Current Notes

Employer - You say you would like to go to your grandmother's funeral this afternoon, James? James - Yes, slr; if it doesn't rain. - Lifo. "So young Jenkins has attained his majority? Vhat is his bias in politics?" "He hasn't any. His politics are as straight as a string." - Detroit Free Press. "Henry," said Mrs. Peck, "I am going to get a bieyele." "Dear me," said Mr. Peck, mildly. "isn't one man enough for you to run over?" - Indianapolis Journal. Wallace - How did you feel the first timo you got into a barber's chair for a shave? Ferry - To teil the truth about it, I feit like a bare-faced fraud. - Cincinnati Enquirer. Visitor - Yes, it's a very pleasant flat. But aren"t the rooms just a tritle smcll? Mr. Flatdweller - So you notice it, too, do you? Well, they were all right UU last week, but the walls were painted on Monday. - Somerville Journal. Something Wrong - It was a very cold morriing and Bobbie carne rushing into the house very much excited. "Mommer," he cried, "there's something the matter with me. Please send for the doctor. I'm breathing fog!" - Harper's Round Table. Jinks - Today I pleased a pretty j woman by telling her that a certain red-faced, snub-nosed, bald-headed mortal looked like her. Winks - Get out. Jinks- The red-faced, snub-nosed, bald-headed mortal was Her first baby. - New York Veekly. "Bunkins, I guess, is about the smartest man of his years in this community." said the cltizen who observes. "Kncws a great deal, does he?" "Knows a great deal? I should say so! Why, j sir, laat man knows almost as much as his 19-year-old daughter who is in the high school." - Washington Star. "You certainly have selected the loveliest spot in the cemetery for your husband's grave," said the clergyman consolingly. "I'm sure he would be gratified." The widow shook her head. "John wasn't that kind," she said doubtfully. "He was one that never