Sketches By M. Quad

A long haired, rnugh looking man fot on tlic train at Evergreen aud tnok (he seat ahead of me, aud after lookiug him over aud siziug him up for a cattlemau I asked if that was his occupation. "No, sir, " he promptly replied. "I tised to be in cattie, bat I'm out now. I'm gorter fopt loóse fnr a few weeks, and I thonght I'd run down to Canon City aud bluff the boys." "Do you rcfer to poker?" "Oh, no. They drove me ont of Canon City three months ago and warned me to stay away. I'm goin back.to make the crowd crawfish. " "That is, you propose todefy the peopie there?" "Bxactly. 111 drop off the train, pull my gun aud walk all over town aud ask 'em what they are goiu to do about it. " "But may not such a prooeeding be dangerous?" I persisted. "Yes, sorter daugerous, but I think I kiu blufi' 'em down." "Suppose you cau't?" "Waal, the train stops there 20 minits, and you'll see how it'll turn out. In that time I'll either blufE 'em dowu or they'U hang me. " I saw that he was wel! armen, but he took matters so calmly that I thought he was boasting. Nofhing more was said about it, and half au hour later the train halted ac Canon City. With a -wink and a nod the stranger rose np, pulled his guus aud stepped off. There was a orowd on the platform, and he was scaroely off the car before there was a wild yell and three or four I pistol reports. Then the crowd started off down the street, bearing the man ! with it, and I was not half through my ! dinuer when one of tho waiters carelessly remarked : "The boys have got him this time. " "Do you mean a long haired man who carne down on the train?" "Yes - Bill Holden. He carne down to bluff the town." "And what is the exact situation at Í present?" "I don't know nothin about tho act sitnation, but if you wam to find Bill Holdeu he's hangin fronj a liuib down there, and the boys are all playin poker ag'in by tbis timo.'' Discovering a Genoral. Af ter supper Colouel Davis andltook seats on tbe botel veranda for a smoke, and ve had just bcgun to talk about warwhen a party carne upwbom be introdneed as Major Harper. The major sat down with us for a talk, and five minutes laterasecond man arrived. He was introduoed as Colonel Thompson and joined the circle. We had got around to tbe battle of socond Manassas when a gentleman carue np tbe steps and was introduced as Captain Tyler. He was drawiug up a ohair to join ns when a man came limping along the etreet, and Oolouel Davis called out : "Oh, Kurnel Peters, come upheah!" Tbe colonel came up and was introduced and offered a cigar, and Captain Tyler had just started to teil us wbat j he saw at the battle of Chickamanga ! when a man dismounted from a mulé and came up to be introduced as Major Hastings. He badn't bitten the end off bis cigar and got seated when a man i came over frora tbe county courthouse ! and was introduced is Colonel j ner. I didn't say anytbing nutil flve minr utes later, when Golonel Davia beckoned to a man across the streef and gnt biin over and introduced hiña as Major Peevey. Tben I inquired : "Colonel, this town turnedoufc a good many men for tho war, didn't it?" "Heaps, Bah, heaps," lie replied. "And most of them got commissions, didn't they?" "Yes, sah, most of 'em." "Is there anybody in towu wbo isn't a captain, major or colouel?" "Let's see, let'a see, " he ruused. 'There'a Jim Dodge, hut he was a capain; Bill Hamion, bnt he was a kurnel. Say, Kurnol Peters, kin yo' name inybody in town who isn't a captain, major or general? Seenis as if there was a somebody strayin around, bnt 111 be dawg gone if I eau place him jest uow. " "Was Joe Williams anything?" quaried the colonel. "Of co'se, captain in the Teuth cavalry. " "And Charlie Smithi" "He was i major and lost his arm at Gettysburg. That takos 'em all in, I reckon. ' ' "flow abont Bill Baxter?" "Say, dawg gone my buttons, if he ain't the man I was aiter!" exclaimed Colonel Davis. "I know he fit into the tvah, but I never heard nobody cali him captain, major or kurnel. ïhere he is uow. Hey, Baxter, come over Leah a minit. " Mr. Baxter crossed tho street and joined our party, and Colonel Davis said : "Yo' wai in the wah, of co'se?" "Of co'se." "But yo' didn'tcome home a captain, major or lcuruel?" "No. " "Just a private soldier, ch?" "Oh, 110. As a brigadier general, Bah, as a brigadier general. " M. Qttad. The Minister Meant Well. Tho debt of the strnggling little chnrch in the suburbshad all been paid off but $600. A clergyman noted for his skill and snecess in raisingchurch debtshad been sent for and was conducting the moming service. ïhe sermón was over, and the work of stirring up the audience to the requisito pitch of enthusiasm had beguu. Subscriptious rose rapidly to $300, then to $400, and after considerble effort to $500, wbere they stuck. In vain the visiting brofcher exhorted and plended. The limit of the cash resources of the congregation appeared tp have been reached, and at last he sat down discouraged. Then Brother Plantas, a highly respected nndertaker, who had made a liberal subscription already, rose and said: "Brethren, this thiug shan't iall through after it has got as far along as ! $500. I believe in a man giving as the i Lord has prospered him, and, althongh I have given a pretty good sized donation I am ready to do more. I'U pay that last $100 myself. Here's my check for the amount. " "I don 't know your name, brother," shonted the visiting preacher, jumping to his feet with enthusiasm, "butl hope your business wil] doublé during the coming year, and I believe it will. " - Chicago Tribune. His Business. Reader - Cliildren sometimes make very amusing remarks. Paragraphic Serf- Yes, indeed. I derive alarge part of my incomefromconcocting smart things that they have said. - Trnth. They broke tho news to the convici ! as gently as possible, but he was never theloss quite overeóme. "Pardon!" he shrieked. "Surely yot jest. You mock me. Pardon? For rae: Af ter I have been babituated to every luxury? It wil! kil] me. Meroyl I implore you, iuercy!" Bnt there was 110 mercy. The will oL the law was inexorable. - Detroit Tribune. The Terrible Infant. Mr. Nicefellow (to adored one's little brother)- There! You uid that erraiid very nicely. Here's a penny for you. Little Brother- Oh, ma! Mr. Nioefsllow gave me a penny. Ma - Well, mj dear, you shonld say - Little Brother- Yes, Iknow, I should say, "Thank yon," but I was so s'prised I forgot. You said he hadu't a ceut.- New York Weekly. A Better Man. Snifflefeg - I have had my genealogy traced by au expert, Mr. Groper, and be assures me tb at my aucestry ruus back direct ly to the Mayflower. Gobilwortb - If you had gone to Tactou, you could have bad your ancestry traced back to William the Conqueror at the very least, and he'd have done it for half the money. - Boston Transcript. A Wiso Provisión. "Iwondah," said Piokaninny Jim, "why 'tis dat white íoiks doan' like i possuju. " "üat'a one er de ways dat de 'couomy ; of nnture takes' kyah ob de cullud folks," replied his mother. "White folks not likin hit is all dat keeps possum xiifiat f'um costiu fo' bita a pound. " - Washington Star." His Best Substituto. Hungry Guest - Williaru, have yon any canvasbaok duck? Waiter - Sorry, sab, but we ain't got no oanvasback duck today. "Well, bring me your ucxt best thiufj. " "Yes, sab. We got sorae fnst class tripe, sah.M - Chicago Tribune. Creclulity. First Villago Go.síip- Do yon believe that awful story that they are telling about JUiss Prim? áecond Villano Gossip - Yes. What is it?- JSTew York Weekly. Confusión. "A7k1 you will not retnrn roy love?" "1 canuot find it in my heart. " The checks must have got mixed. - Detroit Tribuna.