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-Does a standing Joke ever rcquire t eatC How strango it is that hot words will produce a uoolnessl - Diil jou ever kuovy a civil onzineer to beguilty oí radeness? - Atixtny uOW' na!,. - A man who goes fishiny sbouM tako lunoUeon aloug. Ke may get no other bite. tlowever ambitious a shirt collar may be In tliu morning, it is Jiumble enough abotit nuon. It is evident that the carth is feruinine írom the persisteiKte with which ah; reiuiö to tu! i her ftge. Xhere is a man in Cambridge who calis his dog Ualph Waldo Emcrson, üecause he is a great. thin cur. A man who hM an ill-teinpeved and soolding wife oai hor the wamau ol the ire au' javv. - Salem 8uni#am. V,re hear oí men sowing wild oat?, but who over heard of a wroman sewing anything bul tarosP- Sfc Louis Times. -The greta trouble with professional ball club ia to ünd a pitcher that will hüld water- only. - New Haven Megmter. - A nnmber of eminent physicians profes to believe thai, whisky is corajuioe-ive to goud höutih.- iV'. U. Ficaywte. " Casting perils among swine," as the farmer remarked whea he put the Paris greea ia tliö hog puu. - Ouiejo Record-American bows are now etported to England. Americau belï? have been guoceaafully exported there for niaüy yeara. He wto spemls all his life in sport is like one who v.ars nothiug bat f iin;í!á nd cxts nothing but sauces. - N. ?■ Herald. A charitable untruth, an unohavitable truth and an auwUe management of truth or love aio a,li to be cafuully avoided by hiua that would go witu a right foot in tho áarrow way.- N. Y. lieruld. lt was at Nantucket, the other O ti the way upfrom the boatóne of the party asked the ttrirer, " Do tkuy play Tin afore' hereP" "Uuessnot.' ansVered llie benighteJ islandor, with apuzisled look, "bat they play billiards." - Boston Tramóript. One French jonrnaAist to another at the Cafe Richi- " Suppose I should slap jour face?" The other- "Ham! 1 don't know. The other day I was passing in a narrow Street und a donkey gave lúe a kioK, bnt I did not send any Beeonds to the animal." - It may be that the simple-minded farmer haa ao seliish design in tolling the twurist that tish wiü bita only at potito buírs, and in kindly offering to fetthedisoiple of Walton go into the potato patch and get all the bait he wants. - Boston Post. - Oae of the rnost edifjing specta cles in tho operation of the farce we cali Law is that of eminent medical inen testlfying jast as thuy are paid to testii'y, and bewUdering with a mass of polysyllabio jargon and foreign technioalities the twelve idiots who have been ielected as jurynien in a murder trial. - Puck. - Some persons have a great faculty for getting oa in the world. The little shavor who ytood at the foot of nis clasa when WS were schoólboya together aow proudly guards the left ñeld in gome craok base-ball club, and is playinjí for a fielding average of .S)7ü. - New Haven liegistcr. - There was a fight on Gratiot avenue batwoen a man who had been called a liar and one who hid calied him thus, and the man who had objected to the epithot was only about a minute rjettmg all the advantage to be asked for on such occasions, "l've had dl the poundin:; I eare for," said 1 !.... . . - , ■ Oí Í.O.Ü VLtLLr ion that l'rn a liar?" asked the other, asherosaup. "To be honest about It," slovvly replied tne other, as he wiped the blood off his nose, "I am nol entirely convinced. it 1 was on tlie roof of a horse barn, and there wasn't any ladder nandy, I think 1M cali you "a liar again, and run my chance oL dodging clubs." - Detroit Free Press. - In London- in St. James' s Park - there once lived a crane. By some accident he broke one of his long legs, and a Kind doctor who saw him in pain cut it off above the knea. The bird got well, but how was he to get about in the world? He couldn't use a crutch. as a man vvith one leg can, nor had he any frieuds to wheel him about in an invalid-chair, as some sick people have whenthey can't walk. I don't know vvhat the poor bird would have done; but a soldier, who knew hovv to do a good niany things, savv the craae's trouble, took pity on him, and went to work to help him. He made a wooden leg, with a joint for a knee, and he managed to íastun it to the cripple, so that he could walk about and take earu oí hini8ülf. It was not a pretty leg, like his other, but it was usefiil, and he was satistied with it. For a long time this wooden-legged bird was one of the sighta of the park, and very proudly he'bore himself before the erowds of curiou3 boys and


Old News
Ann Arbor Argus