líf Lawyer: "Did you not kiss the plaiutifT continnally when you called un her?'1 Deíeudant (in breach oí promlse suit): "Yes I nover stopped kissing her while I was In the house, but I did that in self-defense to keep her froni singing." - Texas Siftings. Politician: "Well Únele Ras tus, who's your man, Harrison or Cleveland?" Unclo Rastus (caationsly): Tse gwino in dis year íor Une' Rastus, sah; he's ruy man. Is y o' meaniu' any business dis niawuin. Miitah Smif, or aru y o' simply ieelin' obde situationP" - New York Sun. He (from Cincinnati): "Where shall you summer. Miss Du PesterP" She (from Boston): "In Maine.Mr. Gooseboy. We always go there. Papa wants us to fall in New York, but l'd a good deal rather spring there. A frlend oí oiirs autumned in New York last year, and she didn't like it at all."- Judgt. Billy: 'Tom, ain'tyou commin' out wid der boys to havo a game of buil?" Tom: "Can'L I'se got to go to Sunday school." Billy: "Oh there wont be no Sunday school to-day. We've bin down to the church and tied the teacher hand and legs, to the stovo." Tom goes with them.- Life. Minister: "Do my eyes decelve me, or is that a ball gaiue in progresa over in that field?" Sexton: "Jt's a ball game, sir." Minister: "Don't you think 1 ought to go and rebuke them with my pre8ence?" Sexton: "They are the" best olubs in the village. Mr. Phumper." Minister: 'Come onl We will rebuke them together." - Judge. "llow high is your daughtera average tliis year?" the mother oí a fair gradúate was asked. "I have forgotten," was the reply; 'but her graduatiag dress cost $75," and I tliink thls Is the hlghest in the chuts. Her father thinks it was nltogether too high, but he doesn't seem to tako mach interest